I often think that if, one day, I manage to scrounge up the money to visit LA for a few days that I might find unexpected success just by being myself. I could totally see myself randomly being invited to a cocktail party, getting lit and before the night was over have a three picture deal line up.
Don’t hate.
The usual caveats about all drunks thinking they’re the funniest person in the room, apply, of course. But from what happed to me in Seoul, I know that under the right conditions — usually involving alcohol — I can be quite interesting and charismatic.
I’m a very good at schmoozing when I’m drunk, in other words.
And, yet, at the same time, I continue to struggle to find someone I can pay to talk to about the novels I’m developing and writing. The very people I need the most at the moment — literary types who I need to pay on occasion for a as much as an hour of their time.
They think I’m a kook. They won’t take me seriously enough to even let me pay them to help me on my novel(s.) It’s very aggravating. I can’t help that I don’t fit the Very Serious Literary Type paradigm.
But it’s not like I can change now. I would have to not only get a brain transplant, but scrub about 25 years worth of online activity to boot. So, I just have to factor this particular prejudice into my game plan as to how I’m going to sell as many a six novels.
Annie Shapiro and me, back when I was cool.
The thing about writing a spec novel is you just have to believe in yourself. You just have to keep going even if haters want to make you feel bad for what you’re doing. As long as you feel compelled to write and have something to say — keep going. You never know, somehow, someway, things might break your way in an unexpected way.
That’s what I learned with ROKon Magazine. In the end, of course, everything that went wrong with the magazine was my fault, but there was a moment, in late 2006 when I was actually cool and I was able to use my strategic thinking to guide the magazine to places that no one could have predicted.
First, let me some things out of the way. I’m drunk as I write this and so I’m venturing into something potentially extremely controversial because I feel like being a bit more frisky than normal. And, in this specific case I’m using a very narrow definition of “woke.”
So, I’m not attacking the #MeToo movement or anything like that. And I’m a CIS white man and shouldn’t even be talking about this. I know. I get it. But, as will become clear, there’s a specific reason for all of this to begin with.
The Center Will Not Hold
Ok, what prompts this post is something I saw on Tik-Tok. A gorgeous young woman was complaining about the cancelation of The Victoria’s Secret Show and how she still had dreams of walking it one day. This got me thinking about how wokeness is, in a way, limiting women’s choices by not giving them the option to, say, to walk the Victoria Secret runway if such a thing is potentially an option for them.
And, let me be clear — I know about how problematic the ownership of Victoria Secret is and I know about how Fenty is, in a way, replacing Victoria Secret and working within the context of the “woke agenda.”
Ok, Ok. I get it.
I guess what I’m really bemoaning is how it seems that to be woke, by definition means to no longer believe there is any cultural center where traditional things like, say, a beauty pageant or the Victoria Secret runway show simply have no place in the world.
This is relevant because if you actively allow identity politics to deconstruct the “center” you are fueling the rage of the very people the “woke cancel culture mob” hates the most — the MAGA New Right. If there was any way for us to square the circle and say, “Yes, you can have a Victoria Secret runway show in the post woke era, if that’s something you’re interested in” then a lot of Traditionalists who are now all-in with MAGA might at least think about moderating their stance a little bit.
Great book.
It just seems to this middle age CIS white male — who should be rarely be seen and never heard — that the reason why there is something of a crisis going on in the Western world at the moment is you’re limiting what women can do in the name of being woke. If you’re a hot, young woman, then walking the Victoria Secret runway is something you dream about, something you really want to do.
You shouldn’t take that away from her in the name of “wokeness.”
But, of course, that’s exactly what’s happening. We’ve entered a new era where there is no “center” in pop culture anymore and the United States is careening towards a very, very, very dark fate where there are only two options: autocracy or civil war.
Now, let me be clear — barring something totally unexpected, what I propose isn’t going to happen. My continued fears about America either turning into an autocracy or having a civil war around 2024 – 2025 remain in place. But the book How Democracies Die, suggests if we were really serious about saving American democracy, we would seriously contemplate a 2024 Unity Ticket.
At the moment, that Unity Ticket would be Cheney / AOC 2024. If Mike Pence wasn’t such a fucking coward, I would put him at the top of such a hypothetical ticket.
And there would be a lot of problems with such a Unity Ticket, no matter what. Just because Twitter liberals would spooge their pants at such an idea, doesn’t mean the woke Democratic base would be all that thrilled. But the whole point of a United Ticket would be everyone would be unhappy for the common good of at least punting the possibility of autocracy or civil war down the road one more presidential political cycle.
