I know, in general terms, the arc of a six novel project. As such, I’ve been forced into a corner in a number respects when constructing the first novel. There are a number of characters that I want to introduce in the first novel so we get to see them grow and change over the course of the six novels.
One character I’ve come up with is a woman who is just out of college as we open the first novel in late 1994. In my mind, she looks a lot like this:
Sadie Sink
As the story told in the six novels progresses, she slips in and out of the lives of the main characters that populate the various novels. In the end, about 25 years alter, she’s a tough-as-nails FBI agent that gives one of the main characters in the last two novels no end of trouble.
She looks looks like this:
Jessica Chastain NEW YORK, NY – DECEMBER 04: Actress Jessica Chastain attends the “Zero Dark Thirty” New York Photo Call at Ritz Carlton Hotel on December 4, 2012 in New York City. (Photo by Cindy Ord/Getty Images)
I have an eye for beauty. And the Hollywood ingenue who has caught my attention recently is Elizabeth Debicki. She is freakish tall and yet drop dead gorgeous.
Elizabeth Debicki
It’s those legs, bruh. She — and those legs of hers — first caught my attention in Tenant. Man, oh man. Stunning. I wonder if she’s an actress who is cool with showing off her best asset on screen or if she is actually really modest and doesn’t like to show off her legs.
It’s a mystery!
Anyway. I wish her the best. I’m really short compared to her, but she’s still stunning.
First, let me be clear — it’s extremely flattering if *anyone* connected to Hollywood or the literary world is in any way looking at this blog. I’m so living in oblivion at the moment that just the hint of such a thing being possible is enough to make my week — month?
The President of Hollywood I only say this because of some rather odd pings in the depths of this blog, as if a lot is going on with the blog that I’m not seeing. I mean, why would someone give a shit about a whole page of me just idly talking on video in vague terms about a novel in this series? (The earlier you go in posts, the more likely the novel I’m talking about is actually the two novels that come from one big story that makes up the last two novels in a projected six novel series.)
But, I know this novel is getting really good. It’s really, really different and unexpected because it treats stripping in a rather matter-of-fact kind of way. It validates sex work in a non-salacious manner. Which, I think, will really appeal to women readers.
Things are moving really, really fast now with the third draft. I hope to lock down the first three chapters by no later than the end of the month. I’m still on track to finish the third draft by about April 1st.
Looking over my copy, however, I’ve noticed something — I have an unusually high number of female characters. Now, this isn’t all bad — women read a lot of novels — but, lulz, I’m a smelly CIS white male, a member of the patriarchy, if you will, and there will be a bunch of fucking woke Xennials who make it VERY CLEAR that I have no right to write from a female point of view as a man.
Ugh. Fuck that and fuck them.
All that should matter is I tell a good story. That’s it. I feel a little bit like Freddy Mercury with Boeheim Rapsody in that if you know the macro plot for the six novels of this project, then it makes sense for all these characters to be female. There is a method to my madness.
And I think I’m probably overthinking things some. Again, as long as I tell a good story I think the unusually high number of scenes where two or more women are talking about something shouldn’t be TOO much of an issue.
I am not perfect. I’m a pretty flawed person. I sometimes get drunk and rant on this blog and social media. But I mean well. In fact, the worst thing anyone ever said about me is I’m “a delusional jerk with a good heart.”
Anyway.
The point is — while I really love the premise of this novel, which a third party will inevitably boil down to “sexworker solves a murder mystery,” because I’m a smelly CIS white male who is telling the story….oh boy. If I was a transgendered undocumented Lantix woman then the “woke cancel culture mob” would probably be quite content with the story.
But, no, I’m a member of the patriarchy and, as such, I must be punished for “objectifying” and “exploiting” women by writing such a story, no matter how much I try to be compassionate and empathetic in its telling.
And, yet, I’ve got a great story on my hands — or at least in my mind — and I want to tell it. So, even though there is a good chance I’ll be “canceled” even if I do manage to sell this novel, it is better to have loved and lost than never loved at all.
I love to write. Writing is like shedding skin for me. I do it a lot without even thinking about it. And, for years now, I’m been VERY delusional about what’s going on with my first novel. I’ve allowed myself this luxury because I knew it was the only way I would ever actually finish anythiing.
And, yet, now that it’s clear that I’ve finally figured out the beginning of the third draft of this novel and I’m going to — hopefully — wrap it up by, say, around April 1st, I have to put on my big boy pants
I have to start thinking about querying.
The reason why this scares the shit out of me is multifold. One is, well, I’m a drunk crank who doesn’t always follow the media narrative on social media. I retweet a lot — A LOT — of pictures of hot chicks. I get drunk and rant about the importance of heteronormative monoculture. And I have been known to say I fucking hate the Bechdel Test. AND, WHAT’s MORE, my novel could easily be reduced to the logline of smelly CIS white male spends 140,000 words to depict a “sex worker solving a murder mystery.”
I retweet a lot of pictures of hot chicks on Twitter. None of those things endear me to the liberal women who often are literary agents. But I refuse to change anything. I’m going to accept the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, come what may.
I have a lot to consider going forward. I have to think about how I’m going to pay for a manuscript consultant to look over my copy. I have to buy AND READ a series of novels that I can “comp” my novel to, even though it’s a real struggle to consume anyone else’s content — and I’m a storytelling snob.
