Tag: Gawker

Generation Tik-Tok & A Vision For A New Gawker-Like Blog



By Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Now, I’m not saying that I would be involved in this in any way, but just doing a back-of-the-envelope study of what I see in my Webstats and here’s my suggestion for how to start a successful new blog.

The first thing you would have to do is realize to manage your expectations. Blogs are dead. Apps are dead. We’re all in a holding pattern while we wait for the kinks to get worked out of the Metaverse.

And, yet, I think if you flipped the script some on your traditional blog that maybe, maybe you could pull it off. But you would need a wealthy patron to help you with the backend and marketing. Here goes, though.

My magazine in Seoul.

If you were actually going to try to start a new Gawker-like blog now, you would really have to focus on celebrity news. But here’s the catch — you would need two or three people on staff who would simply use Tik-Tok all day and then turn around and write stories about what trends they saw. Tik-Tok would set the blog’s editorial agenda.

As such, right now, such a blog would be doing profiles of Julia Fox — or, hell, even turn her into the blog’s de facto mascot like Julia Allison was with the original Gawker way back when.

The point is — the reason why the undead Gawker is so meh right now is it has no spunk, no snark and it’s not laser focused on what Generation Tik-Tok is interested in. That’s the thing I’ve noticed about the new, undead Gawker. It just seems kind of indifferent to what’s really going on with pop culture.

If you want to be a pop culture media outlet, you have to be on the cutting edge of what people are talking about, and by definition, that means you have to be obsessed with Tik-Tok.

Anyway, the point is — you use the pop culture element of the blog to hang all the rest of the blog’s content on it. Come for the Tik-Tok meme talk, stay for a snarky feminist polemic or maybe a sexxxy snap of Julia Fox doing whatever it is that Julia Fox is doing at any particular moment.

This is just me mentally masturbating on a Sunday morning. I have no money and, hell, I don’t have any friends. I guess I occasionally get frustrated because I know, given the opportunity — and resources — I could probably bring back the spirit of the old Gawker with a new blog.

A Drunken Autopsy Of Undead Gawker — Or, There’s A Metaverse App For That



by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m kind of drunk, but cognizant enough to give you my hot take on undead Gawker. The issue with undead Gawker is it’s trying to solve a problem that doesn’t exist — I don’t know about you, but I get 99% of my content passively on Twitter these days. And, what’s more, the very thing that made the original Gawker both great and problematic — snark — has so become a part of Twitter culture that, lulz, undead Gawker is moot.

The Best of The Old Gawker

And, really, I don’t even know if my go-to solution to this moot problem — turning undead Gawker into a really cool Twitter clone with a paid staff — would even fix the problem. That ship has sailed. That window of opportunity is no more.

In fact, I would go so far as to say the entire content production universe is kind of in a holding pattern until the kinks are figure out with the Metaverse. Blogs are dead, if you will. Apps are dead, if you will. There’s just nothing going on right now.

It is simply impossible for undead Gawker to bring back the glory of the hateful old Gawker because that moment in media history has past. For Gawker to exist at all is a self-indulgent nostalgia circle jerk. Now, because I have a huge ego, I believe if they would like me write for them that I would at least make things interesting in my little corner of its online presence.

I may be a kook, but I’m at least a thought provoking kook. I’d be a really cheap hire and would love to do crazy, nutty things simply to get attention. Though, of course, either I would have to work remotely or they would have to pay for me to crash on someone’s couch in Brooklyn.

This reminds me — if I ever somehow magically found myself living in New York City, I would start up a zine again. It would be so much fun to see if I could create a successor to the Village Voice. The process of starting a new print zine is so much fun, especially the handing it out ot strangers part. I would stake out the New York Times building and hand the zine out, hoping one of their writers might like it so much that they wrote about it.

Bring back zines! And someone help me move to NYC! Wink.

Jesus Christ can I be a delusional dreamer at times. But one man’s delusion is another man’s dream, I guess.

Anyway, the point is, in a sense, undead Gawker is like undead Newsweek. It’s coasting off the fumes of its namebrand without much point. The old Gawker live in moment in time when blogs mattered. That moment in time is over. Bring on the Metaverse!