But even if you could find the gumption of doing a Unity Ticket, you would have to get past Bannon’s planned “administrative coup” he wants to pull off in 2024.
So why even entertain such an idea to begin with?
Because it’s right there in front of us. If we really, really want to protect our birthright as Americans — that of at least wanting to live in a democracy, even if we live in a “constitutional republic” — a Unity Ticket is a quick and easy way to do so. You would have to have some sort of power sharing agreement in place that would make the Federal government act extremely schizophrenia, but, again, you would be saving the American democracy. Maybe allowing it to survive long enough for us to figure out how to fix the rot at its core we’re currently living through at the moment.
But for any of this to happen, something big would have to change. Biden would have to decide not to run. Enough Democrats would have to stop worrying about their pronouns long enough to sit up and take notice about how dire our situation is at the moment.
So, lulz, I don’t really expect this to happen. It’s just a daydream. It’s something that makes sense on paper, but is unlikely to ever, ever happen.
These days, you hear a lot about how much our democracy is in peril. Add to this the fact that about 38% of the electorate doesn’t believe we’re a democracy in the first place and, well, lulz. As we approach the first step in our decent into the existential choice of autocracy or civil war, here is what we can expect when we finally are, in fact, no longer a democracy.
The Great Liberal Brain Drain When it becomes clear that we’re no longer a democracy, probably at some point in late 2024 to early 2025, many, many, many wealthy liberals are simply going to leave the country. In fact, it could become so bad that the very people who crow about, “If you don’t like it, then leave” will be the very people who suddenly freak the fuck out when this very thing happens. We’re going to go from Fox screaming hysterically about scary brown people in caravans headed towards the border to them complaining constantly about how liberals are leaving the country. At first, of course, they will be gloat and be full of glee at this prospect….until it gets to the point that even they realize the economic impact of this happening and all they will do is complain about how wealthy liberals are fleeing to the south of France (or wherever). But make no mistake about it — it’s going to happen. The moment it’s clear we’re an autocracy, wealthy liberals will flee the United States en masse.
The Passage Of The Republican Agenda At some point after 2025 when Republicans know the coast is clear, Republicans are going to abolish the Senate filibuster and cram threw their entire agenda that they’ve been hoping to pass the last few decades. ACA will be gone. Abortion will be banned in all the states. Social Society, Medicaid and Medicare will be gutted, “reformed” and privatized. Taxes for plutocrats will be lowered, while the poor will have to start to “pay their fair share.” There may be a lot of protesting, but, just like with Russia, ultimately…lulz, nothing matters.
Plutocrats Will End The Liberal Media If what happened to Russia is any indication, at some point after 2025, we will begin to see MAGA-friendly plutocrats begin to buy and otherwise make huge investments in Disney, NBCUniversal, Paramount, etc to the point that in a subtle way the idea of there being a “liberal media” will begin to seem quite quaint. And what our new fascist overlords can’t get that way, they will get via brute force — they will threaten harsh regulations and broadcast companies licensing. I would suggest you keep an eye on things like The New York Times and PBS as well. If somehow, magically, The New York Times is sold to, say, Elon Musk and you look at PBS Newshour and is identical to Hannity then, well, America is an autocracy.
A Constitutional Convention Now, this is where a lot of people who still believe in the system, believe that all we have to do is wait for the Justice Department to indict about two dozen people and we’re all going to be saved — I’m looking at you Mueller, She Wrote — will think I’m being “terribly negative.” But we’re already just a few states away from a Constitutional Convention being called and one of the long-term goals of the MAGA New Right is for this to happen to “pass a balanced budget amendment.” But given how such a convention would be populated — by people selected by state legislatures — it’s very, very, very easy to imagine that the moment it convenes, it will go rouge and decide to dramatically change the Constitution. The MAGA New Right agenda will be codified in the Constitution and things like birthright citizenship, a weak executive and God only knows what else will be gone. That will be the central political issue of the day at some point after we’re finally no longer a democracy. And all the bullshit gaslighting that Republicans have been using for decades will be used to get it all passed. And the center-Left is just too weak, so, lulz, we’re fucked.