AND, all of this is happening the context of the rise of AI, the potential for a “Fourth Turning” in late 2024, early 2025 AND the very real possibility that my entire life could be thrown up in the air because of known unknowns.
I dig shit like this. And, yet, the whole point of starting a novel in the first place was to get outside my comfort zone and to see how far I could get in the process before it became absolutely, 100% clear that I would have to — gulp — self-publish.
But I would only consider that after a good bit of fighting to get published traditionally. And I might even be so stubborn that I simply but the finished novel aside until I can get something ELSE published traditionally and use the leverage that gives me to get my first novel published.
After way too long, I think that it is at last possible that I may — MAY — have figured out the basics of the beginning the third draft of the novel. If that is so, then things are on the cusp of going VERY FAST.
My heroine, in my mind, looks like a young Nicole Scherzinger. The reason is, I have finally — finally — figured out the relationships between characters as the story opens. I also have realized some issues about how to really drive home that our heroine is a woman who inhabits two very, very different worlds.
I sometimes worry that I may have an “Annie Hall” problem in that the non-murder mystery elements of this story may become so good as to overpower the murder mystery parts. And, yet, I don’t *think* that will be a problem because I’m just screwing around with the first act and the rest of the novel remains the same — at least at this point.
But I’m getting kind of excited. I think I’m on track — barring any number of known unknowns — to wrap this third draft up no later than, maybe April 1st? Maybe? I hope that’s not being delusional.
The latest episode of The Town evoked a strong reaction. I was stunned that the producer of the podcast stepped in at one point and said that he didn’t believe anyone would watch an AI generated movie. Oh boy. Talk about clueless. The guest on the episode, Justine Bateman, was totally spot on with a number of the points that she made.
The issue being — she’s right that SAG should have gotten a definition of what an “actor” is like the DGA and the WGA got for director and writer. The thing for me is we’re zooming towards an era in which 99.9% of Hollywood movies are AI generated. To the point that “artisanal” movies will be given special value. And it’s also possible that as such, Broadway and other live theatre will see a sudden surge in interest because of the “human touch.”
But, otherwise, the Hollywood of the future is going to be just Suits and Programmers. There will be no directors, writers or actors. Everything will be AI generated. It was heartening how much Ms. Bateman echoed a lot of the writing I’ve done on this blog since ChatGPT first came out.
And, really, I fear there’s not a lot that people like Ms. Bateman can do to stop the looming AI transformation of Hollywood. All types of entertainment and art will be totally “disrupted” by AI over the next 18 months. To the point that we might be having a “Fourth Turning” politically in late 2024, early 2025 just as we’re also having a “Petite Singularity” technologically.
Regardless, the next year or so could be extremely bumpy. Some pretty dramatic things could happen starting in late 2024, early 2025 that totally transformed the everyday lives of billions of people across the globe.
While it feels like I keep spinning my wheels with this third draft of the novel, something really intriguing is beginning to take shape. I *think* I may have come up with an interesting way to cause a lot of drama — my heroine has two men in her life.
I imagine my heroine looking like a younger version of Nicole Scherzinger.
Each one represents a different thing in her mind and heart. One represents the past, while the other represents the future. One represents the stripping part of her life, while the other represents the journalistic part of her life.
Or something. Something like that. It’s not a perfect fit, but just thinking in those terms is making my insight into the character a lot easier.
I’ve also of late been doing a lot of “outside the box” thinking about which POVs I use, which should come handy later on. I’m really giving people a sense of character when it comes to the unlikely “investigative team” by heroine ultimately assembles to solve the mystery she’s confronted with.
The key thing is I’m kind of in put-up-or-shut-up mode at the moment. I’m not getting any younger — Stieg Larsson dropped dead at my age — and I really, really need to push myself harder. I have to get into the second act as quickly as possible while still maintaining high quality copy.
And that doesn’t even begin to address how I want to dip into screenwriting now as well. But, lulz, I’m being delusional like always, I guess.
I’m a storytelling snob. So much so, that it’s now nearly impossible for me to consume anyone else’s story. But, at last, I believe I may — may — have at last stumble upon a beginning to my novel that actually pleases even me.
Now, remember, I’m not nearly as dark as my hero Stieg Larsson. And it can be a real struggle for me to play it straight — I like to plop in some humor every now and again. I just can’t help myself.
Anyway. It is at least possible that things will zoom along at a pretty fast clip now. I’ve had to grit my teeth and break or bend some of the dumb arbitrary rules I’ve been using to write this novel simply so I can actually finish something, anything.
I am embarrassed by how long it’s taken me to get to this point. I now hope to finish the third draft in the February – March timeframe. Then I will have to figure out how to pay a manuscript consultant to help me take the thing to the next level.
The case could be made that my heroine looks kind of like Pom Klementieff.
What’s more all of this will be happening in the context of the United States careening towards autocracy or civil war / revolution starting in late 2024, early 2025 — just as I plan on querying the novel!
But I have hope. I hope that if I can sell this first novel, I will somehow be given the opportunity to not only write the other five planned novels, but also a few scifi novels I want to write. And maybe, if I’m EXTREMELY LUCKY, a few screenplays too.
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