Tough Love For Twitter Liberals About The Current State Of The Impeachment Process

Darkness falls.
Shelton Bumgarner

by Shelton Bumgarner

If you’re MAGA reading this from the Deep South and you think my worst case scenario is your best case scenario — please eat shit. Fuck off, you piece of shit MAGA traitor.

Trump’s going to be acquitted. In fact, to be brutally honest, given that Trump does NOT want to be impeached, there’s a pretty good chance he won’t even be formally impeached.

Here’s why.

Bill Barr is lurking around, waiting to pounce. He’s likely to finally release his “anti-Mueller Report” just around Thanksgiving. As of right now, formal impeachment is set for sometime around Christmas. So, if past is preface, Barr plays the part of Q. He drops a big turd in the impeachment punch bowl. The press spends a week debating the merits of his totally bullshit report. Everyone begins to fear that John Brennan is going to be indicted. We’re so busy thinking about this totally surreal and nonsensical report — even if it appears to be backed up by “facts” — that the momentum for even impeachment fades and Trump escapes.

I say this quite sincerely because Trump is going to turn into a very moronic, very deranged Sun King at this point. He’s going to become so brazen after escaping justice AGAIN that it will be pretty obvious by no later than, say, February that there will NOT be a free-and-fair election in 2020. And pretty much everyone is going to stand around and watch it happen, too. Trump may “end” birthright citizenship via Executive Order. He may make rumblings about the absolute need for a Constitutional Convention to “pass a balanced budget amendment.”

The first part of his second term will be calling a snap Constitutional Convention and codifying American Carnage. Don Jr. will be America’s doofus Crown Prince. We’re going to be little more than Putin’s bitch. Tyranny will finally descend upon across America. Liberal-progressives in Hollywood will bounce from the country altogether and many in New York City and Silicon Valley may do the same. The ICE Camps will be weaponized and people like me will be “vanished.” We’ll simply not be around anymore. The ICE Camps will grow ever larger with not just scary brown people, but people like me.

I would note, however, in passing, that I can’t predict the future. The MAGA Right is growing extremely hysterical in its overheated, overwrought rhetoric. Things have stabilized enough for the time being that my initial fears of Trump finally losing his mind completely or there being significant anti-impeachment violence on the part of shithead MAGA people are beginning to subside.

So, in essence, I think by no later than Thanksgiving, the Mueller Playbook will kick in and a lot of liberal-progressives will scream at the top of their lungs that Trump was supposed to be impeached….and nothing actually happened. I used to think the impeachment train had left the station, but I’m beginning to doubt even that.

This week may be a big test of my predicting abilities. If we can make it through this week without the air completely draining from the impeachment balloon, then we’re in the clear…until next week. The bullshit Barr Report looms large in all of this. This week is also the first week where I’m growing a little bit more concerned about anti-impeachment violence on the part of MAGA. I only say this because their daily 2 minutes of hate is now completely focused on outing the Whistleblower and no good can come of that.

Who knows.

Staring Into The Void — Contemplating A Trump Whistleblower Newscycle From Hell

Uh oh.
Shelton Bumgarner

by Shelton Bumgarner

We have to begin this gut wrenching discussion with the obvious — in real terms, if what I fear might happens, happens, it will be one of the biggest political fuck ups on the part of an American party since the end of the Civil War. There simply is no way to weasel your way out of it — if there’s any type of anti-impeachment violence, Republicans — and Trump — are ultimately going to be blamed.

But, let’s move forward.

The issue right now is I just can’t speculate what the anti-impeachment violence will be. It could be anything from harm of some sort befalling the Whistleblower to a car bomb exploding somewhere like Times Square. But let’s go with something simple — the Whistleblower’s identity becomes so well know within the batshit insane MAGA echo chamber that someone decides to hurt him.

And, for the sake of argument, let’s say this happens sooner rather than later so Trump still has his marbles. But maybe it happens late enough that while there isn’t a direct link between Trump’s Twitter ranting and what happens, it’s pretty clear he established the conditions for it to happen. So things are still a bit nebulous.

The first thing would be the entire nation would come to a screeching halt for about 24 hours. For just around 24 hours, the nation would for once be on the same page: HOLY SHIT.

But this wouldn’t last very long. Once we began to process what happened, the two sides would be at each other’s throats again. MAGA Republicans would trade their hysterical rhetoric over the Whistleblower for hysterical rhetoric about how this unprecedented example of political violence is absolute proof that we “have to let the people decide” in 2020 instead continuing with the impeachment process.

In reality, this would be more about simply punting the debate over the criminal incompetence of Trump back into the political sphere and out of the “OH MY GOD, TRUMP GOT SOMEONE MURDERED” sphere. The usual suspects would pop out to message the base or carry water for House Trump. Hugh Hewitt would say Democrats are to blame because they should not have attempted to impeach Trump in the first place. House Republicans would scream at the top of their lungs that Rep. Adam Schiff should be charged as an accessory to murder. The New York Times‘ Maggie Haberman would coo that Trump was a political genius for getting someone murdered.

