Author: Shelton Bumgarner

I am the Editor & Publisher of The Trumplandia Report

What’s With All The (MAGA?) Burner Accounts Following Me On Twitter?


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

When you live a life that is anonymous as mine is at the moment, it doesn’t take much for you to get all tingly when something even remotely interesting happens.

In just the last few months, a number of obvious burner accounts have followed me on Twitter. You can tell they’re burner accounts because they’re very small accounts that obviously aren’t just Russian bots or trolls. And they follow a very narrow group of people.

Now, this would be, I guess?, flattering but for one thing — recently these burner accounts have been MAGA. I know I can sometimes kind of flip out on Twitter in my pointed anti-MAGA hatred, so it makes me wonder if these burner accounts are name brand MAGA “thought leaders” who want to hate-follow me so they can use my hysterical anti-MAGA tweets to be fascists. Or something like that.

Or maybe all of this is just another instance of me pulling something out of my butt out of whole cloth. That has been known to happen.

Tik-Tok’s ‘Algorithms’ Continue To Be Spooky


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Not a day goes by now that Tik-Tok doesn’t serve me content that is so narrow, so specific to me personally that it makes me sit up and take notice. Of course, I guess that’s the point. One of the most recent instances of this involved me looking at a model’s video on Instagram where she told people to follow her on Tik-Tok. I thought hard about this for a moment, then was ultimately not interested enough to write her Tik-Tok username down. I did not think anything more about it until that very model popped up in my Tik-Tok feed right on cue. I continue to have a lingering suspicions that it’s at least possible that one of three things is happening.

  1. Tik-Tok is far more intrusive than we imagine.
    If this explains how I saw that Instagram model’s Tik-Tok account after thinking really hard about her, then that’s something that, while aggravating, at least fits within the established computing paradigm. That’s something I can accept. Somehow, Tik-Tok is so intrusive that it was able to monitor my Instagram usage and noticed me pause on the Instagram model’s video telling me to follow her on Tik-Tok. All that’s probably a national security threat, but it’s still not that weird.
  2. Tik-Tok is using hard AI to figure me out.
    All this does is take the first option and supercharge it. This takes Tik-Tok’s words about the power of its “algorithms” at face value. All I’m noticing is Tik-Tok’s “algorithms” are so advanced that somehow they are able to infer from my online activity that I would like to follow that Instagram model on Tik-Tok. Again, this is severely troubling from a national security point of view, but it at least doesn’t sound nuts when you tell people about it at a bar.
  3. Tik-Tok is reading my mind in some way
    This, of course, is the most bonkers of all the options. But hear me out. What if the reason I go that model’s Tik-Tok account pushed to me so soon after seeing her Instagram post is I thought really hard about it. As such, when I thought hard for a moment about finding a pen to write down her account name, Tik-Tok’s Singularity technology, it’s “digital telepathy” picked up the concept and waited for me to use the service again so it could push me her account. This is, by far, the most dangerous of the three because that would mean the government of China, through Tik-Tok is able to monitor the minds of millions of Americans — many of them children. This also at least, in an abstract way, raises the prospect of an “inception” scenario where the Chinese government could not just monitor our minds, but implant information into them.

    Ok, that last bit was pretty insane, even for me. But it felt good to write it. Anyway, which one to I think is the right answer? It’s probably some sort of fuzzy area between 1 and 2. There’s no “soft Singularity” involved, it’s just that existing technology has reach the point where it’s really good at figuring out what’s going on in our minds via available information that we provide without thinking about it. At least, that’s what I hope is going on. If Big Tech really can read our minds, then, well, we’re kind of fucked.

Waiting For The Muse


by Slhelt Garner
@sheltgarner

So, I’m now working on a four book series at the moment and there are gaps in the outline of the first book. I know how to fill these holes in the plot will come to me, but it’s going to be a little bit. I’m giving myself until the July 4th weekend to brood on this issue.

The more I think about it, the more the characters in this first book are improving. This first book — what was once a prequel — is going to be a tad shorter and more character based than maybe some of the other books may ultimately be. Things are still sorting themselves out on that front.

