Month: July 2022

A Hot Take On Tay-Tay

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Where to begin with Taylor Swift. She’s gorgeous. She’s very talented. She’s a great writer and singer…but she seems to love, love, love doing nothing more than fan service.

In the past, she’s occasionally come out with an album that was interesting beyond her core group of fans. But such things are few and far between. She’s one of the biggest artists in the world and she drops huge albums…and…nothing? They placate her ever-older base. She doesn’t really take much of a creative risk.

Tay-Tay has such potential as a traditional pop-rock artist. Just imagine if Tay-Tay released a dance pop rock album. It would be huge. She could leverage her traditional fan base in conjunction with other Zoomers who would be ecstatic at such a vibe shift album.

But that’s just not to be. Nothing fun ever happens. Ugh.

Tay-Tay Needs To Produce A Rock Album

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The rumor on Tik-Tok is Taylor Swift has a secret rock album in the vault called “Karma” that has never been released. The thing about Tay-Tay is she is the exact center of pop culture. What’s more, the only person who plays to their base more is Donald Fucking Trump.

Tay-Tay comes out with huge songs that…just don’t make much of a splash beyond her rock solid base. I mean, other than a Swifty, has anyone listened to her latest song “Carolina?”

No. They haven’t.

Tay-Tay is well on her way to becoming the Elvis of women who say they hate men, then turn around and marry Some Dude With A Good Job who is Stable and Will Provide. She’s going to just play to the base well unto her 40s and 50s.

But, I wish she would come out with that Karma album. She can write a pop banger and it wouldn’t take a lot of effort for her to veer off into rock. But I just don’t see it happening.

Tay-Tay has no reason to change anything. She’s doing quite well with what she’s doing at the moment.

A Hot Take On Halsey

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I really, really like Halsey. But the thing about her is, she seems to be among a number of established artists who seem to be thrashing around creatively for a New Sound.

The logical thing for her to do is to veer into traditional pop rock. It’s right there. If she came out out with a pop rock album that wasn’t just warmed over NIN in its vibe, then I think she would find a lot of success.

It definitely seems as though the audience wants something akin to neo-New Wave. That’s what Zoomers want. They have no idea what New Wave and punk are and if you came out with music that was updated New Wave I think it would be a huge hit.

But, lulz. No one one listens to me. But I’m an Old, so I have some perspective on things. And I think if you someone like Halsey really studied The Talking Heads or Blondie and got a really good producer (Butch Vig?) to rock her up some, I think that’s a sure fire hit.

Yes, Guam Is Worth Fighting For

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Jesus H. Christ. Apparently, some stray MAGA New Right “thought leader” made some dumb quip that implied that Guam wasn’t fighting WW3 for.

Fuck that guy.

Guam is American territory and if China somehow feels it can threaten it, that’s war. This is an example of how I’m far less Leftist than anti-MAGA in my views. The United States is the linchpin of the global order and if, say, China went after Guam because we defended Taiwan then, war it is.

The idea that someone would quibble about defending Guam of all places kind of blows my mind.

‘Delight’ — #lyrics to a #pop #rock #ballad

Delight
lyrics by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
Please give credit if you produce or perform

you’ve got potential
she said
leaving wondering what she meant
but it’s not for me to know
she’s gone now and so it goes
I’m looking over my life and wondering
how it got the way it is

take another drink of my whiskey
knowing it’s not my last
my whiskey is my friend
among the last to believe in me

take another sip of delight
it might all end in fright

take another sip of delight
it might all end in fright

I’m not saying I’m perfect
women come and go
tell me not what they want
or kiss me goodbye in the morning
not letting me have another date

take another sip of delight
it might all end in fright

take another sip of delight
it might all end in fright

(bridge)
but I’ve got my booze
always will
it keeps me warm at night
when I have to hold my own hand
but I have memories of the truth
that’s all gone and so it goes

take another sip of delight
it might all end in fright

take another sip of delight
it might all end in fright

Trump’s Fucking ‘Schedule F’ Idea Is Going To Keep Me Up At Night

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Jesus H. Christ. A Very American Autocracy is careening towards us in broad daylight and we’re just going to let it happen. If Trump doesn’t implement “Schedule F,” then it will be a President DeSantis. (Or name a would-be Republican autocrat.)

I suppose the reason why Schedule F weighs on my mind so much is it’s a concrete fascist move on Trump’s (or whomever) part. It’s something I can point to and say, “Yep, that’s fascism. That’s A Very American Autocracy right there.”

Fascism in the United States is no longer an abstract. We now know what it will look like and how, specifically, Trump or someone like Trump will implement it. And, as I keep saying, this is not an abstract to me!

I’m a loudmouth crank who could very well easily cross the autocrat at some point in the future when I get drunk and rant about how much President DeSantis can suck my cock. The shift into autocracy will be so abrupt, so without notice that I’ll just be going about my business being a drunk crank then someone will turn me in and that will be that.

I’ll good poof! and, at best, I might hope to have my name etched in a monument to the disappeared at some point in the future. This is all very concrete for me. At the moment, at least, it doesn’t seem like I’ll have the funds to just leave the country like all the fucking Twitter liberals will do.

Ugh.

And, to think, we all will know about Schedule F waiting to be implemented and we’re not going to do a fucking thing to stop it happening.

