Tag: literary agents

Still Dreading Querying My Novel & ‘Comping’ It

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m something of a long-term, strategic thinker so even though I’ve not finished my first novel, I find myself dwelling how hard it will be to query it. My biggest concern is of course, that any literary agent who does “due diligence” on me is going to be aghast at how often I’ve gotten drunk and ranted about things that don’t quite jib with the mainstream media narrative.

My dream is to write a novel a popular as Stieg Larsson’s “The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.”

Another big concern of mine is how I’m going to “comp” this novel, given that I don’t actually read that much fiction! I just keep re-reading Stieg Larsson’s The Girl Who Played With Fire and when you comp a novel in your query letter, you’re SUPPOSED to comp — or compare — it to something a little bit more modern.

Ugh.

As such, I’ve forced myself to buy some novels that AI have told me are similar to Larsson’s work. I suppose I could read some of the more modern faux Larsson novels, but they’re so fucking bad. Though there is the most recent new one that has, in its own way, some of the same elements of my novel, so I might buy THAT one and use it as a comp to my novel.

I hope I’m not too bonkers to be a successful novelist.

Maybe.

Anyway, I’m feeling pretty good about where things stand. Now, I just hope the country I love so much doesn’t collapse into chaos because of “vibes.”

Write, Write, Write

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I wrote a great deal this afternoon wasted as fuck. I realize that is not exactly the greatest writing philosophy, so I need to kind of chill out on that front. But this novel is getting really, really good.

I’m very pleased with what I’ve managed to come up with.

But there is one issue — I’ve kind of forked the novel AGAIN. The novel is getting a lot better, but now that it’s forked, I can’t just go through an edit things. I’m going to have to tinker and rewrite and restructure things, which will force me to slow down a great deal.

Which, of course, sucks.

I’m trying to speed through things as quickly as possible and all this fucking forking isn’t going to get me to my goal of finishing the third draft by April. I just don’t know what to tell you — I’m trying to make this novel as quickly as possible but it’s just one of those things.

I hate to admit it, but I’ve felt a lot more creative drunk.

Well, *I* Think This Novel Is Getting Pretty Damn Good

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m in full swing editing and rewriting the first act of this novel as I prepare to get into the second act and things are going surprisingly well. Thinking about what I know about this novel in my mind, the big takeaway is it’s just not scary or twisted enough to be directly compared to, say, Gillian Flynn’s “Gone Girl” or Stieg Larsson’s “The Girl With Dragon Tattoo.”

But, even I, who have EXTREMELY HIGH expectations for any story, have to admit that this is shaping up to be, if nothing else, a really entertaining yarn. It’s the kind of story that will suck the reader in pretty fast just because they will want to see how I have a part-time sex-worker solve a murder mystery, if nothing else.

And, yet, I am so blasé and matter-of-fact about that element of the story, that I’d like to think it will be a unique twist to what people will compare it to — the “hooker with a heart of gold” and “sexxy, slutty assassin” tropes.

But there’s one thing I know — you just can’t win. If you take any risks, you are BOUND to somehow, someway offend a small, vocal minority of the audience who will be mad specifically because a smelly CIS white male dared to do anything other than stare at the ceiling and twiddle their thumbs.

So, I press forward.

I still need to work on a backup novel or two. But it’s tough. It’s really tough.

Modern Gender Politics & Pop Culture Are So Fucked Up

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

There is a small — but vocal — group of the reading audience that simply can not, will not, validate the idea that I, as a smelly CIS white male, would, at times, write from a female POV in this novel.


And it’s only going to get worse the moment they learn my heroine is a part-time stripper.

And, yet, fuck it, we’ll do it live.

I am so matter-of-fact about the sex worker side of things that I think, within the context of the novel, that it won’t be seen as too terribly gratuitous. It’s just there’s a lot –a LOT — I can do with the whole stripper side of things to make the story really interesting and enjoyable so, lulz, why not.

And Barry — which dealt with an equally surreal professional life — was a success. But that was a comedy, so, I suppose it’s not a one-to-one.

And I am well aware that someone might steal a creative march on me, given how long it’s taking me to write this damn thing. As such, I really need to start to work on some backup stories.

Squaring The Circle

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I had a bit of a conundrum on my hands today about how I was going to proceed with the development of the third draft of this novel. I finally figured out what to do — I’m going to start from the very beginning of the second act.

Maybe I’ll write a break out hit novel and it’ll be adapted by Hollywood.

I’m going to go through and read everything and fill in those scenes that I have to fill in. This way, I have some sense of where the act is beginning and don’t have to risk getting waded down in the first act. I won’t waste a month trying to make the first act “just right” before working on the second act.

Anyway, I’m pleased with the plan I’ve come up with. I have to not think too much about the convergence of AI and XR technology that may make all my hard work on this novel….quaint and moot.

I think I have a pretty good chance of at least being able to query this novel before America either turns into an autocracy or has a civil war / revolution.

If You Ain’t Got Haters, You Ain’t Poppin

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I usually make at least one person REALLY MAD randomly and by accident at least once a year. I’m overdue for someone to scream at me in a really personal way, as if they take personal offense to me being a listless daydreamer.