For the time being, I’m doing a lot of staring up at the ceiling struggling deep in thought about how to make at least three very unique — yet not identical — female characters who are extremely important to four books that span several decades. (Deep breath.)

All of this a huge amount of fun, but also a huge amount of work. I’m going to have to confront some fears. When I decided to reboot this project, I was just on the cusp of having the first book in a two book series figured out. Then, out of the blue, it occurred to me that I had the blueprint to two books set in the past relative to the story I was working on. And, well, now here we are.

Things are both moving fast and are kind of held up with this new first book. They’re going fast in that I know the overall plot of the story, but are held up because the more I think about the story, the more I realize I really need to dig deep for to figure out some of these characters that have been — to date — more just moods created as part of a huge backstory I had come up with for two books set in the modern era.

I have to admit that occasionally, I’m struck with a serious case of self-doubt. And, yet, the two additional novels I’ve come up with are compelling stories in their own right. So, I keep going.

I Need To Study ‘Mare Of Easttown’ & ‘Ladybird’ As I Move Forward With This Thriller Series I’m Working On


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The thing about this new first book in the thriller series I’m working on is while it’s firmly set in the existing universe I’ve come up with, the dynamic of the story is dramatically different.

As such, there are two stories I need to study — Mare of Easttown and Ladybird. The former because the nature of the novel I’m working on fits it and the latter because of when it’s set — the early-to-mid 90s.

The only reason why I feel I can pull this new, expanded universe off is the fictional events of the series hone so close to my own autobiography that really all I have to do is put the work in — the road map to success is right in front of me. It would help, of course, if I had, say, a wife or a girlfriend to egg me on, but lulz.

I have watched some of the first episode of Mare of Easttown and really like it — though I worry that portions of Pennsylvania are apparently some sort of dystopian hellscape. The (new) first book in this series I’m working on is a lot or more character driven than the final two books — which is a good thing. And, it may be a bit shorter than the other books, which is another good thing.

All of this has solved an existential issue with what I’m working on — I’d been working on the original two books in the series that I was feeling a bit worn down. Now, I can do something fresh and interesting while staying in-universe and building a really solid backstory infrastructure for the other three books in the series.

Anyway, I really need to stop writing about writing and start to read, develop and write.

Well, If Nothing Else, I’ve Created A Massive Creative Universe For The Novel Series I’m Developing


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I started the process of writing a novel several years ago. I had a general idea that I wanted to write a scifi novel. Things went well until my natural creative ambition and huge ego got the best of me: that attempt at a novel collapsed when I realized what I wanted to do was going to take me a decade and would encompass six or seven books — at least.

Flashforward a few years and I, again, realize I have not one book I’m working on, but four. But there is a big difference between what happened a few years ago and now. One, the universe I’m working on is pretty much a very gauzy, garbled autobiography. My writing and storytelling ability has gotten significantly better, as well, so when I took a hard right turn and decided to add two books to what had been a two books one story situation, it’s not like I was going beyond my ability.

In fact, things are going pretty well with these two books set some time before the events of the modern thriller I’ve been working on for years. But I have extremely high expectations for myself and so if I’m going to every finish any of this, I’m going to have to throw myself into a lot of reading.

I also need to recalibrate things. As I understand it, the late Stieg Larsson sold three books at one time — then promptly died of a heart attack — so I just need to accept that I have a lot — A LOT — more work ahead of me than I ever imagined.

But I’ve managed to come up with a cogent four books set in the same place and I’m still really excited to lay them out to an audience. I just have to finish sometime sooner rather than later. I want to at least be close to being a publish author by the time I hit 50 and that birthday is a lot closer than I day think about.

I’m doing all of this alone and in a vacuum, but I’ve made great strides in my storytelling ability, to the point where I can actually pull this rabbit out of my hat.

I just have to believe.

A Modest Proposal: End The Superhero & Woke Hollywood Movie Era


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Movies are a reflection of our collective fears and hopes. As such, the last 20 years — a whole generation — of movies has been dominated by the superhero trope. The general consensus, it seems, is the rise of superhero movies is a response to the tragic events of 9/11: as part of the grieving process we all want to believe that 9/11 could have been prevented if superheroes were real.

