Month: June 2022

Democracy Dies With Our Eyes Wide Shut

By Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

It’s reports like the above that make me hate the fact that my “terribly negative” (according to Twitter liberal darling Mueller, She Wrote) aren’t all that fantastical, after all.

It definitely seems as though we’re now going through the montage that is the death spiral of our democracy before we have the existential choice of autocracy or civil war around 2024 – 2025. In other words, not only is Mueller, She Wrote a misguided fool for blocking me for being “terribly negative,” we really are fucked as a nation one way or another a lot sooner than we might think.

All the conditions are set now for something very dramatic to happen between Election Day 2024 and Certification Day 2025. The only question at this point is if it’s going to be civil war or autocracy. And, what’s more, it could happen sooner if Trump becomes Speaker in 2023 and starts to rant on Truth Social that Red States should leave the Union to put pressure on the Senate to convict both Biden and Harris.

All of my dire predictions about the future are slowly coming true. The 2020 election may, in fact, be the last free and fair election in America’s history, barring a civil war or some sort of other “national divorce.”

Instead of blocking me, Mueller, She Wrote should be telling me what the fuck I’m going to do when the autocracy comes and I get arrested for saying President DeSantis can suck my dick. But, no, I’m getting punished for pointing out the obvious — no amount of earnest Twitter threads will save us.

We’re going to have to save ourselves.

We can’t even rely upon Twitter liberals to help us out. We common folk — who can’t afford a Blue Apron subscription — are just shit out of luck.

Holy Shit, Did Ted Cruz Fuck Bobo?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Well, that’s curious. I have no idea about what it means, but it is very curious Ted Cruz’s connection to professional crazy person Lauren Boebert.

There’s smoke here, but I doubt we’ll ever know if there’s any fire. But it’s curious. Very curious.

I’ve gotten burned way too many times in the past making assumptions from way too little information. It’s just as possible that this is just the usual corruption, graft and grift of MAGA.

To Write A Novel Is To Re-Write A Novel

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m finally transitioning from first draft to second draft of my first novel and, as such, I find myself re-writing everything over and over again after having read everything over and over again.

The only solution is to see this element of writing a novel as a job. My natural inclination is to just skim what I’ve written and hope for the best but, fuck, I’m not going down like that.

I’ve gotten this far, I’m not going to screw it up now.

So, I’m going to force myself to not only develop, read and write, but rewrite and reread as necessary. For once, my obsessive personality is coming in handy. This is a massive projected that is hoped to be six (six!) novels before it’s over with and it’s completely overwhelming.

Which, of course, was the point of all of this.

I love being creative — in fact, I can’t help myself — and the only thing I am annoyed about is how difficult it is for me to stay as focused as I should about getting this done as quickly as possible.

Otherwise, all systems go.

My Hot Take On Howard Stern

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m old enough to remember when Howard Stern was the bad boy of radio and to listen to him was, unto itself, scandalous. But here’s the thing — the man is one of the best interviewers out there today. He’s a great. This is why so much of the media elite listens to him on a religious basis.

Howard Stern

I will note, of course, that he has an extremely annoying tendency to descend into such crassness that I just can’t listen to him on a regular basis. It’s all very jarring and the part of his media persona that I can not abide by.

And, yet, weirdly enough, I have an extremely tenuous connection to him that in the back of my mind I always think maybe I could use to get my novel published. I have, on occasion spoken to the ex-girlfriend of “whack pack” member Benji Bronk (even spoken to Bronk himself).

But that’s rather fantastical. I’m not putting too much weight on the possibility that that extremely weak connection to Stern might get the novel in front of Stern at some point after it’s finished. But it’s fun to think about

Anyway, the ultimate weird thing about Stern is he should have been hard canceled full stop a long time ago — and yet he continues to be very popular and very influential.

My First Novel Is, At Last, Getting Pretty Good

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

After a number of years of hard work, I’m now finally transitioning my first draft into a second draft. I never knew how much re-reading and re-writing writing a novel would require.

