Category: Tsar-A-Largo

I’m A Delusional Moron: I’m Going To Study Hollywood As An Industry & Try To Start A Blog


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I keep thinking up blog concepts and they go absolutely nowhere. And, yet, I have noticed that on this blog there’s one specific type of post that has a bit more native traffic — entertainment (Hollywood) coverage.

As such, I’ve started a new blog called “Hollywood Chigum” that will feature only writing about the greater Hollywood industry. It’s going to take a while to understand what’s going on so I don’t make a fool out of myself, but I’m willing to put the work into it.

The theory is — if I suck up a lot of time researching Hollywood’s infotainment business, then what time I spend on the novel will be more precious and, as such, I will use that time I have more constructively.

But I’ve failed so many fucking times that I’m going to focus on the novel far more than anything else for the time being. What I might do is any entertainment posts I do here I will also feature at Hollywood Chigum.

Now, about the name.

I spent five years in South Korea as an expat. I really like the sound of the word “chigum.” It means “now” in Korean. I like how brash and snarky the name Hollywood Chigum sounds. And it does have Hollywood in it, so there’s a hook.

But I will note that I’m just a rando in the rural portion of a flyover state. Absolutely no one cares about me and I could drop off the side of the earth right now and barely anyone would notice. It is, however, fun to write about entertainment and the idea of focusing exclusively on Hollywood on a blog is rather fun sounding.

I have a rather unique, wry point of view and I think someone, somewhere might like my hot takes.

American Implosion 2021: Is Texas ‘American’ or ‘Southern’ or ‘Texan?’


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

As we careen towards a possible implosion –> revolution — > civil war type scenario here in the United States, I find myself wondering about Texas. The thing about Texas is it’s something of a trans-purple state. It’s not there yet, but it’s working on it.

So, it’s possible if the country goes tits up on a national level that Texas as a polity will also collapse as the it can’t figure out if its the Texas of Ted Cruz or Beto O’Rourke. Or, it might be something like Kansas right before the civil war – it’s both and only through the force of arms does it figure it out.

Texas has a tradition of both being an independent republic and a part of the CSA.So, it’s possible it might just bounce altogether and take a wait-and-see approach if the Federal government collapses in some way. As I keep saying, if the United States imploded, there would be, maybe, five polities that would find themselves with a lot more power than they ever otherwise would.

But Texas is a crucial player in any revolutionary America. It’s a lot easy to put the Union back together if you have both Texas and California on your side to do it.

And, yet, maybe this is just me being hysterical. It’s very possible. I hope I’m wrong. I hope we punt all this down the political history road for another four years.

How The United States Implodes


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The United States, much like France before the 1789 revolution, dominates global politics. And, yet, the only thing that holds it all together is a shared idea of what it means to be American –and maybe the U.S. Military.

I propose that even if Biden decisively wins in November, that Barr is going to try to steal the election anyway, because, lulz. As such, my scenario of Red States absolutely thinking Trump is president and Blue States absolutely thinking Biden is president will happen and the whole rotting structure will collapse rather abruptly.

I still think it might not be a civil war we have to worry about, but a fucking revolution. I say this because no institution will escape unchanged. The Civil War was, in a sense, a revolution — for the South — but it actually made a lot of institutions far, far stronger. There’s a reason why Lincoln went from calling the United States “these United States” in 1861 to “the United States” in 1865.

But if the whole thing goes tits up, we really need to look at California. California simply leaving the Union is not only a massive self-own, it’s also a huge fucking cop-out. Why leave the Union to tyranny, when you could join up with other Blue States and re-imagine the whole thing? Only California has the population and economy to be a political cornerstone to a Renew American Covenant.

I guess the point of all of this is I’m a traditional Unionist by nature and I want to save the Union rather than give up. It’s just if my choice is between tyranny and the riskier (and more destructive) implosion, I want to at least want to know where California stands in all of this. I love America and simply want “a more perfect Union.”

As I keep saying, I’m being so hysterical for no other reason than it at least makes my fears concreate. I refuse to live under the tyranny of abstract fears and uncertainties.

