Jesus, this sucks. Due to a very freak set of circumstances, I find myself with a broken right ankle. The only bright side to any of this is it’s not like I broke my arm, hand or wrist.
The current state of my right ankle.
I can still write.
And, for the time being, I’m definitely encouraged to write and read because it’s extremely difficult for me to do much of anything else. Just tonight, I’ve managed to prove to myself that I can, in fact, just listen to music and write because if I don’t I grow very, very bored and frustrated.
As such, for the time being, I’m going to spend ever more of my waking time working on these four novels. Though, I will admit, my current run-in with the medical system has me again thinking about a novel or screenplay I have rolling around my mind that is pandemic relatedly in its theme.
But, for the time being, I’m just going to focus on these four thrillers I’ve been working on while dabbling in the screenplay concept I’ve discovered I work to work on as well.
In my mind, this would be very much a Prince-type song. Maybe Janelle Monae would sing it? But it would be a fusion song. Something sultry and R&B, but with a bit of rock edge to it.
Land Without Bears lyrics by Shelt Garner @sheltgarner please give credit if you produce or perform
it’s cold in our bed cold as the poles it’s a land without bears the moment you flip back the sheets I feel the need to strip
land without bears it’s as chilly as can be land without bears land without bears land without bears things are about to change though when you’re with me
I can feel the heat where it counts things are getting damp from the melt I’m getting slippery just watch your step wouldn’t want you to fall to the floor unles you’re there to roar
land without bears it’s as chilly as can be land without bears land without bears land without bears things are about to change though when you’re with me
(bridge) we give each other a bear hug until we can’t bear it anymore things are hot as can be we’re free of the ice from before take a dip in the sea that is our love, baby
land without bears it’s as chilly as can be land without bears land without bears land without bears things are about to change though when you’re with me
This is my lyrical homage to Katy Perry’s musical oeuvre of songs that just barely are not novelty songs. But, really, this is just meant to be a fun pop song that any mainstream female vocalist could sing. It’s mean to be a fun little song about a really hot woman who is dating a Pete Davidson doofus like guy with a amusing name. Fergal (I Love You) lyrics by Shelt Garner @sheltgarner please give credit if you produce or perform
I know the big bad boys make fun of your big old noggin say you’re the red headed step child but when you hold me tight I feel like I’m living in the sea living in the sea living in the sea (if you know what I mean)
cause no matter what when I’m feeling in a rut all I have to do is take your hand as we make our way to bed with one thing on my mind Fergal (I Love You) Fergal (I Love You) Fergal (I Love You)
just ’cause you’re not as rough or as tough as the boys on TV doesn’t mean you don’t make me burst the seams of my dress with the heavy breathing that can only come when you and I go running in the dark not knowing where it’ll all end
cause no matter what when I’m feeling in a rut all I have to do is take your hand as we make our way to bed with one thing on my mind Fergal (I Love You) Fergal (I Love You) Fergal (I Love You)
(bridge) know you think I’m too good for you but whenever we kiss I feel inscure afraid I’ll awake on morning and you’re gone then I open my eyes to see you lying next to me and it was all a bad dream cause you know no matter what Fergal (I Love You) Fergal (I Love You) Fergal (I Love You)
Fergal (I Love You) Fergal (I Love You) Fergal (I Love You)
These lyrics seem to lend themselves to something Kacey Musgraves might sing about. One More Drink lyrics by Shelt Garner @sheltgarner please give credit if you produce or perform
here’s to one more drink where I let it sink in that this time you’re gone for good no more smiles before bed no more sighs rolling around my head instead of being by your side here I am, just drinking rye
one more drink to let it sink in one more drink before I head out into the night for a little bit of sin one more drink one more drink one more drink
once you were mine tight as can be what did I do to cause you to flee I guess it was the lying and the laying with others when I should I have been with you watching the sun rise
one more drink to let it sink in one more drink before I head out into the night for a little bit of sin one more drink one more drink one more drink
(bridge) I’m sober now at least I think I’m trying to ween myself from your love ’cause here’s the rub unless I get some help from heaven above it’s not coming back
one more drink to let it sink in one more drink before I head out into the night for a little bit of sin one more drink one more drink one more drink
Just letting off some steam. I still know nothing about music. So, this is just a lulz. Overtime lyrics by Shelt Garner @sheltgarner please give credit if you produce or perform
sometimes you gotta make do putting it all on the line gotta stay away from your lover to make enough to spread that butter but when you come from work we all know you’re going to make love rather than overtime
working overtime for your love working overtime to rock your pulse working overtime working overtime
they say the older you get the less you love but you and me know that’s wrong we got it going on between the two of the sun shines bright even in the middle of the night making love rather than overtime
working overtime for your love working overtime to rock your pulse working overtime working overtime
(bridge) when it’s dark and quiet we stop working and let our souls meet we reach for each other under the sheets working overtime, overtime, overtime for our love
making love rather than overtime making love rather than overtime m making love rather than overtime
working overtime for your love working overtime to rock your pulse working overtime working overtime
Say what you will about Trump, he definitely can come up with song titles. Broken Old Crow lyrics by Shelt Garner @sheltgarner please give credit if you produce or perform
can’t fly anymore my heart is almost still I’m nothing more than a broken old crow
I once could touch the sun but that’s long gone now I’m nothing more than a broken old crow
wish I could return to what once was to a time and place of my making when the sky was blue and there I roamed before the darkness fell and I was left broken and old
can’t fly anymore my heart is almost still I’m nothing more than a broken old crow
I once could touch the sun but that’s long gone now I’m nothing more than a broken old crow broken old crow borken old crow
(bridge) in my heart I’m whole young and free don’t you fret that’s who I am when all is said and done no one can catch me now
but then I awake and realize I’m nothing more than a broken old crow broken old crow broken old crow
I have a pretty good system for management of the development of a big storytelling project established. It’s taken me about three years to get here, but I finally have a pretty good system.