Now, remember, this is just the first 24 hours. The whole issue of a funeral would have to be addressed. Then there would likely be an epic battle over who would speak at the funeral and why. Given my personal belief that the populist rage of Twitter would burst into a supernova when the shock wore off and people realized what Trump’s hysterical and bombastic rhetoric had done.

Remember, the reason why Trump is so very, very stupid on a political level is right now the true backbone of his support is simple apathy. The vast majority of the populace is not on Twitter and is too busy raising their kids and paying their mortgage to care, in real terms, what Trump may or may not have done. The moment they a shocked out of their stupor by such un-American political violence, all bets are off.

I mean, the only thing I can think of that would possible force the hand of the living ex presidents would be something like anti-impeachment violence. Say what you will about Bill Clinton’s personal life, but I suspect he would be able to give a barn burner of a eulogy in such a situation.

So, the moment the funeral was over, Trump — who is completely devoid of human empathy — would go back to his old bullshit games. But I think his political fate would be sealed. While MAGA House Republicans would continue to caterwaul, in the end, Trump would be convicted by the Senate.

I still do not think anything like this is going to happen. It’s just so out of the American experience for there to be political violence. And, really, while I do think it’s inevitable that the Whistleblower will be “kavanaughed” by Republicans with great gusto as impeachment proceedings progress, I still am not prepared to accept in real terms that anyone on their side will go beyond that.

We’ll see, I guess.

What I Believe John Bolton Is Up To

American Carnage, Brought To You By John Bolton
Shelton Bumgarner

by Shelton Bumgarner

So what exactly is the game John Bolton is playing with Congress right now? My current theory has several parts to it.

He’s Slow Walking
He simply wants to delay his testimony until it’s way too little, too late. He doesn’t really want to testify if it has any political importance. He wants to dangle the possibility of testifying in front of House Democrats with the hope that they will delay the articles of impeachment so long that the whole thing gets pushed into 2020 and, well, “let the people decide.” Lulz!

He Has A Book To Sell
He might want to gin up his profile during the process of coyly suggesting he has the goods on House Trump to such an extent that he can release his book late enough in the 2020 presidential campaign as to get the biggest headlines possible. Remember — an acquitted Trump is going to be a tyrant. He will be an criminally incompetent tyrant, but he’ll be a tyrant nonetheless. So, in real terms, it’s a win-win for Bolton. He gets to make a big splash with his book and Trump cheats to re-election and maybe even forgives Bolton in his second term. Maybe Secretary of State? Lulz!

He Wants To Give More Cover For Republican Senators
If Bolton plays his cards right, the media narrative will be like that island where we’ll find gold once the last tree dies of natural causes. The general consensus will be on the part of Republican Senators that Bolton is the key to “knowing the truth” and on a political level they have a pass to acquit Trump because of this. Lulz!

So, again, we’re fucked. We’re totally, completely fucked. Barring something extra-political like Trump going nuts or MAGA overplaying its hand with anti-impeachment violence, Trump’s American Carnage vision will be a reality soon enough.

Debunking MAGA’s Bullshit Impeachment Defenses Of Trump

Shelton Bumgarner

by Shelton Bumgarner

So, here are the bullshit defenses of Trump I’ve seen on Twitter of late. All of them are really attempts to message the base. We’ll see how successful they are.

“No Due Process”
This defense muddles the rights someone has in a criminal case with what the Constitution affords a politician in the strictly political process of impeachment. They mix and match pieces of the Constitution to conflate things in the minds of the public. By definition, impeachment is a political process and as such, the whole thing is really basically partisan — especially in this era of extreme political tribalism and identity politics.

“Political Death Penalty”
This defense says that while what Trump did was bad, it wasn’t bad enough for the “political death penalty” of conviction in the Senate. This is complete and total bullshit because of what Trump is credibly accused of doing — not only trying to give himself political cover to pardon Paul Manafort and Mike Flynn, but to get dirt on Joe Biden to use against him in the 2020 campaign. What’s worse, Trump didn’t even want the dirt, he just wanted a public announcement on the part of the Ukrainians that they were looking into Biden. Trump remaining in office through the 2020 election doesn’t actually give me much confidence that there would be free-and-fair elections.

“Partisan Witch Hunt”
This is defense is bullshit because the facts are that Trump did, in fact, do what he’s accused of doing. What’s more Bill Clinton was impeached in large part because of an actual partisan conspiracy on the part of Linda Tripp, Lucianne Goldberg and Matt Drudge and Bill Clinton was impeached because of it, though not convicted. Two things can both be true — a lot of people hate Trump and Trump did, in fact, do something that warrants his impeachment and removal from office.