A Modest Proposal: A Blog (Or Podcast?) Devoted To The Rise of Fascism In The US Is Needed


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Absolutely no one listens to me. And I don’t have any money. But I do have vision and passion. I keep wanting to start a blog (or podcast?) and absolutely nothing ever comes of it. And, so, this is just another failed attempt at the moment. Until it isn’t.

There is a very specific beat, the “doom shit” beat, that I think needs to be covered extensively by a blog (or podcast.) If I could get New York Magazine or undead Gawker to either give me a job writing about this particular troubling situation or if they could just do it so I could read it, either one would be fine.

But, I’m a nobody. An absolute nobody.

I miss the old Gawker.

And, yet, my gut tells me that if you founded a blog (or podcast?) hyper focused on things like Steve Bannon’s podcast, or any number of other horrible trends floating around, I feel it would be a success.

I think I’m going to try to contact places like undead Gawker and New York Magazine to see if I can at least get them to hire someone, anyone to cover this beat so I can read their stuff.

Struggling With The Idea Of Submitting A Short Story To Gawker


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

So, I saw on Twitter where Gawker is accepting fiction of up to 5,000 words. I would be a such a thrill to get the validation associated with getting a short story published on Gawker.

And, yet.

It’s something of a cliché within my own mind is haters who say, “Why don’t you just write a short story” when they grow frustrated with how long I’ve been talking about writing a novel (or, now, novels) without anything to show for it.

First — those people can fuck off.

Second, however, it would be fun to have a diversion that required a tight in and out of storytelling. I have a number of ideas in my mind that could be turned into a screenplay that I could instead convert into a short story.

On one hand, the validation of getting anything published would be great but it would be far overshadowed by the thing on the other hand: my almost inevitable rejection.

So, I dunno.

A Hot Take For Undead Gawker: Is Canada A Real Country?


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Editor’s Note: I can’t tell if Undead Gawker is boring or if the snarky milieu of the OG Gawker has so permeated our mainstream culture so much that…meh. But the following is all in good snarky fun and it’s the type of post that would get people talking if my dream of a Modern Political Gawker every magically came into being.

I sometimes find myself thinking — is Canada a real country? The reason why I ask this is Canada is so nationalistic compared to the United States that it’s almost like they know they’re not a real country. The “country” of Canada hides its insecurity about itself via being really nationalistic.

Let’s look at what Canada is more closely. It’s not really a nation-state. It’s more of two nations force-fused together with some leftover land above the United States tacked on. What race is to the United States, language is to Canada. There’s a reason why Canada defines itself as being NOT the Untied States. They don’t really have much of an identity otherwise because of the Anglophone – Francophone divide.

In a sense, North American geopolitical boundaries make no sense in the context of geography. What North America SHOULD look like is a huge French Canada that comes down through the center of the continent and reaches the Gulf of Mexico. The United States should be a small — but powerful — country that resides from Maine to about North Carolina.

Why this didn’t happen is, well, the French weren’t all that interested in North America and so the English speakers were able to plow through the middle of the continent, leaving the rump remains of New France and the parts of America that remained loyal to the crown.

But is that a real country? Defining yourself by what you’re NOT is kind of a strange national identity. What’s worse, the United States is so big that should we have another civil war, it’s very possible that this particular issue will solve itself.

You’re the real MVP.

If the United States should, say, split into the rump Blue USA and Trumplandia, it’s easy to imagine Blue USA gobbling up Canada so Blue States remain contiguous. This would happen regardless of what Canadians felt about the matter.

Another issue that faces Canada is global climate change. It’s very easy to imagine 50 years from now the United States finally invading Canada for its “resources” which, in this case would be the resource of livable land.

So, is Canada a country? I guess so. But it’s more a construct of the modern world that started about 1865 when America figured out that whole slavery thing. Once the United States realized it had the Wild West to settle and the “Dominion of Canada” wasn’t all that interesting, it’s position as a “country” was finally established.

God save the Queen!

The Vision Thing: My Pitch For A ‘Political Gawker’


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

A lot time ago, Ana Marie Cox ran Wonkettte. It was a sister blog to Gawker in NYC. It was really fun and was known for its coverage of one particularly sordid Capitol Hill sex imbroglio.