I assume whomever this person is, will be mad at me writing for years about a novel that I’m writing. That seems to be just the type of thing that some rando stranger who is paying attention to my life would get mad about.

And that doesn’t even begin to address what might happen if I magically somehow sell this novel I’m working on and I get even the barest amount of attention. There might be a LOT of people angry about my drunk ramblings. Or, maybe not.

Most of my drunk ramblings are center-Left in nature, so it’s probably going to be some drunk thing I did in Asia that ultimately destroys whatever success I might have because I wrote a novel that is as popular as The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. (That’s a delusional dream at this point.)

And, yet, who knows.

Maybe, just maybe, it will all be a lulz and people will breeze past my colorful life in Asia.

About To Sprint Forward (Soon)

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m just about to sprint forward with the “Fun & Games” part of this novel. I’ve been doing a lot of constructive daydreaming the last few days in an effort to figure out how to game the rest of the story out. It’s been really, really tough.

But I do think if I just let this process play out that I should get to writing full time again pretty soon. I was kind of sweating it there for a moment until I realized what the problem was. There really wasn’t so much a problem as I needed to go into aggressive daydreaming mode so once I left it, I could throw myself back into writing again.

As all of this is going on, of course, I realize I need to do a lot more reading and watching of TV — and develop other projects. I don’t want to be left holding the back if someone — God forbid — should somehow steal a march on me story wise and I have to fall back to some other project from scratch.

I don’t know when everything is going to sort itself out, but it should be pretty soon. That’s the plan, at least.

Well, When It Comes To This Novel I’m Assuming Nothing TOO Bad Will Happen In Late 2024, Early 2025 In America

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

So. If all goes according to plan, I’m going to start to query my novel in some capacity in late 2024, and MAYBE as late as early 2025. As such, I’m working on the assumption that the country will be stable enough for that to be a viable option.

So, I may write a lot about The End Times for the USA, but in a practical sense, I’m totally ignoring that possibility. I am doing this because, as I keep saying, all my “hysterical doom shit” is simply me trying to make my abstract fears concrete.

I just don’t know if The Fourth Turning is really going to happen. In fact, I generally don’t think it will. I do think that Trump is probably — at this point at least — win the 2024 election and 2025 could be mass chaos. And, yet, if enough smug Twitter liberals leave the country on their second passport…meh. Maybe that will mean people will be more interesting in read a novel that is part of a six novel project that is pretty much just one long screed against extremism (using subtext.)

Or not. Who knows. All I know is I’m pressing forward with this novel, even though there is definitely a part of me that is….concerned…about the next 18 months and beyond.

Revamping The ‘Fun & Games’ Portion of The Novel For The Third Draft

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

It has occurred to me that I have changed so much of the first act of the novel that I have to change the rest of the novel to accommodate those changes. As such, I am trying to give each of the investigators in the story that have a POV a “beat” that they cover.

This really helps clear things up a great deal and keeps the novel focused on a structural basis. But doing so means I pretty much have to start the Fun & Games portion of the novel (the first half of the second act) from scratch. I have some general ideas from the Second Draft, but the Third Draft is going to be, in some respects, radically different just because of all the changes I’ve made in the first act.

But, in general, I’m really pleased with what I’ve come up with in the transition from Second to Third Draft. Yet I do think I’m going to kind of chill out for a day or so to think about the exact nature of the Fun & Games part of the novel. I need to make this story a lot more clear, focused and engaging if I have any chance of pitching it to a literary agent.

At least I see the problems that exist, instead of making a fool out of myself when I try to query.

Even More Angst About Querying My First Novel

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

So. Here I am, well on my way to wrapping up an alpha release of the third draft of my first novel. As such, I really need to take the idea of querying my novel sometime in the fall of 2024 more seriously. There is a chance, of course, that it might be about a year from now before I query for various reasons, but I hope things don’t come to that.

But it’s really nerve wracking having to think about the nuts and bolts of querying my first novel. It sure would help if I had some quirky “in’ to the industry that allowed me to speed the process up. Yet, at the moment that is just a daydream on my part.

The entire system of trying to get into ANY form of showbiz is designed specifically so you can’t get into it. That’s why having a connection to the showbiz industry you’re interested in can be crucial. And, of course, there is the fact that I’m 100% extroverted and I often get drunk while I’m using the Internet.

It’s not like I can go back in time and change things. I am who I am and I am WELL AWARE that anyone literary agent doing due diligence on me might be dismayed by what the find. My experience with manuscript consultants was a real eye-opener — some of them wouldn’t even give me the time of day because they thought I was below them in some way.

And, yet, I have wanted to query a novel from the very beginning of this years-long process. And, so, here we are — there is going to come a point when I have to leave the delusional phase of this novel and enter a new, more serious and fact-based part of the project.

It’s going to suck.

To make myself feel better, I’m probably going to look into having a few backup, second track stories for Just In Case. My goal, my dream is to be a professional creative writer from here on out, for the rest of my life. But sooooooo much can go wrong as I try to make that dream a reality.

But I just have to roll with the punches.