“Let The People Decide”
This defense goes hand in hand with the “bad but not worth impeachment, much less conviction” defense. This is complete bullshit because Trump’s proven that he loves, loves, loves to meddle in elections and if he’s politically pardoned again, he’s going to grow so brazen and emboldened that there won’t be any stopping his re-election by any means necessary. Which, of course, is pretty much what the person who uses this dumb defense actually really wants.

V-Log: Idle, Incoherent Rambling About #Impeachment & #Writing A #Novel

Some thoughts.

Impeachment Coverage Request: A Dynamic Chart Of The Status Of The Senate’s Sentiment On Impeachment

Shelton Bumgarner

by Shelton Bumgarner

I just don’t have the resources to do this myself. But here’s want I want.

— An intuitive, feature rich chart (a circle?) that you can study that gives the audience some sense of where each of the 100 Senators stand on impeachment.
— It would be set up so the one person who really has the most power in all of this — the 67th Senator — would be really focused on. Whomever falls as the 67 Senator relative to both party affiliation and alphabet would be the one person we would learn the most about.
— It would be dynamic, so it would change as we rush towards the actual trial and vote.

It’s just too complicated for me to do alone because the vote is done in alphabetical order, so Republicans and Democrats are scattered across the actual vote as it proceeds.

Chop, chop, someone do this.

Why The Racist, Misogynist Fascist MAGA Asshats Want The Whistleblower To Testify In Person So Bad

Now what.
Shelton Bumgarner

by Shelton Bumgarner

Trump’s going all in on having the Whistleblower come forth personally and testify in public — even though Trump himself was such a wussy he wouldn’t give Mueller in-person answers to his questions. But, then, hypocrisy is very on-brand for MAGA, so there you go.

Here are my person hot takes on why Trump’s so wrapped up in this idea of being able to see his foe on TV testifying in person before Congress.

They Want A Mueller Moment
What MAGA shitheads took away from Mueller’s “poor optics” during his testimony before Congress was they have a chance of winning not on the facts but because we live in a media age and how something plays on TV is far more important than anything else. Even though we have enough to impeach and convict Trump as it is — they think if they can only get the Whistleblower in front of Lindsey Graham for 11 hours, all their troubles will go away.

They Want To ‘Kavanaugh’ Him
MAGA fuckwits want to do to the Whistleblower what they feel was done to Justice Kavanaugh. They want to swap out policy differences for facts, however. They want to prove a point — at least in their own minds — that the only reason why Democrats were so hard on Kavanaugh is they did not have politics on their side so they played dirty. Given that Republicans hate that someone may have bested them at their own ratfucking (at least in their own minds) they have a near-sexual craving to repay the favor to Democrats. If they can get women screaming at Democrat Senators in elevators over some personal issue in the Whistleblower’s past, dipshit traitor Republicans will cackle themselves to sleep at night.

They Want To Focus Their Hate On Him Personally
This is kind of the darkest part of all of this. This is the worst case scenario. They are so wrapped up in their own overheated, overwrought rhetoric that they are blinded to what might happen if someone took it the wrong way and physically harmed the Whistleblower. (Hint — it would be bad politics, to say the least.) But in the moment, they don’t care. They have bloodlust at this point and when it sinks in what a horrific mistake they’ve made, it will be far, far too late. They will pontificate on how Trump was “just joking” and he “can’t be held responsible” for the actions of a mentally-ill person, but they will say in the same fucking breath that OBVIOUSLY we have to stop the impeachment process because people are dying.

A Most Dangerous Game — Republicans’ Trump Whistleblower Gotterdammerung Strategy

Our immediate political future.
Shelton Bumgarner

by Shelton Bumgarner

Well, buckle up. Trump’s now goading anyone who will listen to out the whistlebower so he can turn around and rant about every aspect of the poor guy’s life on Twitter. The fact that the guy’s name is bouncing around the MAGA-InfoWars Bullshit Echo Chamber and Trump feels he doesn’t have the political cover to do anything about it is obviously really beginning to eat away at him.

Trump allies keep queuing the information up for him to retweet — namely Sen. Rand Paul — and for some reason Trump’s yet to take the bait. So, what I predicted would happen is, in fact, happening. The pressure is now slowly rising. Trump is stoking it as much as possible, too. Since he can’t rant about the personal life of the whistleblower, he rants about how he can’t do it in the guise of how the press knows the name and won’t publicize t so he can get the poor guy murdered with a “joke.”

At this point, the issue how, exactly, the name becomes so widely known that Trump feels he can blurt it out on Twitter. This is when the Trump Train becomes the Crazy Train. If I was playing music at this part of the Trump movie, I would play Motorhead’s The Ace Of Spades over a montage of the procession of events we’re now seeing unfold before our very eyes. The average person — especially those not on Twitter — has no idea what is about to happen.