The Weaponization of The ICE Infrastructure As all of this is going on, the already existent ICE infrastructure will be weaponized so loudmouth crank drunks like me will find themselves in a lot of hot water. And, given that I, by nature, just can’t shut up, I fully expect that in the end I’m probably going to die in an ICE camp. Or something. Something bleak and dark.
Minority Report There is another option. And that option is our autocracy will be a Very American Autocracy in that, relative to, say, Russia, it will be “light touch” — but still exist. Or it might be that our decent into a Russian-style autocracy will be so gradual after some initial gloating on the part of the MAGA New Right that we won’t really notice any changes at first. And this will happen because the center-Left in the United States is soooooo fucking weak and so wrapped up in what pronouns to use that the autocrat will simply go about his business and not really care about the “soft power” that the liberal elites might have. And, besides, the liberal elites won’t even live in the country anymore, so…lulz?
I write because I have to, not because I want to. And yet one constant thing I’ve experience since I started my current journey to writing not just one novel but six novels is how many people bitch and moan that people like me shouldn’t even be writing a novel in the first place.
It’s all very frustrating.
Usually, people who say things like “why don’t you just write a short story” aren’t very creative and generally are cocksuckers whose use cold, hard metrics for any endeavor that are in no way connect to the creative process.
They’re like parents who are always on the look out to find some practical use for their child’s aspirations, rather than just letting them dream until they, themselves figure out what they want to do with their lives. Fuck those people and fuck them for every time they make me feel bad working on a novel.
Jesus Christ.
I mean, I’m finished a first draft of a novel and am now transitioning to the second draft. I have no idea if it will sell, have no idea if I will even get an agent. But for me to be happy, I need to be writing — come what may.
So people who make very cogent arguments about why you should not write a novel can fucking suck it. Fucking cocksuckers. Not to sound too much like Matt Damon trying to sell you crypto, but no on every go anywhere in this world without taking a risk.
People who poo-poo the idea of writing a spec novel simply are not creative and have no creative impulse. I don’t want them in my life and I don’t feel any obligation to listen to them. And you shouldn’t either.
As long as you have the will, the creative spark and something to say — write that book. Write that novel. Do whatever you have to do to finish it. I’m not saying it won’t be a lot of work. I won’t say that you’ll actually sell it. But you’ll at least be content that you tried.
Anyone who makes you feel bad for being true to yourself, for being creative is a fucking cocksucker.
This is an extreme first draft. Just writing off the top of my head. But if it’s not already a song, “You Outta Pocket” would be a great hiphop song title.
You Outta Pocket lyrics by Shelt Garner @sheltgarner please give credit if you produce or perform
people are pressing me left and right always trying to squash my delight I’m just tyring to live my life but here I am at the KFC when some fella get in my face and all I can say is
you outta pocket you outta pocket you outta pocket
you take yourself wherever go so later that day I am crusing down the street I stop at the stop light and some mo-fucker screams at me to get out of the way all I gotta say is
you outta pocket you outta pocket you outta pocket
(bridge) all I need all I want is a little peace of mind but I’m surrounded by squares who on a dare push me to my limit
you outta pocket you outta pocket you outta pocket you outta pocket you outta pocket you outta pocket
The thing about the band The Pretty Reckless is they seem to be stuck musical amber — they’re an exact replica of the type of hard pop rock I was listening to in the general 1985 – 1989 timeframe. They manage to do this without sounding generic. They’ve got spunk and are actually really interesting.
The Pretty Reckless
Now that we’re suppose to be in a downlow “new era” of a vibe shift in pop culture after the end of the Rona Era, it would make a lot of sense if the type of traditional pop rock that The Pretty Reckless performs would, again, become mainstream.
In fact, I would go so far as to say we know we are really in a “vibe shift” if a song from The Pretty Reckless mysteriously and abruptly blows up. Then you would have a whole slew of similar bands get record contracts and we would be awash in good music again.
I’m afraid that’s a huge amount of wishful thinking, however. I think, at best, we’re probably going to get a lot of New Wave inspired pop rock, rather than more traditional hard pop rock that we get from The Pretty Reckless.
Me as a DJ in Seoul.
I like The Pretty Reckless because they’re firing on all of their creative cylinders. When it comes to a lot of other acts trying to, say, bring back New Wave, they seem to not quite know what their vision is. They’re thrashing about, looking for The New Sound, when all they’re doing is trying to recreate New Wave. The Pretty Reckless, meanwhile, have a musical vision — be traditional hard pop rock.