‘America hot civil war mid-term elections 2022-2023’

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Ok, I get it. A lot of MAGA New Right people really, really, REALLY want to murder people like me in cold blood for political reasons. But, at the same time, I feel this sentiment is foolish because, lulz, Republicans control the courts and are getting everything they want politically.

It just makes no sense that there would be a “hot civil war,” at all. Why would Reds, of all people, want that to happen? If anything, they have a vested interest in keeping the peace so they can consulate power.

But the question from the aether was — are we going to have a hot civil war because of the passions of the 2022 mid-terms?

I suppose it’s possible. But it’s definitely not probable. I could see Trump, unto himself, starting a civil war if he became Speaker in 2023. He would demand that Red States threaten to leave the Union if the Senate did not convict Biden and Harris.

But other than that….any idea of there being a hot civil war as part of the passions of the 2022 midterms feels like political froth to me. Something truely unexpected would have to happen for there to be a hot, fighting war anytime between now and when it’s most likely to happen — 2024 – 2025.

I could definitely see a hot civil war in late 2024, early 2025, but the only reason why this is the case is because it would be Blue States, not Red States who would be forcing the issue.

But I don’t think that’s going to happen. The center-Left is too busy canceling Dave Chappelle for not towing the center-Left media narrative to have the guts, the balls to leave the Union.

So, we’re fucked.

‘Yesterday’s A Hard Word For Me’ — Lyrics To A Pop Rock Ballad



Yesterday’s A Hard Word For Me
lyrics by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
Please give credit if you produce or perform

I dwell in the past
wondering what might have been
look at myself in the mirror
and I realize no matter what
that yesterday’s a hard word for me to say

yesterday’s a hard word for me
yesterday’s a hard word for me
yesterday’s a hard word for me

it used to be easy to say
in fact, the past made my day
but now with time it’s all too sublime
am I suppose to say yesterday and think of you
all I can say is that makes me feel blue
yesterday’s a hard word for me
yesterday’s a hard word for me
yesterday’s a hard word for me

people come and go from my life
it’s sad but true
the past is the past the present is almost gone
after living for the moment the past has come back
asking me for its due
but I just can’t say the word

yesterday’s a hard word for me
yesterday’s a hard word for me
yesterday’s a hard word for me

(bridge)
the modern world is tough
keeps me roughing through the woods
in the buff
but one day I know
I’ll be able to speek the truth
about what happened once long ago

yesterday’s a hard word for me
yesterday’s a hard word for me
yesterday’s a hard word for me

Vibe Shift: There’s A Media Space Not Being Served And It’s Aggravating

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Pretty much no one reads this blog. Most of the traffic comes from a trickle of people in Red States who have a boner for a civil war looking for how they can start murdering people like me for political reasons.

But, from my obsession with the analyzing the Web traffic of this Website, I can give you some sense of how one might start a new publication. The key take away from my all-consuming obsession with my traffic is there’s a real audience for celebrity news. It’s insatiable. The celebrity topic is one of the few things that people are willing to leave their passive media bubble to search for.

As such, if you wanted to start a new publication of some sort, I would suggest you really lean into covering celebrities, at least at first. So, I suppose if you wanted to get high concept you might say my idea is for TMZ meets BuzzFeed meets Spy Magazine Meets the old Nick Denton version of Gawker.

Or, put another way, I might suggest starting a podcast first that is hyper focused on snarky hot takes on celebrity news then build a Website out from that. Celebrity news definitely seems to be the clit of the infotainment industrial complex at the moment.

If you were to focus — as I’ve long suggested — on Julia Fox’s every public twitch then leverage that into politics and other infotainment elements you would have a hit on your hand.

Julia Fox

But who am I kidding. No one listens to me. Everyone gets all their information passively from Twitter, Facebook and Tik-Tok now. The only way my dream will ever come true is if I somehow managed to win the fucking lottery and do it myself.

Ugh.

What Would Streaming Consolidation Look Like?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

There are just too many streaming services. There is going to come a point where there are only about three (or four.) Let’s attempt to see what that future might look like.

Looking into my very cloudy crystal ball, here’s how I think might shake out to be.

Apple+
Apple, as best I can tell, is something of a black box when it comes to streaming. But they have so much fucking money, that it’s at least within the realm of possibility that they might buy Netflix and fold it into Apple+. I still think Apple should buy Spotify, too, but that’s just me. And, I suppose, it’s within the realm of possibility that Apple might buy Warner Brothers Discovery, too. I only suggest that because, typically, as any industry matures you get three major players and Apple buying CNN’s parent company wouldn’t be as big a deal if, say, NBCUniversal bought it.
Disney+
I could totally see Disney in some way buying NBCUniversal’s streaming service. But this would be a very delicate situation because of Hulu. Or, put another way, Disney is so powerful that they’re going to endup being among the remaining three — how they get there I don’t know right now. (I’m drunk as I write this, so please forgive me if my thinking is a little bit clouded as to specifics.)
Paramount+
The only way Paramount+ survives to be among the top three is if they open the floodgates of content. They would really have to lean into all that CBS content they have access to. If they flooded the zone with 60 years of CBS content, then I think they have a pretty good shot at sticking around. Otherwise, lulz.