Tag: Burn Hollywood Burn

I Have Got To Hurry Up

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

It definitely seems as though disaster could strike at any moment when it comes to this novel. Something might happen that either changes the context of the novel a great deal relative to my personal life or even makes the whole experience a lot more difficult to do.

I have some issues with my teeth that are really causing me growing alarm. I’m afraid there will come a point very, very soon when I’m in so much pain that it is difficult for me to get *any* writing done. That, combined with how I’m not going to live forever, is forcing me to push myself to write faster and better.

And all of this is happening in the context of not just the fucking Fourth Turning zooming towards us starting in late 2024, early 2025, but the very real possibility that all human art will be replaced by some sort of AGI in the near, near future.

All of this is a “Not great, Bob,” situation for someone like me who just wants to write a break out first novel that will be enjoyed by millions. (Wink.)

I Love Developing & Writing Female Characters, But The Process Can Be a Pain In The Ass As A Male Author

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

People love, love, love to pick on male authors for all being a bunch of clueless hornytoads when it comes to the female characters that they write. I’m so self-conscious of this issue that I over think everything to do with my female characters.

My heroine looks like Corrie Yee.
Then, of course, I turn around and turn my heroine into a part-time sex worker (stripper.) And given that I often write from a female POV, I find myself in a situation where I just can’t avoid talking about T&A, even though that’s the very thing that the fucking “woke cancel culture mob” things I have no right to describe at all as a CIS white middle age male.

But I dunno. It’s typical of my lot in life that I would inevitable gravitate straight towards the most problematic situation possible. And given that I’m a smelly CIS white middle age male, for some members of the “woke cancel culture mob” there just isn’t anything I can write that they would validate. So, fuck it, why not just endure the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune and see what happens.

I like to THINK that I can write about women as a male author that won’t be embarrassing or cause women in the audience to want to throw the book across the room. But the whole sex worker element of the novel definitely makes it a provocative novel in the context of how sexless the “woke cancel culture mob” tends to be.

I’m happen with what I’ve come up with. I know people will really enjoy this novel once I finish it. The question is, of course, will the liberal white women who are often literary agents be cool with not just the contents of this novel but the fact that it was written by a smelly CIS white middle aged male.

Miss Universe Sheynnis Palacios Has What It Takes To Be Hollywood Star

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m taken aback by how much star power Miss Universe Sheynnis Palacios has. It is easy to imagine her becoming the next big Latina star in Hollywood. I think she can speak English well enough to improve it to the point that she could speak English for English audiences.

Sheynnis Palacios

Stranger things have happened.

From the many, many Tik-Tok videos I’ve seen of her, she’s got It. She sparkles and I think she would be a great Bond Girl at some point in the near future. There is a lot for Hollywood to work with, provided, of course, that she can act. I still find it amusing that for her beauty Emrata just can not act. She’s got everything Hollywood could ask for in a starlet, but the ability to fucking acct.

But Palacios is an unknown. She’s definitely got an organic personality that seems like it might be the basis of a Hollywood career. But, who knows. Who knows about anything?

Oh Boy. I Hope Having A Lot of Organic ‘Spicy Scenes’ in The First Act Of This Novel Makes It A Page Turner

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I measure the development of this novel not in words but in scenes, with each scene being about 1,000 words. So, I’m aghast that my first act has ballooned to 60 scenes. If you assume 60 + 50 (25 + 25) + ~30….oh boy. If I assume 60 scenes for the first act, then about 50 scenes for the second act and maybe 30 scenes for the third act…I got a problem on my hands.

“I can’t wait forever!” — President of Hollywood
I have a real problem on my hand. That would be ~140,000 words. And, yet, maybe not. A lot will depend on how long each scene is and I wildly miscalculated that issue with the second draft. I came in at 80,000 words after allotting myself 100,000 words. The issue was that all many of third act scenes were really, really short.

There are three ways to solve this issue.

One is to just accept that I’m going to blow past the sweetspot of ~100,000 words and take comfort in the fact that The Girl On The Train is about 140,000 words. Another is to hope that I’ve totally misjudged things again and the story will somehow magically fit into the around 100,000 word range. And, last of all, is the most drastic — cut the thing into two.

I think my best bet at the moment is it just finish the novel then take an assessment. If I fall within around 140,000 words, then I think I’ll just fight for that vision and try to pick a novel of that length.

Or I might write another — maybe scifi — novel that DOES fit into the ~100,000 sweetspot and then once I sell that use the success of that novel to sell my first, longer novel.

