Tag: Thousand Year Trump

Confronting My Own MAGA Stockholm Syndrome


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

We live in surreal times. We have an autocracy without the autocrat. And, so, while it’s very possible Trump may go transactional on Twitter in an desperate, last-ditch effort at self-preservation, it definitely seems as though there is, in fact, going to be a Biden Adminstration.

Because Trump is doing everything in his power to make it seem as though he’s not going anywhere, when he finally does leave office it’s going to be a very surreal moment in our nation’s political history.

I hate the Trump Administration with a white hot rage — so much so it’s inspired me to write a novel — and I haven’t even begun to believe that the autocrat may have, in fact, lost. This happened because Trump isn’t an autocrat, but rather an craven ding-dong, but whatever.

Anyway, the point is, we’re all in for some rather surreal days of political change when we all have to admit to ourselves that our long national Trump nightmare is, in fact over.

Now, let me put this into context — we are going to be very, very lucky if we just drift into the Biden Era. I am still not prepared to believe Trump isn’t going to somehow remove a pound of flesh from us as a nation on his way out. If he does that, then we wouldn’t just “drift” into the Biden Era, we would be pushed.

The first few days of the Biden Administration would be us all processing whatever horrific thing Trump did on his way out. I hate to say this, but it’s beginning to become a real possibility that Trump may hunker down in the White House and, gulp, chose Hitler’s Gotterdammerung exit rather than risk going to jail.

Or, put another way, we’re going to know soon enough if Trump is no longer thinking about things in political terms, but rather exclusively in personal terms. If Trump finally snaps and all his decisions are made solely on personal considerations, then the end of the Trump Era may be so shocking that it will dwarf even 9/11.

What exactly might happen, I don’t want to think about. But I have a few ideas of how dark and tragic things might get — especially if Trump won’t leave the White House we have to go in and get him out.

Anyway. Be prepared.

#ETTD: Republicans May At Last Say, ‘He’s Gotta Go’


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The thing about Trump is he has such an absolute control over the Republican base that he could have become an autocrat in the traditional sense, but didn’t because he’s just a ding-dong. And I’m hearing a lot of people on Twitter suggest that Trump is the precursor to the rise of an autocrat who would finish the job Trump began.

We’re living in a Stephen King novel.

I generally agree with that sentiment, but for one thing — what if Trump between now and January 20th grows so unmoored from reality that he, at last becomes a liability to the Republican establishment in such a way that they at last turn their back on him, that they at last say, “He’s gotta go.”

What would that even look like?

Well, it seems to me that this would not be some sort of liberal fever dream where Rachel Maddow somehow becomes president. No, it would be such an epic crisis that it would scar Americans for a generation. Whatever the crisis was would be, in itself, a “political 9/11.” It would be so bad that the entire ground to a halt and we were given minute-by-minute discussion of events on CNN or MSNBC. And, remember, the 25th Amendment is a dead letter. It just doesn’t exist in any practical fashion, so we would have to impeach and convict Trump to get rid of him if things got all that bad.

For Republicans to finally, finally, finally, finally, finally, FINALLY, cut ties with Trump, it would have to be existential. Like, maybe he starts a war with the DPRK and we all think we’re going to die from a limited nuclear exchange with them. Something that big.

Or, put another way, Trump would have to become so wrapped up in staying in office that he totally and completely gave up any prospect of running for office again in 2024. The reason is — Mitch McConnell is a creature of power politics. For him to become interested in some sort of snap Impeachment that led to conviction, he would have to think the very existence of the United States was seriously at risk.

I have my doubts that even Trump doing crazy things like whipping his cock out or tweeting the n-word to Obama would be enough for #MoscowMtich. Trump has just over a month left in office, so #MoscowMitch would simply shrug and wait things out.

So, whatever Trump did would have to be REALLY BAD. So bad that it would be mentioned in the same breath as Watergate AND 9/11. And, honestly, the only thing I can think of is a war of some sort. And while Iran is the most obvious target of such a war (Mike Pompeo thinks Trump is the anti-Christ and would force Jesus to come back if such a war started) it definitely seems some sort of an attack on the DPRK would fit the bill much better for Trump.

The reason is — if Trump was completely insane, he might see a major regional war in Northeast Asia as such a massive distraction that he could pull a Constitutional fast one on us. Though, to be fair, the US Military — unlike the American public — can walk and chew gum and the same time so they would get rid of him. But Trump is growing so crazy that it’s at least possible he might want to risk such a gambit.