But I do think we have to take the idea that the United States — the most powerful, most stable nation in the world — maybe isn’t so stable after all. We could actually have something akin to a revolution. If we’re lucky, it’ll be a Glorious Revolution.

If we’re not, well, glup.

House Trump’s ‘Regency’ & The Fate Of America — & Humanity


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

First, let me state that I think Trump is going to be fine. But, let’s suppose he’s a “long hauler” and is incapacitated by COVID19 for a longer amount of time. What happens?

The World Without The United States.

I think we’d have some sort of Regency, then. Probably made up of Ivanka, Jared and Barr. I say this because apparently Ivanka and Jared run everything already and Barr would be the goon that inforced everything legally.

This is how “Trump” would do exactly what we all expect him to do anyway — steal the election post-election. Now, this raises and interesting situation — what if Biden clobbers Trump politically and the House Trump Regency STILL tries to steal the election (which they will.)

This is a recipe for the United States to implode.What I mean by this is our national polity goes –poof! — and we devolve into our major local and regional polities. Even the U.S. Military may not be able to keep things together if that happens. They won’t chose POTUS, because they won’t exist.

Major polities in the US below the national level are California, Texas, the Deep South, the Northeast and NYC. If we were to, God forbid, Balkanize, those would be the polities that would sort things out.

Three things of note — if you keep California in the Union, then that’s the bedrock of any “Renewed American Covenant.” Texas is a real question mark as to which direction they would go which can be summed up by the question, “Is Texas American or Southern?” Also, there would likely be massive domestic political refugees as the Blue and the Red consolidated their political positions internally.

But, remember, the entire 70 year old liberal global order would go tits up the moment the US imploded, so the very existence of humanity might be in question as China-India-Pakistan-Israel-Iran-DPRK began to attempt to get a lot of their geopolitical dreams for no other reason than they know they can now.

Do I really think that’s going to happen — no.

But is something to at least take seriously enough to think about.

The Scenario That Dare Not Speak Its Name


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I love scenarios. I also hate the idea of anything physical happening to POTUS, no matter who it is — even someone I keep calling an American Hitler like Donald fucking Trump.

The Scenario That Dare Not Speak Its Name.

Anyway, let’s run this one.

If Trump shuffles off this mortal coil, Pence becomes POTUS. But what happens to the Republican ticket? There are a number people Pence might pick. I think he goes with Ivanka Trump to “keep it in the family.” She’s moderate, she’s Jewish, she’s a woman and she a Trump. She seems the perfect veep to help Pence shore up those sweet, sweet excerb votes.

Other options are the obvious Nikki Haley and, gulp, Tom “Brown Shirt” Cotton. A long shot is maybe Eric Trump because he’s a Trump and doesn’t have the apparent and alleged drug problem that Don Jr. has.

Or, put it another way, don’t count House Trump out just yet.

Meanwhile, I would assume that the race will get far closer. Like 1976 or 2000 close. But at the same time, Pence has a traditional American pols adherence to democratic norms. So, things get a bit more tricky for MAGA-Qanon to go nuts on us.

But the key thing we have to remember is MAGA-Qanon is going to think that anything that happens to Trump is some sort of Deep State attack on the Dear Leader. They’re almost sure to blow something up or start running around murdering liberals because of this.

The point is — I want to defeat Trump politically. I want him to live long in prison with no access to the Internet and Putin and Ivanka his only visitors. Fuck that guy.

Don’t Panic


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

While I do think that Trump has been asymptomatic far longer than anyone has told us, I think, in real terms, he’s fine. He’s got the best medical care in the world.

Even if he should hand over control to Pence, he won’t. So, for the next 48 hours or so, we’ll going to be a nation without a leader. This is a a very bad situation for Pax Americana, but lulz. Everything is very stupid.

We should be able to muddle through things like we always do. I just am not prepared to entertain the idea that this is not simply a speed bump on our way to either autocracy or implosion.

And I continue to have a lot of concern about the possibility that MAGA-Qanon, which is already a racist, misogynistic conspiracy theory wrapped around a lie, may freak out and start blowing shit up if they think this is all a Deep State attempt to hurt Trump and the movement.