Anyhoo, that was a lot time ago. Wonkette was sold and the last time I checked it was so over the top in its political coverage as to be something of a more serious version of The Onion. Gawker, meanwhile, died from hubris. Then came back. Then died. And now is back in a undead form

I’m completely consumed by this blog’s Webstats and, as such, I’ve noticed a minor uptick in traffic for one specific reason — a lot of other people besides me have our looming autocracy or civil war existential choice on the brain. To me, it seems obvious that there is a sweet spot out there in the aether for a blog that would sort of be Wonkette-Gawker-Spy in nature.

It would take both seriously and literally Trump and the entire shit show that is the modern MAGA New Right. People like Jesse Kelly and his “Welcome To The New Right” catch phrase would be our meat and potatoes. We would attack that fucker — and people like him — with all the snark at our deposal. And this new blog would wallow in pacing out what is going to happen in the late 2024 – early 2025 timeframe in regards to autocracy or civil war.

I say “we” only as a rhetorical device. I have tried — and failed — repeatedly to start various new blogs over the years (usually about 1 a year in August). And I’m just not going down that route again. I really — REALLY want to wrap up four novels sooner rather than later and I’m just not going to divert my attention away from that massive project.

But.

If I could get someone with some business sense to join forces with me, I could be convinced to narrow the amount of time I work on those four novels. I have the experience and vision to build the editorial side of a “political Gawker” up from the ground up. I don’t know shit about the business side and would only throw myself into such an endeavor if I could find someone with the money and business sense (and shared political vision) to help me out with the basics of starting such a blog.

And, yet, I’m realistic. I don’t live in a big city and all this writing about this subject is hence very moot. I would love to write for the new, undead Gawker in some capacity, but I don’t live in NYC and, lulz.

I keep telling myself I’m going to stop writing about this particular dream, then I turn around and write about it some more. I think this summer dream will burn itself out by late August. If I can just get a few URL hits from NYC or LA that would be enough to make all this verbiage entertaining.

I have a lot of experience in writing in the Gawker-style (see below) and it’s kind of a shame that just because I have no friends and no one likes me that I can’t find someone, anyone, to be my business partner for something that would probably be quite lucrative and influential.

ROKing Sinchon with Jenny 8

Jennifer 8. Lee likes food.

A lot.

Recently, I hung out with the New York Times reporter and her friend Tomoko Hosaka of the Wall Street Journal here in Seoul.

The plan was for her to go to a jimjilbang with Annie Shapiro and ms. tiff, but that didn’t work out. Tomoko wanted to go to eat “Korean barbeque” and since Annie and Tiff are veggies, they were left out. This story was supposed to be about Annie and Tiff taking Jenny to a jimjilbang and getting all nekkid – now that would have been funny – but there are no happy endings in Korea so you get this write-up instead. I took a picture of the two ladies at the restaurant, but they wouldn’t let me use it. I generally think taking pictures of yourself with famous people is kind of lame, so you, gentle reader, will just have to settle for a picture of the fortune cookie I was given. If Annie and Tiff had done the story, maybe the situation would be different.

On the way to the subway, Jenny kept stopping to eat stuff from street vendors. I had to DJ that Friday night and we had to go all the way across town, so I was starting to stress out a little bit.

Again and again, she would ask me what this or that food was offered at street vendors as we headed towards the subway station. I had no clue. “I eat because I have to, not because I want to,” I told her finally. What else could I say? I

The fact that I met her is a testament not only to this wacky Internet age that we live in, but how being an expatriate in a place like Korea has its quirky advantages.

I met Jenny ’cause I, well, picked on her middle name online. When I first came to Korea I had way too much drunken spare time on my hands, so I often found myself in bouts of soju-fueled writing binges.

“I can not stress enough how odd it is that Jennifer Lee uses an ‘8’ for her middle name. It’s just totally unheard of. It’s like one of the

columns of Western civilization has suddenly become just a little unstable,” I once wrote. “I don’t care that her name really is ‘Jennifer 8. Lee.’ In

years gone by, an editor would have taken one look at it, eyed the flask of Jack Daniels in his desk drawer then said, ‘Look, kid, I don’t care how

lucky the damn number is, you’re going by ‘Jennifer Lee‘ from now on.'”

Her middle name is a lucky number in Chinese culture. How exactly she was able to keep it in her byline eludes me. The fact that she graduated from Harvard University may have something to do with it.