But here I am.

It really hits home every day how little time I left on this earth and, as such, I need to hurry the fuck up. I really need to get something, anything done. I would prefer to have at least three novels done when I try to sell something, so I could follow in the footsteps of my hero Stieg Larsson.

But, we’ll see, I suppose.

I just need to finish something, anything. I need to get the first novel done and then I can use it as a calling card for other writing. I read my stuff now and it’s not nearly as embarrassing as it has been in the past.

It’s a all a lot of hard work, though. I keep having to read and reread and write and rewrite over and over and over and over again. But I just don’t want to embarrass myself. It’s really hard getting your writing good enough to the point that someone who doesn’t know you can read your work cold and not throw the book across the room.

Anyway. Wish me luck.

Holy Shit Are Things Going To Get Lit Soon

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The first ping as to which way things will go will be when Roe is overturned at some point very soon. If people are just too tuned out when the Dobbs decision is handed down to care, then it’s very possible we’re going to just going to turn into a MAGA themed autocracy.

But if people freak out and there is violence because of Dobbs then, holy shit is there a good chance that Dobbs will be a modern day Dred Scott and, as such, a precursor to an extremely violent “national divorce.”

As of this writing — before Dobbs comes out — I just don’t think there’s going to be any violence. (I hope.) While American definitely feels likes like its in the scary montage before a civil war, Americans are in general pretty copacetic. I just don’t see Americans getting riled up enough to finally start murdering each other for political reasons.

The fucking fascist MAGA cocksuckers are just too passionate, too organized and have too much name brand leadership for Blues to attempt any sort of secession. (Make not doubt about it, if there’s a civil war, it will be because Blues, on a state level, try to leave the Union — Reds are ascendant and have no reason to rock the boat. But they are very stupid, so anything is possible.)

But even if there is not political violence because of Dobbs, from the moment it comes out the clock will be ticking. Republicans are now old school fascists who hate democracy — don’t even believe in it — and, as such, once they have power again that’s it.

Unless there is a civil war, we’re never going to have another free and fair election. We’ll be just like Russian once Putin became president. I’m not saying it’s going to happen overnight and, in the end, it’s probably going to be a “very American autocracy” but long term the drift will be towards a Russian-style autocracy. What’s worst, it’s not like MAGA thought leaders are hiding that this is their goal.

That’s why, like, there should be some low-key panic going on within the elites that at the moment I’m not seeing. We know what’s coming and…lulz? Nothing is being done to save our democratic republic? No drive to have some sort of unity ticket that might at least punt our problems down the road a little bit longer?

It’s all very curious.

Enjoy your autocracy, I guess.

Panic! On The Democracy

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I totally agree with this by Jamelle Bouie of The New York Times.



The state of our democracy is very dire at the moment and the lack of willingness to acknowledge that by the American Establishment is concerning.

Maybe if there was some panic now, we would be willing to seriously consider a unity ticket in 2024 of, say, Cheney / AOC. But, as it stands, we’re slouching towards autocracy.

When the crisis strikes in 2024 – 2025, we’re all going to be sucker punched and that will be that. But the entire system is designed to keep people complacent and to avoid panic.

As such, I think it’s a foregone conclusion that the fascists are going to win and that will be that. We’re going to slip into autocracy and 20 years from now President-for-Life DeSantis will be thinking about invading Canada for this or that reason.

Things really are that dire in the United States right now, especially given how a huge swath of MAGA doesn’t even believe in democracy in the USA anymore to begin with.

Ugh.

‘Lenin’s Sealed Train’

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I learned a lot about myself in Seoul. I know what I’m good — and bad — at. I’m a good organizer and good at articulating ideals. I have a very broadcast type personality. But I have a huge weakness — I need help persuading anyone. In short, I have no friends and no one likes me.

Annie Shapiro and me way back when in Seoul.

