Tag: Big Ideas

Turns Out, Everyone Online Just Wants 2012 Twitter Again

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

It’s definitely interesting how people are getting so excited about Threads when it’s just a less-feature-rich Twitter clone that happens to be fused to Instagram. That’s it. There’s nothing all that great about it –but for one thing: it has a a lot of people (already) the vibe is really good.

Just my opinion, folks.

That’s it — that’s all Threads has going for it — people and vibes.

It’s not like there’s any particularly interesting feature set that might make people choose it over Twitter. I mean, I’ve come up with a really cool, really feature rich social media platform that no one cares about, so lulz.

Anyway.

I suspect everyone should really just enjoy the good vibes while they last. Put enough humans in the same space virtually and all hell is going to break loose eventually. If I had to make a bet, I would suspect that it’s probably going to be Trump coming to the service that ultimately turns it into just another Twitter. Or, it might be a lot more gradual.

It could be that all the smug liberal infotainment types spooging their pants over Threads will gradually realize they hate it just as it becomes a Twitter clone on a vibe basis, too. People are so dumb. They act like This Is The End of Social Media History and they have nothing to worry about ever again when it comes to how hateful social media is. All they have to do is just use Threads and they will have an eternal 2012 to enjoy.

Ugh.

A Few Videos

A Theory Of The Case: Are We Experiencing ‘Soft First Contact?’

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Something…strange…is going on. It seems as though my Tik-Tok feed is full of UFO sightings just as Congress is taking the UFOs seriously. It’s enough to make you wonder if Something Is up.

And what might be “up” is something akin to First Contact…but in a very gentle way, ambiguous way. The idea would be to bust our cherry in the softest way possible so by the time Hard First Contact is necessary, we won’t be so spooked and scared by it all.

But all of this is EXTREMELY speculative. And, most of all, it brings up the question of, “Why now?” I have no idea if it’s actually happening, much less have an answer for, “Why now?” But the case might be made that relative to the metrics of some sort of galactic civilization, we’re heading towards something akin to the Singularity and, as such, we are ready for some sort of First Contact.

But I still find all of this very dubious. I guess I want something a lot closer to Hard First Contact before I will give all the bullshit being seen about UFOs here or there any credience.

….and just like that…

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Welp, it’s over. The Wagner Group is turning around and going home. Apparently, because of a deal brokered by the president of Belarus. It was all very exciting while it happened, but now we can go back to dreading Biden being impeached for something stupid in the near, near future.

I will note, however, that Putin has been shown to be very, very weak. This could be the precursor to something much bigger. Or not. Who knows.

Not me.

God Save Tsar Harry I?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Since the fall of the Soviet Union, Russia has just not really had a very strong sense of self. As far as I can tell, it hasn’t really even latched on to nationalism so much as a more personal, meh ideology of simple Putianism. That’s what I would credit with how lackluster the support for Putin has been since the Second Russian Civil War began a few hours ago.

So, if I was running the Wagner Group, I would really lean into giving people a reason to believe again. A bigger dream for them to become a part of. As such, I would say, “Help me overthrow Putin, and we’ll have a Tsar again.” Now, the issue is, who would be Tsar? There are a few “pretenders” to the throne who I don’t think anyone takes very seriously but, here me out, through Queen Victoria there is a person you could use — Prince Harry.

Now, this is very funny for a number of reasons, chief amongst them being the Wagner Group is a bunch of thugs and fascists and I don’t think they have it in them to do something as historically cool as put Prince Harry on the throne of new Russian Empire.

But that’s kind of besides the point — pick SOMEONE — to be the new Tsar and then say, “Ok, we’re going to bring back all the trappings of empire if we take power.” There are a few centuries of regalia and tradition established around Empire in Russia and I would tap into that. I would also definitely use that cool white-blue-white flag I’ve seen around some as the new flag of Russia.

I am not suggesting I’m an expert in Russia or Russia history, but just as a casual observer I have noticed that since the fall of the Soviet Union, Russia just hasn’t really had much of a national identity. And bringing back the Tsar would definitely fix that problem for Russia. If it was a *constitutional* monarchy, well, all the better.

How I Would Win The Second Russian Civil War — Bring Back The Tsar

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Please actively ignore this. I don’t know anything about anything, but I just have to get this out of my system. Thanks.

Ok, so, if I had about 25,000 troops, here’s how I would topple Putin. We know that Prigozhin and the Wagner Group controls the general Rostov-on-Don area while some of his forces are making their way to Moscow. Well, I would consolidate what I had in in Rostov and then start to expand from there. For me, the key thing would be to have a ready access to more men.