When this actual famous reporter out of the blue contacted me, it both made me very happy and very nervous. She contacted me because she had read some of the shit I had written about her online and she needed some help finding Chinese restaurants in Korea. She’s on sabbatical from the Times to write a book on, like, the best Chinese restaurants in the world or some such. The first time she contacted me, I suddenly felt kinda bad about all the pointless mental masturbation I expended on her.

It’s funny how you can talk shit about a famous person online, but when you actually meet them you treat them like you would anyone else. While she’s no Maureen Dowd, in some media circles, Jennifer 8. Lee is, in fact, “famous” or “notorious.” For people who read Gawker.com, Jenny is shorthand for a reporter who writes seemingly pointless trend stories about things like “man dates.” She had the odd habit of using the phrase, “people of my generation” in a very authoritative tone, like she literally was speaking for everyone her age. “Jenny, you’re younger than I am,” I said teasingly at least once over galbi.

She actually has a rather bubbly, cute personality. My lone meeting with her did leave some1thing of a mystery in my mind — how is it that someone who, in the words of one article “causes $148,000 in damage to her Washington condo” actually be quite nerdy? What the heck does she do? She is obviously an extremely smart woman and from the little mischievous glint in her eye I can see how she probably loves to host a great party. But like all the great reporters I’ve known, she didn’t seem like much of a extrovert. She was quiet and curious about everything.

I picked her up at the Ritz Carlton. When I met her, she handed me a fortune cookie, while I handed her a copy of ROKon. “Fortune cookies are actually originally from Japan, not China,” Jenny said. It was a huge fortune cookie. It looked like a piece of found art. “I’ll either eat it when I’m drunk or crush it when I’m drunk,” I quipped.

I took the women to Sinchon to my favorite Korean restaurant. I go there so much that I’m like a part of the family. Tomoko seemed a bit uneasy hanging out with little old me, while Jenny was a good sport. I wanted to get Tomoko drunk to loosen her up a bit, but she had an early morning date with the DMZ.

At one point, I felt kinda bad for Tomoko. She’s a fairly important journalist in her own right, and all I did was talk to Jenny.

“I know you went to Harvard, Jenny,” I said invoking the “H-bomb” without meaning to, “But where did you go, Tomoko?”

“Northwestern,” she said with just a touch forlornly.

We talked a long time. I talked up ROKon, while the ladies were more interested in the food than anything I had to say. They’re an intense bunch, those two. I told them about knowing another Wall Street Journal reporter, Lina, but neither of them knew her. They were perplexed that they didn’t know her ’cause she has some connection to the Washington Post. Jenny acted like if there was an Asian who worked in any capacity at the Post, she would know her.

I had of vision of taking Jenny to Nori People and being able to see her shake what her momma gave her to my musical selections, but it was not to be. Jenny couldn’t stay. I did take Tomoko and Jenny there just to show it to her. “Oh, this is fun,” she said. You have to give those New York Times reporters credit, they are an observant bunch.

They left a lot sooner than I’d liked. As I said, I had all these grand plans to show them what a fun time we ROKon staffers were. Jenny promised to show me around New York City if I ever happened to end up there. The more I look at that fortune cookie, though, the more it looks like something that rhymes with “Mulva.”

By SHELTON BUMGARNER

ROKon Magazine Editor

Watch Me Channel Lester Bangs: Undead Gawker Is Boring


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m day drinking rye on my way to working fleshing out the outline of the first of four novels I’m planning, so think of this as me channeling Lester Bangs while I psyche myself up to my attention to the main event.

In short, I’m drunk and writing.

Anyway, the new Gawker is boring. It has an element of spunk to it, and, yet, not one of the article headlines I glanced out just a moment ago was enough to make me sit up and take notice. Sometimes, you need to be ornery. We live in such surreal times that if you had the backing to start a new blog like the Undead Gawker, I would pull out the stops.

Find a few young obsessives — or maybe an old obsessive like me? — and tell them to rant. They would get traffic through marketing and buzz. Now, here’s what I would do if I was in charge Undead Gawker. I would very carefully study the site’s Webstats and try to glean what, specifically was catching the most people’s interest then I would attack that subject with the strangest, snarkiest hot takes I could possibly pull out of my ass.