And, honestly, the only thing that may be stopping him now is he’s not a political genius and he likes Kim Jung-Un on a personal level too much. It just would never occur to him to do such a thing. He’s really not very smart.

It’s therefore possible that Trump will do everything in his power to destroy as much of the government as possible on his way out — maybe even thrash about in some sort of coup that goes nowhere — and in the end he just won’t leave the White House. And that will be the extent of these last few surreal days.

The ‘Patriot Party’ As Existential Threat To The Republic


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

For the moment, The Patriot Party is more an expression of MAGA frustration that the person they thought would murder American democracy — Donald Trump — was less Hitler and more Chauncy Gardner than anything else.

What MAGA-Qanon-Patriot Party cucksucker shitheads want is, essentially, an American Nazi Party. They want a party that is so absolute in its fidelity to the Dear Leader that any member with any power will break the law rather than let anyone but a member of The Patriot Party take power.

That’s why Trump’s ding-dong “soft coup” to date hasn’t been successful. Republicans still have just enough respect for the rule of law that even if Trump attempts to get them murdered, they stand up to him. The Patriot Party would work hand-in-glove with Trump or whatever American Nazi who happens to pop up in the next few years.

So, in the guise of The Patriot Party, MAGA feels they would get what they haven’t gotten from the Republican Party to date: such absolute partisan allegiance to the autocrat that they destroy American democracy.

But for the moment, this is just a vague inclination among MAGA. It would take Trump joining The Patriot Party for it to really take. Or something. The Republican Party make simply turn into the Patriot Party before it’s over with. Or maybe American democracy will again limp along as the Republican Party implodes for an election cycle.

While we’re in a very dangerous place politically right now in America, unless some sort of “political 9/11” happens, the frustrations of MAGA will remain just that for a few more years.

Chauncy Gardner Doesn’t ‘Cross The Rubicon:’ Government By Ding-Dong


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

MAGA these days craves autocracy. In fact, one could say that’s the central issue of the moment — Trump was supposed to be an autocrat, and “not lose.” And so, when he didn’t do what everyone thought he would do — be an autocrat — it’s left us all, both me and MAGA, in something of a daze.

Trump really is Chauncy Gardner.

That’s why we’re careening towards an extremely surreal moment in American political history. We’re an autocracy without the autocrat. All the conditions are there, but Trump is a ding-dong. His power comes from being a pure avatar for the rot and rage found within the American political system.

But, weirdly enough, Trump really is nothing more than a deranged Chauncy Gardner of “Being There” — he’s so lazy and incompetent and stupid that he simply can’t give his followers what they want: an autocracy. Hence, his followers beg him to “cross the Rubicon” and take “total control” but he’s just not up to it. And, in a sense, it’s too late.

If Trump had struck in some autocratic fashion right before or right after election day, then he probably would not only be cruising towards a stolen second term, but he probably would have goaded the Blue States into a secession crisis which would have given him the ability to reconstruct them in his own image.

Which, of course, is exactly what MAGA-Qanon-Patriot Party cocksucker shitheads want, NOW. It’s a very surreal event that if you take Trump seriously as a political Great Man, him being an idiot has saved American democracy to fight another day. We all overestimated him.

This is not to say he still can’t cause trouble.

Have to be an autocrat to “not lose.”

There’s a decent chance he may finally go completely fucking insane at some point between, say, Jan. 6th and Jan. 20th and do all kinds of accidently-on-purpose autocratic things on his way out the door. He could go transactional on Twitter. He could demand that Red States leave the Union and have “real” America have its “real” president…maybe with a capital in Montgomery, Alabama?

But that’s a wildcard at the moment. It definitely seems as though besides a huge tax cut for plutocrats and hundreds of young, hack MAGA judges the Trump Era could be pretty much entirely value-free. The country will continue to be 48% Blue and 48% Red, but for the time being have something akin to a functioning, if weakened, democracy.

As such, what the MAGA-Qanon-Patriot Party cocksucker shitheads want — an autocratic strike that causes a civil war — will still happen, just in about four or so years. It won’t be Trump, it’ll be Tom Cotton or Mike Pompeo who finally strangles American democracy.