But it’s been 20 years, guys, give it a rest.

It’s time for us to move on. We need to stop having two options when we go to the movie theatre: a big budget superhero movie or a “woke” movie that preaches to us.

We need to start thinking about telling human stories like we did between say, Midnight Cowboy to about The Shawshank Redemption. We need to turn the page on superhero movies and start telling stories that don’t involve people running around in capes.

Now, it’s possible this is just not possible anymore because of issues with the marketplace and not the audience — all the types of stories I want to see are now on a streamer. Or, more ominously, it could be that just like rock and pop music are no longer one and the same, audience tastes have changed for whatever reason and this is The New Normal.

We’re never going to have another God Father, or Dear Hunter or Deliverance or whatever. From here on out, we’re stuck with Woke Hollywood that alienates audiences with strained efforts to cram a liberal-progressive agenda down our throats.

It could be possible that audiences from here on out will be subjected to movies like Book Smart where unattractive people screech about lesbian sex positions and that will be that. Once traditional Hollywood stars like Tom Cruise shuffle off this mortal coil, we’ll just have Woke Hollywood producing preachy movies that only serve to alienate us into Blue and Red echo chambers.

Do I have any hope that I’m wrong? Nope. Rock is dead and, so, too, it could be that, in a sense, Hollywood is dead too.

DeSantis: The Autocratic Next Time


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

All macro political trends indicate that the United States is drifting — maybe careening — towards a transition into an autocratic managed democracy like is found in Russia. The man who could very well be the once to tip the balance is current Florida governor, Ron DeSantis.

He’s the political creature that we’ve long feared: Trumpism without Trump.

So, it’s easy to imagine he becomes POTUS and makes autocratic rule palatable enough that it won’t be until Tom Cotton, or Josh Hawley or Mike Pompeo inevitable become POTUS that the ICE infrastructure is weaponized and loudmouths like me start to get pushed out of windows. But for the duration of the DeSantis Administration we’ll see a dynamic whereby hard power is weld by MAGA and cultural soft power continues to exerted by liberals in the media.

We’ll just drift into a Russian-style government so by the time the media is purged and ICE pushed me out of a window we won’t even think about it. About 50% of the population won’t even notice or care that the United States is no longer a liberal democracy because they will, at last, “just be left alone.”

That, at least, is one option.

But there are two other scenarios to think about when feeling bad about how dark America’s future is right now.

One is, Trump is so stupid and craven that he completely fucks up what is otherwise a done deal. He either kneecaps DeSantis out of envy or he somehow bungles our transition into autocratic managed democracy by embracing the “24 or before” slogan and everything goes wrong. In a sense, this would simply delay the rise of fascism in the United States, not stop it.

Meanwhile, the other option is, well, a fucking civil war.

I hate violence and I don’t want a civil war. But if you look at the United States on a macro historical level, we’re very similar to the America of the late 1850s — there may come a point where we have to chose between continued domination by Slave Power (MAGA) or we are forced to slice this particular boil once and for all.

But there are no assurances that the “good guys” would win in such a situation. So, I don’t know what to tell you. We’re fucked.

The Duality Of Maggie Haberman — And Speculation On Why She’s Enraging Trumplandia Right Now


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The thing about “Trump Whisperer” Maggie Haberman is she is, at the same time, both way too close to Trumplandia AND a great journalist. So the Twitter liberals who defend her no matter what and the populist pitchfork crowd on Twittter who hate her both have vaild arguments.

Recently, however, Trumplandia “thought leaders” like Sean Hannity are freaking out about her, apparently out of the blue. It makes you think maybe she’s up to something that she’s asking questions about and they’re doing a pre-emptive freak out to prepare to base for whatever bombshell she’s about to drop.

What I HOPE she’s going to tell us is exactly why Trump was so absolutely desperate to remove 1/3 of America’s troops from Germany right before the 2020 election. I have yet to get any explanation for this directive on Trump’s part and, as best I can tell, the whole thing was off the books to begin with.