You know what Undead Gawker reminds me of right now?

Radar Online.

Give me a blog format, a jug of rye, access to Undead Gawker’s webstats and an expectation of 10 solid posts a day and I could put that site on the map. I know what makes Twitter liberals tick. I know their internal media narrative. I can make bankshot references to cultural touchstones that every Twitter power user knows.

The point is: fucking hire me, Undead Gawker.

Ugh.

Anyway, this rye tastes nice and the novels I’m supposed to be working on are looking more and more attractive.

Undead Gawker Leaves Me Very Frustrated


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Ugh. Seeing undead Gawker is beginning to eat away at me because I know I could really help them out, given the opportunity. What I feel like doing is obsessively writing about the site until they take notice and let me write for them in some capacity.

I would love to cover the Civil War Or Autocracy Beat.

And, yet, I don’t know. I do have four novels to develop and write. It seems like a huge waste of time. If I were to go the “Leave Britany alone” route, it would be just because my frustration got the best of me.

The point is — now that we’re (maybe?) coming out of the Rona era, there may be a first mover advantage for a blog to cover this new era we are entering. I’m the perfect person to start it, but only in the context of having a business partner. Given I’m apparently the most ghostable person on the planet, I need to just buckle down with the novels.

The thing I want — to either work for Gawker or found my own Gawker-like site, just isn’t going to happen. Or, it will only happen if something rather spectacular happens, like I win the lottery or something.

So, lulz, I need to focus on the four novels I’m developing and writing.

A Modest Proposal For A New Blog


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Now that we have had 24 hours to look at the soft-reboot of Gawker, and it’s obvious that my personal media tastes have moved on from the Gawker of yore. Besides my gripe about the new Gawker’s layout (it’s not really a blog), I feel kind of sad that none of the posts are as spicy-hot as the old Gawker’s. The whole thing is well done and interesting, but…not really viral-worthy.

This could change, of course, but it got me thinking.

Most of the traffic for this blog is coming from searches of people obviously worried about an impending civil war in the United States. My gut tells me that if I could find someone with some business savvy (read, money) and I wrote actual journalistic articles that were laser focused on pondering what appears to be our never-ending march towards the choice of autocracy or civil war (probably around January 2025) that you would have a recipe for some sort of success.

I could do it, but I have no money and no friends.

You get people hooked by long, interesting posts about how this or that recent event seems to indicate we’re closer to autocracy or civil war, and keep them hooked with weird articles like, “Is Tik-Tok Reading Your Mind?” and “Is Taylor Swift A Virgin?”

In the past, this would be the point when I would get frustrated, buy a URL and struggle for a few days to make this dream a reality. But, lulz, I four novels to work on.

So, I don’t know, maybe someone contact me about this? Or, hell, someone else can start this type of blog so I can have something to read?

The New Gawker Is Great, It’s Just Missing One Thing: ME


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The original Gawker got me through a very dark time in my life so I’ve always had a sentimental attachment to the site. The site has come back and it seems fine. I could see myself reading it on a regular basis. I struggle to see how they’re going to differentiate themselves from, say, New York Magazine though.

One way they could do that is to hire me!

I have a very old-Gawker sensibility. I like to look into weird concepts in weird ways for weird reasons. I did a great job with ROKon Magazine in Seoul for the the few months it existed in late 2006 to early 2007.

And I know the beat I could cover for them — the civil war or autocracy beat. Most of my writing on the subject to date has been rather vague for no other reason than I’ve just been letting off steam. But just the barest amount of money to write on the subject would cause me to throw myself into producing actual journalistic articles on the subject.

Julia Allison, the icon of the Old Gawker.

I would also love to get paid to do an actual investigation into my lingering fears that Tik-Tok is reading our minds. That would be a lot of fun to poke around in a silly, semi-serious manner.

One big concern I have is, are Websites moot? I know for me, at least, I get almost all news passively off of Twitter. That’s it — if there’s news, I get it form Twitter. For the New Gawker to work, it would really need to be bonkers and interesting — two things I definitely bring to the table. (Wink.)

Anyway, I wish them luck, no matter what. I have a novel or four to work on, so I’m not holding my breath that they’ll listen to — or care about — the voice mail I left them tonight about this very thing.

What I bring to the table.