Or, put another way, once Trump is out of office, there’s a chance that American politics will snap back into place in a rather surreal fashion. Republicans will try to use Jedi mind tricks on the American populace so they can go back to bad faith arguments about this or that contrived kerfuffle as though we’re back to Obama’s second term. The massive hypocrisy of this won’t work on a lot of people, but it will probably work with enough people for Democrats to lose the House and Biden to be impeached as soon as possible.

I have no idea what is going to happen in post-Trump America. But I do suspect it’s going to be extremely surreal because when Trump had the means, motive and opportunity to murder American democracy…he went golfing.

The Strange Case Of Everyone Wanting A Second American Civil War


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

This blog gets very few hits, but I’m getting a growing amount of traffic from people obviously interested in my dystopian hellscape scenarios about some sort of Second American Civil War.

What gives?

Well, this seems to be a pretty complex question. Some of this comes from a number of macro political trends coming to a head at the same time. The rot in the American political system — exemplified by rise of Donald Trump — is so bad that growing number of MAGA-Qanon-Patriot Party cocksucker shitheads on an abstract level want the opportunity to murder “libtards” in cold blood.

The question, of course, is why.

I think some of it comes from the absence of something — Trump actually being an autocrat. When MAGA-Qanon-Patriot Party cocksucker shitheads voted for Trump in the first place, they thought they were getting the guy from The Apprentice. They thought he would be an autocrat who would destroy American democracy once and for all and put globalist cucks in their place.

Alas, as has been proven repeatedly over the last five-odd years, Trump is NOT an autocrat in the traditional sense. Trump has autocratic impulses and he has a lot of power by just, well, being himself, but he’s not a leader and he’s really just a lazy, incompetent ding-dong. If you want my proof — all I have to do is point out that had Trump struck in an autocratic fashion right before or right after the election, he probably would be cruising into a stolen second term. What’s more, there probably would be a civil war or secessionist crisis because at that point, Blue States would be so upset that they would leave the Union. This would give Trump the legal cover to take over Blue States, reconstruct them in his own image and give the MAGA-Qanon-Patriot Party cocksucker shitheads the autocracy they so crave.

But, guess what! Trump’s an idiot. A lazy idiot.

So, while Trump is an avatar for the rot of the American political system, he doesn’t have something that Hitler had — an actual willingness to force the matter as necessary when politics got in the way. It’s because of that absence of focus on Trump’s part that I have come up with all these pretty simple ways Trump could stay in office as long as he wanted….only to have him not do any of them because, well, he’s a ding-dong and not an autocrat.

And I think that’s the source of a lot of people who come to the site’s curiosity — they know a martial law, secession and civil war SHOULD be happening right now….but it’s not. And they can’t figure out what happened. They’re so busy sucking Trump’s cock and fucking their guns that they don’t realize that Trump simply isn’t the autocrat they wanted.

This is not to say that such an autocrat won’t arise. There are about a half dozen people waiting in the wings to complete the process Trump has started. The ironic thing is, Trump is such an idiot and wants all the power but none of the responsibility that for the time being, he’s freezing out Tom Cotton or Mike Pompeo or whomever from becoming president in 2024 and doing all the things that MAGA-Qanon-Patriot Party cocksucker shitheads believe should be happening NOW.

It’s still possible that Trump is going to lose his fucking mind and somehow start a civil war. But the thing that MAGA-Qanon-Patriot Party cocksucker shitheads don’t realize is they don’t actually live in Russia. Trump can’t just tweet that we’re under martial law and good old boys can now start murdering liberals Purge style without any consquences.

There would have to be some reason, some catalyst for martial law to be declared and Trump has waited so long that if he did try to take “total control” at this point, first the U.S. Military would ignore him and second soon enough Joe Biden would be legally POTUS and, well, fuck you, you fucking cocksucker shitheads.

So, it’s still possible a civil war could break out any moment (I guess.) But it’s just not going to happen the way MAGA-Qanon-Patriot Party cocksucker shitheads think it would.

More likely, this is the beginning of a process that will lead to a civil war at some point between now and, say, 2025. But I can’t predict the future. Who knows.

How A Second American Civil War Could Happen Now


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

We have to get some things out of the way before we talk about this — Republicans have no shame and MAGA longs for a Russian-style autocracy. And in the eyes of MAGA — by definition the only legitimate election victory is one where Trump supporters win.