Trump just started demanding it happen, without going through any proper channels at all.

This was and is very suspicious.

At the time, I kept ranting about how I thought it was YET ANOTHER quid pro quo between Trumplandia and Russia — Trump removes a big chunk of our troops from Germany, the Russians hack into our election systems.

But…the Russians this go round strangely sat on their hands, even though Trump did everything in his power to give them a major geopolitical windfall in Europe.

But, I’m just a hayseed rube in the rural part of a flyover state. Though, if I guess that this is what Maggie Haberman is about to drop, well, I take back all my snarky comments about her being an “access journalist” and will want to buy her a beer.

Ms. Haberman, however, has to produce the goods. It could be whatever she’s looking into isn’t nearly as momentous as the scenario I’ve proposed. But I will note that my 2020 ranting about this topic is beginning to get just a tick of traffic out of the blue, as if other people, out there in the aether are thinking about what I was thinking.

Trump Is Powerful But Not Popular


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Right now, Trump has completely dropped off the public stage relative to my center-Left echo chamber. It’s like he never existed, or, at least, doesn’t exist now. And, yet, within the MAGA echo chamber, they love him so much they’re struggling to think up ways to get him back into office as soon as possible — even if it requires fantastical — and extra-legal — means.

So, it’s going to be very jarring to a lot of people when Trump magically pops out again in a rather abrupt and unexpected way. It seems to me now possible that Cyber Ninjas will “prove” that Trump “won” in Arizona and this will be at best used as a talking point to win the 2022 mid-terms and at worst used as the catalyst for some sort of weird nullification crisis.

Another possible dystopian hellscape scenario is that even though Trump — who looks like shit right now — has seen his support outside of the MAGA base evaporate will demand he become Speaker of the House should MAGA win the House. Then he impeaches both Biden and Harris and gets a conviction in the Senate by inciting political violence. Democrats in the Senate will be cowed into voting for conviction because the nation appears on the cusp of a civil war if they don’t.

Or something. Something like that.

The point is — we are in a very surreal post-Trump era. While Biden does everything in his power to bring back “normal,” Trump is lurking in the shadows like some sort of movie monster waiting to come back for the sequel. It’s very strange and is not exactly the sign of a stable liberal democracy.

Fucking With Texas: Leaving The Union Would Not End Well For You


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Texas is an interesting state because it has the same political dynamic as the United States as a whole — white Republicans are hysterical about demographic trends and given a choice between revamping their political views or turning into an autocratic American National Socialists party, they are rushing headlong into the latter option.

But, just like other states controlled on a political level by MAGA, the moment we’re no longer talking about politics but the existential threat of organized political violence…oh boy. It’s easy to imagine MAGA Republicans joining the states who want to leave the Union either now (when Cyber Ninjas “prove” Trump “won” in Arizona) or later (Speaker of the House Trump impeaches Biden/Harris and incites national violence to get a convention in the Senate or because of some sort of Congressional nullification crisis in January 2025).

As such, while the fucking MAGA cocksuckers would get to yet again live in the Lone Star Republic…their joy would likely be extremely short lived. The very demographic trends that are making white conservatives in Texas hysterical are also an existential problem for them when all hell breaks loose.

I’m not from Texas and I’m not an expert on their internal state politics, but just a back of the envelope scenario would suggest the moment Texas joins Trumplandia, the whole state will implode to the point that it gets knocked out of the broader political birthing process of Trumplandia.

But the MAGA far right is SOOOOO FUCKING EXCITED at the prospect of either some sort of Glorious MAGA Revolution or a civil war to found Trumplandia that they are totally, completely ignoring the cold, hard facts on the ground. The very people that white MAGA Republican conservatives in Texas are moving mountains to disenfranchise — brown, black and progressive people — would be the very ones who would have a vested interest in making their lives hell should an actual fighting war start.

The point of this is, I wish there was some way to get the far Right in Texas to just fucking shut up about secession. It’s in everyone’s vested interest for cooler heads to prevail and we figure out some way, anyway, to live peacefully in this great, colorful Union of ours.