Trump is so very, very close to being comfortable ranting all day about every aspect of the whistleblower to such an extent that any normal non-fuckwit MAGA fascist racist misogynist — will be taken aback by how dangerous Trump’s rhetoric has become. It’s all going to come to a head one way another. Either Sen. Lindsey Graham calls on the whistleblower to testify in public under oath for 11 hours to distract from the impeachment process or the poor guy is literally murdered in cold blood by a fucking MAGA dipshit with an AR-15 who wants to martyr themselves for the Der Fuhrer.

Republicans will clutch their pearls and say the MAGA assassin was OBVIOUSLY mentally ill and the president can’t be held accountable for that guys actions, and besides, we OBVIOUSLY need to end the impeachment process immediately because people are dying.

While I generally have grown extremely jaded with Trump president, I have a least a minor amount of hope that if this unlikely — but not impossible — scenario occurs, Trump’s political days will be numbered. But, who knows, really.

All I do know is that things are on the cusp of growing far more surreal and dark than we could have ever imagined.

So What’s The Delay On MAGA Shitheads Outing The Trump Whistleblower?

Can’t impeach Trump if you’re talking about the whistleblower, now can you?
Shelton Bumgarner

by Shelton Bumgarner

When last we saw the rabid racist misogynist mob that is MAGA, they were teeheeing about learning the identity of the Trump whistle blower. As is my nature, I assumed the absolute worst-case scenario. And, as is also often the case, that worst-case scenario did not happen.

For the moment, outside of bullshit echo-chamber of the extreme Far Right, the Whistleblower continues to enjoy a measure of “practical obscurity.” This likely to change at any moment, however. I suspect what may be happening is two things. One, for the moment cooler heads have prevailed given that it’s like, a Federal crime and stuff, to out someone like the so-called Orange Crush. But I suspect I’m giving the shit head Republican leadership way, way, way too much credit. They’re probably doing extensive oppo on the guy was we speak.

They already have a few days worth of talking points built-in. Apparently the guy has some job-related connection to both Joe Biden and….gasp…Susan Rice. Republicans just babbling about that at the top of their lungs at every opportunity would cause Maggie Haberman of The New York Times to ever-so-seriously tell hayseed rubes like me in fly overstates that OBVIOUSLY Republicans are winning the impeachment messaging battle and Trump’s political genius shines through yet the fuck again. And, besides, you didn’t even read the link, did you, dipshit.

And that, in itself, may be true to a certain extent. But the issue of how, exactly, the poor guy’s name will be pushed into the mainstream is, in itself, a significant issue. I still think Trump, who has the willpower of a 2-year-old will blurt the name on Twitter one morning and “joke” that MAGA should teach the guy a lesson about crossing House Trump. (Or some sort of bullshit dog whistle nonsense.)

There’s a good chance the guy will be murdered in cold blood by a over zealous MAGA asshole with an AR-15 and then Republicans will have to, at long last, defend Trump murdering someone (indirectly.) They will say that Trump was joking and that he can’t be held responsible for the actions of someone who is obviously mentally unstable. But they will also babble on about how OBVIOUSLY we can’t continue the impeachment proceedings because people are getting hurt.

I would like to think this messaging won’t work but for maybe about 24 hours. As it sinks in what has just happened, you might see that only base-concentric political strategy come back to bite Trump and his sycophantic Republicans in the ass. What good is a cult base if the entire non-cult electorate hates you on an visceral level. I guess Republican Senators will believe that as long as they can get past the primary they still have a good shot in the general. And, of course, they must at least have some hope that a politically pardoned Trump will AGAIN directly meddle in the 2020 election and save their ass that way.

Remember, the moment Trump is acquitted, he’s going to become extremely brazen. He will bribe Electors. He will pardon anyone he wants to pardon. He will indict Joe Biden (or whomever). He will at last be free of any semblance of political restraint. The ICE Camps will be weaponized and he will began to rant about the need for a new Constitutional Convention to “balance the budget.”

I guess the point is, the stakes could not be higher when it comes to impeachment. The Republicans are so craven that they simply will not be able to control themselves now that they now the Whistleblower’s name. It’s just a matter of how and when at this point. They crave the opportunity to “kavanaugh” him to such an extent that Maggie Haberman is writing story after story about the poor guy’s character flaws since birth. The risk is, of course, that things will get out of control because, well, Donald Fucking Trump is a ranting lunatic.

The clock is ticking.

I welcome feedback. If you ain’t got haters, you ain’t poppin.

migukin (at) gmail (dot) com.

Fuck MAGA. Fuck Trump.

V-Log: Want To Start A #Podcast About #Impeachment

Please ping me on Twitter at @bumgarls if you’re interested.