Also, I would think up some sort of ideology that might get people’s juices flowing. So, I dunno, I would say that if I took over Russia, I would bring back the Tsar or something. That’s the thing about modern Russia, as far as I can tell, it continues to struggle with it’s collective sense of self.

Bringing back a Tsar would definitely give Russians something to fight for again. He might even call his group The Whites or some such, to evoke what happened in the first Russia Civil War.

Anyway. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

Of AI….& Tik-Tok Reading Our Fucking Minds?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

It hasn’t happened that much recently, but Tik-Tok continues to seem to have a very…eerie…ability to pin down exact elements of my internal monologue. It’s all very curious. I’ve kind of learned to shut up about it, though, because mentioning my fears on this subject causes people to look at me funny.

But Tik-Tok continues to figure me out on such a specific manner — seemingly in real time — that there are two solutions to the issue. One, Tik-Tok has really good AI to the point that it can figure what’s going on in my mind simply from analyzing my usage…or it can fucking read not just my mind, but everyone’s mind!

I don’t think Tik-Tok is reading my mind, but I do think that however it’s figuring out what’s going on in my mind should be regulated — hopefully out of existence. What is the spookiest about what Tik-Tok does is the near-real time nature of it.

If what was going on was a general figuring out of me as a person, it wouldn’t be such a big deal. What is alarming is I think about something really hard and….then with 24 hours I get pushed some obscure thing on Tik-Tok that makes very clear reference to what I was thinking about.

Very strange. Very odd.

But absolutely no one listens to me. And if they did listen to me, they would think I had lost my mind. So, no. Like I said, I don’t think Tik-Tok can read my mind….but something…..strange…is going on.

What, though?

Making The Case For A Netflix — WBD Merger

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Now that we learn that Warner Brothers Discovery is thinking of licensing HBO content to Netflix, why don’t the two companies just merge? It would make a lot of sense. It would be a massive media powerhouse that could go toe-to-toe with The House of Mouse.

What’s more, then Paramount Global could merge with NBCUniversal (or something) and then all of America’s media would be owned by The Big Three (Except for Columbia studios, owned by Sony.)

I just don’t know enough about the companies involved, but just a back of the envelope thought experiment about a Netflix – WBD merger seems to make a shit ton of sense.

But, then, I’m always wrong.

The Weather In My Area Is Very Strange

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

It used to be, once upon a time, that that where I live in the United States had a certain rhythm to it. That rhythm is definitely gone now. And this is very aggravating to me because reality is very important to me since I’m bonkers. And I know what I’m experiencing is real — nature is acting is strange ways for some reason.

We need Little Green Men to help us out.

And that reason is global climate change.

And yet, whenever I bring this issue up to my family members — who I love dearly — I either get some extreme Right wing MAGA talking point or I get a shrug. They just do not, will not, address the issue at hand — we have to do something about global climate change NOW.

But because of the fucking MAGA cocksuckers who control the minds of millions of people, we’re just not going to do anything until it’s too late. Of course, if you wanted to get kind of wonky about it all, you might suggest that if we had — glup — a Second American Revolution that Blues instigated and won, then maybe we could fucking fix this particular problem.

I hate violence too much to take that option seriously though. So, I guess we’re just going to suffer. Or, more specifically, our children and grandchildren are going to suffer. I suppose AI or, I don’t know, First Contact, might somehow help us out….but barring Little Green Men landing on the front lawn of the White House….I think humanity’s goose is cooked.

Does The Flash Being a Dud Mean The End of The Superhero Movie Era?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

To every season, turn, turn turn. As such, it is at least possible that we’ve finally reached the end of the post-911 “If Only A Superhero Could Have Saved The Day” expectations of audiences. But what’s going to replace the Superhero Movie Era if that is the case?

I only ask this question because, apparently, The Flash was something of a dud this weekend — at least, relative to Hollywood expectations. My natural inclination is to think that Hollywood is going to, because of inertia — just drift until AI Generated Movies are good enough that, lulz, movies made by people will seem quaint. Like silent films once Talkies went mainstream.

And, yet, nature abhors a vacuum, so, it’s at least possible that the upcoming hard reboot of the Alien franchise might be so good that between now and our inevitable Her scenario future where we have a digital assistant who will make all our entertainment for us, that humans might manage to squeeze out a brief era of good scifi movies.

Maybe?

I wouldn’t get too excited, however. I think we’re just going to slouch towards a post-human Hollywood between now and, say, maybe 2026-2029. Remember, there’s a good chance The Fourth Turning is going to happen and all hell will break loose for a few years while we sort out if America will be an autocracy or not.

Anyway. Enjoy your human-made movies while you still can, I guess.