One of the reasons why I find myself interested in screenwriting is it should be easy for me to retool that system from writing novels to writing screenplays. The hardest part at the moment will be learning Final Draft. The actual development of the story is far easier than that I know how *I* develop a longer-style story.
I already have a general idea of the plot of this screenplay and its themes tap into my general, lingering rage over MAGA that the same dynamic that was at work with the initial development of the four thrillers I’m working on should be in play with this screenplay.
But, as of the moment, all I have for sure down pat with the outline is the very beginning and the climax. Other than that, I’m at a loss right now.
And that doesn’t even begin to address the issue of learning Final Draft. But I hope that I’ll be so excited with a finished outline that when I get to the point where I want to start writing on the screenplay, I’ll be able to use brut mental force to learn Final Draft.
At least, that’s the hope.
I have a huge amount going on creatively at the moment, which is what I want. The main focus has to be on the thrillers, though. It’s just, sometimes, I need to let of some steam doing something totally different that uses a slightly different part of my mind.
I’m still very interested in fashion photography, but getting the equipment has been far, far slower than I expected. So, for the moment, occasionally dabbling in screenwriting is it.
One of my favorite books is “The World According To Garp” and in it, we learn that Garp’s literary agent has a “secret weapon” — his office’s cleaning lady. She’s the person who read Garp’s mom’s feminist manifesto and loved it so much, giving the agent some sense of its potential.
I’ve kept that plot point in my mind since I first read it many, many moons ago as a young man and I’ve gone out of my way to find just an average person to bounce novel and movie ideas off of to see what they think. The latest incarnation of this secret weapon is the young woman who cuts my hair.
I told her the plots of the four thrillers I’m working on and she was quite impressed. This made me very happy. So, I decided to try again when I got my hair cut today and gave her a broad outline of the screenplay I’m currently mulling.
She really liked the third act, which is currently the most developed part of the story. I’m even more determined to see if I can develop this specific concept into something I at least won’t be embarrassed by — the same metric I have been using for the thrillers I’m working on.
She liked the premise of the story even though it subtly belies my liberal-progressive leanings on an existential basis.
But I still have a lot — A LOT — of work to do. And I am going into this side project knowing I have the severe headwinds of Hollywood agism, where I live and also my general Twitter reputation as nothing more than a crank.
So, I’ve got my McGuffin and I’ve got a general plot. Now, the thing I’m struggling with it how I might toy with gender expectations with the characters I’m thinking up in my mind.
I like the idea that that my Hero has a lot of “potential” as the story opens — much like Luke Skywalker — but his Princess starts off as a tough as nails broad who helps him become the man he always could be. I guess that’s pretty much every Hero’s Journey, but I like to think I’m following the old saw of “Tell an old story in a new way or an new story in an old way.”
I’m really trying to follow the beat structure of A New Hope with this first attempt to write a screenplay. Since I have four –4! — thriller novels to work on, for the time being, this screenplay is just what I work on when I need to burn off some steam.
I’m not going to get too wrapped up in making the first draft perfect. In fact, at the moment, I don’t even know how to use Final Draft at all. That’s something I’m going to have to work towards. But I do actually own it, so once I figure out how to use the software, I can hopefully just sit down and start writing.
But to get that point, I need to flesh out the outline I have. I really like how with a screenplay you have some very strict beats you need to meet. I find that very freeing. I don’t have to re-invent the wheel. I just think up my beats for the outline and when I get to them, I pull the trigger.
The universe I’ve come up with is pretty cool. The screenplay itself has elements of Alien, Logan’s Run, The Time Machine, Star Wars and any thriller movie where a McGuffin is involved. But it’s also meant to have a pretty strong romantic element to it which would be the heart of the story.
But I have noticed, even this early in the process of development, that by making gender expectations more modern, the story is flowing a lot easier. The trick is, of course, not to be so “woke” that no one wants to watch it. You see, Olivia Wilde, there is this thing call “subtext” where you can preach all you want to and not alienate every CIS white male in existence.
As such, my Hero starts off a lot like Luke Skywalker, but by the end of the story he and his love interest throw themselves into the future as equals. I think audiences will really like that.
As of right now, things are moving really fast with the development of this first screenplay. A lot of this comes from my white hot fucking rage against MAGA and how this screenplay, like the four thrillers I’m working on, help me feel some agency when it comes to striking back at those fucking fascists.
I’m not a violent man, so, like the Little Drummer Boy, I can use my one talent — the ability to tell a damn good story – to fight MAGA at least in my own mind, if nothing else.
I’ve stumbled across a minor obstacle –what to do at the midpoint.
At the midpoint in your story, you’re supposed to have a false victory or false setback for your Hero.
At the moment, I honestly don’t have either one of those. But I still have time. I like the dynamic I’ve established between my Hero and his love interest. My Hero is very much inspired by Luke Skywalker, but in such a way that he feels a lot more modern.
It helps that the character is pretty much based on ME, too, but not in a bad way. I’m just taking elements of my own personality and running with them in such a way that hopefully it’s interesting and entertaining.
Your Hero is NOT SUPPOSED TO BE YOU. So. that’s another element of development I need to think about. I really like the universe I’ve constructed, now I need to figure out how to force my hero and love interest to be forced to run around it in a way that helps the audience see it.
I’m beginning to dread having to write a sex scene. But, I think as my first screenplay I’m going to grade myself on a curve when it comes to things like that.
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