Anyway. I has a sad that there aren’t more bands like The Pretty Reckless for me to discover via Spotify.
I love me a good counter-factual. In fact, I spend way, way, way too much time toying with different “what-if” scenarios. It’s like, my thing. So, the case could be made that had the Civil War happened a little later that Lincoln might have lead the North leaving the Union instead of leading the fight to save it.
Just within the last few days, it’s occurred me what one might expect if the “national divorce” that Reds keep babbling about actually happend around 2024 – 2025. For the longest time, I thought both sides would be fighting over, essentially, the USA “brand.” But now I realize that the war aims of the Blues would be to simply leave the Union.
It would be Reds who play the part of the North in this scenario, trying to “save” the Union — even though in reality, they would want to oppress Blues by putting a knee on their throat for eternity.
This really makes me very unhappy because now I realize that should things get so bad that we’re having a civil war, then rather than supporting the Union in 2024 – 2025, I’ll be supporting the secessionists. Or, put another way, if I find myself a political refugee somewhere in a Blue state once a Second Civil War starts all the propaganda I will be consuming will be about how great and wonderful that “national divorce” that Reds current want would be.
Meanwhile, Reds will be freaking out and bombing the hell out of Blues to try to keep them in the Union.
History is, if nothing else, ironic.
Of course, there is something I really don’t talk that much about — the possibility that the joke will be on all of us –instead of any sort of national divorce, the U.S. Military will finally, FINALLY step in as the country is descending into civil war and we’ll end up with endup with Acting President Mattis.
But the fact remains — Reds would have to be EXTREMELY DUMB to start a civil war before the general late 2024 – early 2025 timeframe. They’re ascendant and, a such, they have no reason to want a civil war. They can get everything they want just by being patient.
Trump is — and remains — too stupid and lazy to be an autocrat. The great irony is, of course, that both myself and the people who voted for him in 2016 thought he was an autocrat. But, lulz, no. He’s not a Great Man, he’s just an avatar who plays himself and is too lazy to do the hard work of destroying American democracy once and for all.
This brings us to Trump’s looming second term.
Now, obviously, that’s both not happen yet and a few years away. So a lot could change between now and 2025. But even though Trump looks like shit most of the time these days, Joe Biden has proven that someone in their late 70s and early 80s can be president.
So, let’s suppose Trump does exactly what we believe he is going to do and runs again in 2024 and, through hook or through crook, wins again. What would be the significance of that event?
There is a lot to unpack here.
First, of course, is the cold hard fact that Trump’s second term will be based on revenge and the final destruction of American democracy. But, again, all of that will happen in the context of Trump being very stupid and very lazy. The real issue we have to worry about is who will be his successor.
His successor will be America’s Putin.
At the moment, I’m leaning towards him picking as crazy as possible a successor. Someone like Gen. Mike Flynn. Someone who is totally fucking bonkers and yet is young enough and smart enough to complete the process of transitioning the United States into autocracy. There’s a small chance that Trump might, out of desperation, pick Ron DeSantis as his veep, but if he goes with a “normal” person, it’s probably going to pick someone even more dangerous like Josh Hawley.
But the point is — barring the other option of 2024 – 2025, which is civil war — the United States will no longer be a democracy soon after Trump cheats his way into a second term. (A second term he would probably win without even cheating.)
And even Trump is smart enough to realize that once he’s back in power, he can get everything he wants through a Constitutional Convention. I fully expect Trump — or his smarter, more organized successor –to demand a Constitutional Convention to “pass a balanced budget amendment” at some point after 2025.
And, yet, I’m still blocked by Mueller, She Wrote for being “terribly negative” even though it’s pretty obvious that my “terribly negative” views are using self-evident information. Oh well. Fight the power, I guess.
Pardon lyrics by Shelt Garner @sheltgarner please give credit if you produce or perform
I’ve decided I should be on the pardon list if that’s still in the works.
free me of my guilt because life is come this no one cares what I think but I’m still feeling on the brink pardon me if it’s possible cause that’s all I’ve got left
I’ve decided I should be on the pardon list if that’s still in the works.
why am I so low nothing is as it should be but once I’m pardon I’ll flee the guilt and the rest of the shit that holds me down like an overwheight crown
I’ve decided I should be on the pardon list if that’s still in the works
(bridge) the guilt won’t go no matter what this I know maybe a pardon isn’t for me maybe I have to set myself free
I’ve decided I should be on the pardon list if that’s still in the works.
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