Another thing we have to appricate is — something about Obama’s second term drove Republicans insane. They completely left reality. This happened probably because it sank in that America is changing and they would rather destroy democracy than allow those changes to effect changes in our power structure. Add to this the growing economic power of women and the associated sexual agency and, well, lulz, they want an autocracy.

So, let’s talk about a second American civil war.

The first issue is Trump blew it when he didn’t strike before the election was called by the media. And, so, that’s the real crux of the issue — if Trump was the autocrat I thought he was, then the civil war we all think is going to happen would have already have happened. Trump would have driven Blue States out of the Union, used the Insurrection Act and then re-organized them under some sort of MAGA Reconstruction.

But because Trump isn’t an autocrat but an idiot ding-dong, we are now careening towards an extremely surreal situation where what shouldn’t be happening — Trump leaving office — is actually going to happen. So many Republicans have invested their entire life, career and identity into The Thousand Year Trump the fact that Trump is leaving office is going to causing them significant existential angst.

Let’s get to the point — how could a civil war break out NOW? All I got is Trump goes completely fucking insane and, as such, goes transactional on Twitter. For an actual civil war to happen, Trump would have to demand Red States to attempt to leave the Union. That’s all I got. Then we see if MAGA Republicans really are willing to jump off the cliff at the direction of the Dear Leader.

I have no idea if this is actually possible. But it is a real possibility. As such, that would be the civil war. That would be the opportunity for Good Old Boys in the Patriot Party to murder liberals in cold blood. Yet, because it would be Red States not Blue States leaving the Union, the issue of race would come to the fore. Blacks simply are not going to do nothing if there is an effort to leave the Union by whites in the South.

So, instead of any sort of Trumplandia being established, you’ll just get a fucking race war.

All in all, it’s tragic and sad that so many people would actually WANT a fucking civil war. What is wrong with you fucking cocksuckers?

The Upcoming Jan. 6th Congressional Electoral College Certification Shenanigans


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I don’t know what to make about this one. A lot of MAGA Twitter has pinned its hopes on January 6th now. They believe that all their problems will go away when Congress refuses to seat Electors they don’t like. Trump will win the election that way and MAGA can go back to putting kids in cages and owning libs who say “fuck.”

But there are some serious, serious, SERIOUS problems with this.

So, here’s what will happen under the best of circumstances for MAGA shithead cocksuckers. Someone from the House and someone from the Senate contests a slate of Electors.

The two Houses go back to their individual chambers and debate for two hours. At the end of the two hours, they vote with a simple majority winning. Here’s where MAGA dreams of four more years run into a brick wall.

Not only do Democrats have a solid majority in the House, but the Republican leadership in the Senate is actively opposed to such a ding-dong move. So, there are several reasons why all of this is damaging and disturbing.

The first is, it forces the Republicans to AGAIN be on the record about wanting to overthrow the election. Or, put another way, while will likely help a lot of the more insane MAGA Republicans with the base, the fact that the more moderate Republicans have to make a decision that is recorded is not great.

The next is an expectations game.

As we grow closer to January 6th, Trump is going to AGAIN put all his eggs in a basket that is going to break. He’s going to lose, but his followers who are willfully ignorant at this point, at least have the prospect that they MIGHT win — despite the fact that they definitely won’t — as way to “own the libs” a few more days.

It also again lets the know who is with them and who isn’t. This time, Senate Republicans will get roped into this seditious clusterfuck.

And, lastly, there’s a good chance that once Trump loses this final attempt to overturn the election, he will snap in some way and go transactional on Twitter. This, combined with the deflated nature of MAGA at that point, will lead to either some sort of snap secessionist crisis (because Trump is ranting about this on Twitter now) or just rolling political violence because, you guessed it, Trump has gone transactional on Twitter and is “joking” about the need for MAGA to remind people of the power of the 2nd Amendment.

But let me remind you of something — I, and many other people (Maggie Haberman) greatly overestimate Trump’s practical political acumen. In fact, he’s just a lazy, incompetent ding-dong. Any political violence or secessionist crisis or civil war that happens will be stuff that would have happened anyway, he just is the avatar for the specific set of events.

Gen. Mike Flynn’s Sedition Crazy Train Express


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

So. General Mike Flynn. His latest suggestion is Trump order the U.S. Military to force “redo” elections in various states he lost. This is dumb, dangerous and problematic for number of reasons.

