Tag: FBI

Trump Is Such A Dick To The FBI

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

One of the reasons why this blog has “Trumplandia” in its name is I saw a report at some point about how the FBI was “Trumplandia.” Something about that was interesting to me and so I named this blog that.

In hindsight, that was a dumb idea, but whatever.

But what bothers me about the FBI these days is Trump keeps firing anyone who has ever been an investigator in one of his many criminal cases. It’s not the fault of the staff of the FBI that they just happened to be the people to discover what a fucking criminal Trump is.

Sigh. How is any of this making America great again, if I may ask?

Anyway, I’m — sure — I have at least one FBI case worker on me because I rant about Trump so much. But, to date, all interactions with the FBI (specifically because of a novel I was working on) were quite pleasant.

This Charlie Kirk Thing Is Just Horrible & Dumb: The FBI Is The Gang That Can’t Shoot Straight

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

What the fuck is going on with the FBI. They are supposed to be good at finding people like whomever shot Charlie Kirk but…lulz?

Anyway. I just want the guy found some we can have some closure. So we can move on to the next disaster, whatever that might be.

I continue to wonder what is going to happen if, magically, a Democrat wins the presidency in 2028. Now, obviously, that isn’t going to happen because we’re going to be a full-blown autocracy by that point, but if it did happen, what happens to FBI Director Kash?

Only someone like AOC would have the guts to just fire the motherfucker and start all over again. And, like I keep saying, we’re so totally fucked. The political and cultural vandalism that Trump has engaged just in the last few months is going to take at least a generation to correct and that’s if things go perfectly.

And they’re not going to go perfectly.

Anyway. It was nice living in a liberal democracy while it lasted.

I Got Nothing Against The FBI

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

While my rhetoric about the FBI may have grown a bit more heated of late, it’s more about me fucking hating what Trump is doing to it than anything else. My sole encounter with the FBI — when I talked to one of the PR people about an element of my novel — was quite pleasant.

It’s because I trust and like the FBI that I’ve grown so fucking angry over what’s going on with it. It’s being corrupted and turned into a fucking arm of the Trump campaign.

Anyway. Live long and prosper, guys. You deserve better.

Should I Be Worried?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m extremely harmless. I sometimes get drunk and worked up about MAGA and write some…provocative things…but I always calm down and move on to the next thing. I have a novel to finish.

And, yet, I occasionally get pings to this Website from people who are from the base of the ATF in West Virginia and that makes me EXTREMELY NERVOUS. I don’t mean any harm to anyone, I just have some very strong opinions. I understand why the AFT or FBI might be interested in me because I do rant a lot, but if they read this blog on a regular basis, it would also be clear that it’s just me letting off steam.

I hate violence. I hate guns — I really, really hate guns.

I just get worked up because I want to live in a traditional liberal democracy and it definitely seems at times that that thing — my American birthright — is at risk at the moment and I just don’t know what to do about it.

Anyway, please FBI and AFT, believe me when I say I’m a harmless nobody. No one listens to me and usually when they do they get mad. But I will note that when people DO listen to me — cool shit happens.

‘The Company’ & My Wild Days In Seoul



by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

This is an instance of me either being extremely delusional (which is very possible) or sensing something that is true. Way back when, when I was living in Seoul, I was a man on fire. I was EXTREMELY CONSPICUOUS. So much so, that it’s probably reasonably likely that…uhhh…some spooks…in Seoul probably at least were aware of me.

I say this only because given where it is, it seems reasonable to assume that Seoul is crawling with spooks. Like a whole lot. And when I was there, there was a huge fucking military base in the middle of the city. And I was frequenting places like Haebangchon that probably had some military intelligence people living there. (At least in my fevered imagination about a decade later.)

Anyway, the only reason I bring his somewhat (ok, maybe a lot) bonkers idea up is I keep getting the occasional ping in my Webstats from people looking at this Website from Seoul. It makes no sense. None. I haven’t been in Seoul for about a decade now and, so, what? Why? I have been talking to the FBI for the novel and I even went so far as to mention “The Company” to the FBI PR guy.

I dunno. Just seems logical that some long-term spooky people in Seoul might have gotten wind of what I’m up to and thought they would take a look at my Website to see what was up.

I don’t think you can fully appreciate how insanely conspicuous I was in Seoul at my “height.” I was so balls out nuts someone even put me in a book about crazy expats.

All I can say is, I’m a changed man. I’ve learned humility.

Outline Struggles #AmWriting



by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Oh boy.

It’s taken about two years, but I finally come up with method of development that works for me — I have an outline that I obsessively update as my July 4th weekend deadline approaches.

The main thing is balance character, plot and, like, uhhh, an investigation? If I can have those three things in equal measure, I’m going to be ok. I have no idea what I’m doing with the police procedural aspect of the story, but I can learn. I can, read, after all.

I talked to an FBI PR guy recently and he helped a huge amount. I’m probably going to give him a shoutout in the Author’s Note. He didn’t like it much when I asked about The Company, though. But that’s a crucial (in a sense) aspect of the story I’m developing. I like flipping the script and it seems it would be fun if, in a James Bond kind of way, The Company and its affiliate spooky eyes were “the Good Guys,” given how much fucking Trump rants about them.

Anyway.

I can feel myself itching to get back to writing. But I have some slack still in my development timeline, so I can hopefully with a rather clear head go through the outline and get myself where I need to be before my deadline.