This whole situation makes me queasy because of that aspect of it.

Trump seems immune to history or accountability. So there’s no reason to think he won’t be immune to this, too.

Was Trump’s COVID19 Announcement A ‘Controlled Roll Out?’


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Something isn’t right about Trump’s announcement that he has COVID19. The sequence of events doesn’t make any sense. You mean to tell me that within a few hours of Hope Hicks getting it, Trump is just blurting out that he has it?

This leads me to a spectrum of possibilities. On one end we have this whole thing is a politically motivated hoax. Trump wants to juice the base by having them think he has COVID19. He doesn’t do anything for a few weeks, then pops out stronger than ever and wins.

On the other end of the spectrum, is something far darker.

Trump’s taken a turn for the worse in the last few hours and the controlled roll out of this news isn’t part of a hoax, it’s a way of slowly letting the country know that Trump is seriously ill. Like, Nearer my God to Thee sick.

That would explain why Bloomberg, of all media outlets, found out about Hope Hicks. She prepped the way for this particular crucial piece of information to “accidently on purpose” pop out.

I think the key to knowing what’s going on is what happens in the next 24 hours or so. If we have proof Trump is pretty much fine, then I’m more likely to believe he’s known he’s got COVID19 for some time and he’s just be asymptomatic. If he mysteriously goes dark for a the next few days, then we know Trump is actually really, really sick.

The one thing I’m extremely nervous about is the likelihood of significant political violence from insane MAGA-Qanon people who think all of this is some sort of Deep State plot to hurt Trump.

Why I think The Durham Investigation Is Going To Indict Obama (And Maybe Biden) Before Election Day


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

First, if you’re a MAGA-Qanon fuckhead who’s stumbled across this looking for Durham porn to stroke one off to, fuck you, you piece of shit. Just because my worst nightmare is your fucking dream, doesn’t mean I want you around. Please fuck off. I’m serious. FUCK OFF.

Anyway, Trump is never leaving office for any reason. He would rather destroy the whole country, burn it to the ground, then risk any type of personal criminal liability after he leaves office. Despite what Maria “Money Honey” Bartiromo has reported, Barr is going to pop out of his lair and either say some sort of criminal referral has been done for Obama (and / or Biden) or at least give out some sort of “preliminary summary” that highly suggests this. How prosecutors could actually get a jury to indict Obama given that the whole thing is bullshit is beyond me, but I guess it’s at least possible.

But the point of it all would be this — to hurt Biden fatally on a political level. If that didn’t work, then Trump would use the firestorm around frogwalking Obama as proof that you could never do it to HIM. He would get the racist satisfaction of seeing Obama indicted and protection against his own criminal problems after leaving office.

Of course, Barr might surprise us all and somehow really pull some shit out of his ass and indict Hillary Clinton as well. That would be interesting.

Anyway, I’m going to be shocked if this doesn’t happen very, very soon.

How Blue States Could Win A Second American Civil War / Revolution

Excuse the hostage letter level technology.


By Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I am growing very irritated with fucking Proud Boys and Boogaloos stroking one out to the idea of a second civil war or revolution. So the above is my attempt to prove a point — if they face an existential threat, Blue States have a lot going for them.

Be Careful What You Wish For, Putin


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

As the Russians can attest, sometimes wishing existential ill-will on your geopolitical foes can come back to bite you in the ass. The Germans sent Lenin to Russia in a sealed train at the advent of the Russian Revolution and their plan of knocking the Russians out of WW1 worked like a charm.

At least in the short term.

So, the argument could be made that Putin might get his short-term geopolitical goes should Trump cause the United States to collapse into civil war or revolution, long term, well, is a different story.

But, really, I think such speculation says more about my personal hopes for this impending clusterfuck. It’s very possible that we’ll just slip into autocracy, ally with Russia and that will be that. That definitely seems to be our fate as of right now.

Trump is never, ever leaving office for any reason. If we let him win using soft power post-election, then, well, I guess we deserve the fate we get.