But I know that under the right circumstances, I have the skillset to do Something Great. At the moment, that Something Great is writing developing and writing six novels between now and whenever I shuffle off this mortal coil. Yet there is also the possibility that should the US go tits up as part of a Second American Civil War that the finger of God will point at me.

I’m being extremely speculative — and egotistical — but given the chance, I think there’s a fairly decent chance that I might rise to the occasion and do something Historic with my life. I usually excel in chaos, as my time in Seoul as expat attests.

I think way too much about this, in fact.

I wonder if it’s still possible for me, being the big old loser that I am, to be a Child of the Revolution. Or, put another way, if I’m ever going to live up to my expectations for myself, something pretty astonishing would have to happen one way or another. And a Second American Civil War would definitely fit the bill on that front.

I always though of myself as more of a Trotsky.

As I’ve said, if there is some sort of “national divorce” I’m heading north. It could be a lot of fun living in revolutionary New York City that might spring up as part of a Second American Civil War.

Then I think about how no one likes me and I have no friends. The only reason why I got to have such an interesting experience in Seoul way back when was I had a partner, Annie Shapiro, who was able to get people to listen to me.

Anyway, I guess we’ll know soon enough, huh. It could be as soon as January 2023 if we’re going to have a civil war or not. It could happen that soon, of course, if Trump becomes speaker and personally demands that Red States leave the Union in an effort to put pressure on the Senate to convict both Biden and Harris.

Julia Fox Is An ‘It Girl’ Without A Publication To Obsess About Her

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

It is a testament to where things are right now with American pop culture and media that Julia Fox is out there, being a walking meme…and there’s not really any one blog or magazine (or even podcast) that I associate with her rise.

I mean, back in the day, there was Gawker and Julia Allison. That was an interesting dynamic that was a lot of fun to see unfold. She was young and dumb and Gawker enjoyed documenting her hot girl silliness.

In fact, I would go so far as to say that Julia Fox is one of a number of post-pandemic things that are part of the general “vibe shift” that is occurring in America at the moment.

And, in a different world — one where I had, like, friends and stuff — I would try to start a blog or a podcast that would do what the old Gawker did with Julia Allison. But, in a sense, I think that says more about my lost, squandered youth than anything else.

I just love the process of starting a new media outlet, however small, and it would be so much fun to start a new blog or podcast that hoped to not only document Julia Fox’s ever twitch, but also follow in the snarky tradition of Spy, Late Night With David Letterman and, of course, Gawker.

But it’s not to be.

Even if I managed to pull it off, it couldn’t be a blog, it would have to be a podcast. That’s where all the buzz and energy is these days. I can go months without looking at any media outlet other than Twitter and YouTube. And, I suspect, millions of other people are the same way.

I look at New York Magazine’s blog or the Undead Gawker’s blog and…it’s all very underwhelming. Meh. So what. Give me something hyper modern that talks about all the interesting, cool cultural developments in post-pandemic America.

Sadly, I doubt it will ever happen.

I Have No One To Tell Me ‘No’

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Things are going really well — so far — with this now six novel project I’m working on. Though, I have to admit that obviously Serious Writers can not bring themselves to take me seriously given that I can’t even get an hour of their time if I pay them.

If that’s not sad, I don’t know what is.

But anyway, I working on the second draft of the first novel and seriously contemplating the development of the second. I know this huge universe I’ve come up with really well and it’s a lot of fun to bounce around it as necessary

And yet.

I know if I had a wife or a girlfriend, she probably would suggest that my ambition is far exceeding my actual ability. She would say, “Honey, maybe work on a scifi novel just in case? Or find a real job so you can afford to buy the photographic equipment you want so bad?”

In short, she would tell me “no.”

But I have no one to tell me no. So I can keep working on a six novel project, not knowing if I’m going to make a massive fool out of myself or not. But, in all honesty, I have to admit that I wouldn’t listen to a wife or girlfriend even if I had one.

I’m just too stubborn.

Which, maybe, is why I’m alone in the first place.