Now that the Electors have voted, I just don’t see how Trump could order the U.S. Military to do such a thing. To call Flynn’s suggestion a pipedream is to give pipedreams a bad name.

But what he suggests does give us some sense of what a dangerous period in American history we’re in. There are people on the Far Right who are so wrapped up in MAGA that they have completely lost sight of what’s going on. Their devotion to Trump is so absolute and so disconnected to reality that it’s nothing more than a political grunt.

Trump good. Liberals bad.

That’s it. That’s all they got.

Flynn — who I think is Trump’s Russian handler — is telegraphing to Trump want the Russians want Trump to do in the name of destroying the country. But what may be really going on is an expectations game.

The Russians through Flynn hope that if MAGA expectations are raised enough that when they, at last, have the Great Disappointment, that they’ll start murdering people and blowing shit up. It seems as though such a “Great Disappointment” might happen sometime between January 6th and January 20th.

That would be when a number of things align — Trump may go transactional in his craziness and MAGA people will finally flip the fuck out because there’s simply no way for Trump to win….or “not lose.” But, again, I struggle to imagine any situation where there’s a secession crisis.

And if there was, it would only be Mountain states with small populations and no black people. Such a secessionist crisis would definitely give good old boys in the old CSA political boners, but, alas, black people in the South are simply never, ever going to sit back and let a bunch of Cooters bring back the CSA.

You thought the fight over Confederate statutes was bad — just wait until the battle is about Neo-Confederacy!

So, fucking cocksucker shithead Neo-Confederates can stroke one out to the “South Shall Rise Again” all they want to, but the Dear Leader totally bungled this situation. He has waited to late. And not even January 6 shenanigans will save them.

Of ‘The Patriot Party’


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

In a sense, the Republican Party is down low imploding. On one end of the spectrum, you have conservative NeverTrumpers openly talking about starting their own party. Meanwhile, MAGA hates the Republican Party so much that it wants to start its own “Patriot Party.”

It seems to me that the Patriot Party is more about the fire next time than it is anything going on right now. The goal of a “Patriot Party” would be that it would be an honest-to-God fascist party that would completely ignore any law or norm that got in the way of them obtaining and maintaining power.

But there’s an immediate problem with this. One is, if you slice the MAGA base from the Republican Party, then the rump Republican Party is far more likely to snap back to some semblance of being a “normal” party again.

At least for one election cycle.

The long-term consequences of a Patriot Party would be the United States would finally turn into the autocracy that MAGA wants it to be — and it would be, but for Trump being a total ding-dong and not an autocrat.

So, I guess in a sense, what I thought would happen — a civil war now, has just been punted down the road to sometime between 2023 and 2025. Or not. Trump could still lose his fucking mind and go transactional on Twitter between now and January 20 and somehow cause the United States to buckle into severe political violence.

All I can say is — fuck you, MAGA, you fucking cocksuckers.

The Fate Of The Mueller Report in Post-Trump America



by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

One of the many examples of how short-sighted everything and everyone in the Trump Era has been is how suddenly we face the prospect of the full Mueller Report popping out once Biden is president.

Now, let me be clear — Trump is going to get away with all his crimes, no matter how big. There simply won’t be any political will to do anything about anything he’s done be it on a state or Federal level. There will be a lot of talk about New York State crimes, but in the end, even there, Trump’s crimes will go down the memory hole. In large part, this will happen because of significant threat of violence, if nothing else.

The only reason why I want the full Mueller Report released is it would be, in a sense, the final closure for the Trump Era. It would be a value free way of giving people like me some sense that we have, in fact, put Trump behind us for the time being.

Its release would be totally value free because Trump will be out of office and, as such, the MAGA cocksuckers on Twitter can simply shrug and say, “So what, he’s not president anymore.” But, at least, we’ll know the truth. Trump’s collusion with the Russians will be a modern day version of Iraq’s WMD — it will take 20 years for some people to admit the truth, but they finally will.

But I guess there’s a chance that we’ll never see the full Mueller Report for various political reasons. And, again, Trump is never, ever going to see justice for any crime he’s ever committed. He’ll be a former president and he probably will have pardoned himself, anyway.

And even the hint of State crimes being looked into in any real sense will likely lead to significant political violence. Though there is a wildcard — if Trump does, in fact, refuse to physically leave the White House, that might make people so angry that for a brief moment the political will do bring Trump to justice might, just might, exist.