The point is to 1) finish the novel 2) tell a good story.

Everything else can be taken care of later.

The Stripper With The Tattoo (Ugh)

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Just as I got finished writing a post about how I was paring back some of the more unique elements of my heroine’s appearance, I completely reversed myself. This happens all the time and it’s part of my creative process. I get really insecure about something, change my mind, then change it back when I grow more comfortable about whatever it was that was bothering me.

Anyway. For the time being, I know what my heroine looks like — Nicole Scherzinger in her early 30s. It’s not a perfect one to one, but, in general, that’s the general image I have in my mind as I write. And I’ve sprinkled in some magic fairy dust to make flesh out that general phenotype.

The reason why my heroine has a tattoo is specifically to tell the reader that a specific thing is REALLY important to her. Because it helps with plot and character, I’ve decided to put it back in, even though there was a moment there when I thought I should take it out.

Yes, President of Hollywood — time for me to put up or shut up.
But I’m really pleased with my heroine. I think she’s really engaging and interesting and people will want to spend some time with her — at least long enough to finish the damn novel.

I have very, very low expectations for this novel — no matter how good it is — because, lulz, I’m a bonkers middle age CIS white male living in the middle of no where who has never gotten anything published before.

Maybe it won’t be this novel, but my NEXT novel that I get published. But finishing this novel and it not suck will be the greatest accomplishment of my life to date.

If nothing else, my heroine is very unique and interesting. She’s definitely her own thing. And yet, she’s obviously influence by a combination of Lisbeth Salander, Fleabag, Mare of Easttown and Jlo in Hustlers. You know, the good stuff.

Now to finish the novel and bring her into the hearts and minds of (millions?) of people.

S1-D13-_-Pang-_-mysterious-postcard-RCL-work-day-1Download

My Heroine Continues To Be Refined

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Things are going really fast with this novel. But there’s one thing I find myself suddenly pondering in an unexpected way — what my heroine looks like. I had all this stuff about her thought out then something hit me. And that is the “hat on a hat” problem.

My heroine looks like a younger Nicole Scherzinger in my mind.
I know how this happened — the moment I put her in a position where she might be seen stripping “to relax” everything else needed to be rethought. As such, I’m pretty sure I’m going to pare back some elements of her appearance. She is already going to be “the girl who strips” and it would be a little too much for her to have a SECOND weird thing about her in the guise of some sort of tattoo that would serve as a mental marker in people’s minds.

I don’t like the idea that reviewers would simply say I was turning Lisbeth Salander into a stripper. Ugh.

So, I think any tattoos that my heroine has will be far more discrete than I originally imagined.

But I will note that I have a tendency to say one thing then do another when it comes to this novel. And, yet, I am starting to understand a number of elements of this novel a lot better. I’ve really fleshed out a number of secondary characters that before were rather meh.

I’m leaning into the idea that, lulz, a lot can change about a person over the course of 25 years, so it’s ok if I introduce a character one way and then they endup totally different at the end of the six novel project.

Anyway, because of personal and emotional turmoil caused by Thanksgiving, I fear I won’t get nearly as much work done on this novel as I’d like. Ugh. It’s so frustrating that I have to pause the novel while I wait for a private storm to pass.

The Sprint Begins

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m just about to lock down the first two chapters of the third draft of my first novel. It’s some of the best writing I’ve ever done. I’m really, really pleased. I just have to keep the quality of work up.

I’m never going to be Gillian Flynn, but I am at least getting closer to Stieg Larsson quality writing (I know I read his stuff translated). The key thing that changed in the last month or so is I’ve finally — finally — figured out the relationship between different people as the story opens.

As such, now I can zoom through the much of the novel. I still have a lot of issues with some structure ahead of me — especially in the third act –but, in general, I know this story so well that things writing *should* move at a pretty nice clip.

But there are some known unknowns. One is the holiday season is now here and that is going to scramble things on an emotional basis. Meanwhile, I’ve been in a very — VERY — idyllic situation when it comes to writing for a long time and that is bound to change — one way or another — sooner rather than later. I just have to accept that.

What’s more EVEN IF I stick the landing of this novel, the looming Fourth Turning and Petite Singularity starting in late 2024, early 2025 is something I’ve quite worried about. And that’s over and above what a stressful pain in the ass the querying process is on whole.

Anyway. Wish me luck.

A Character In Macro Focus

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I know, in general terms, the arc of a six novel project. As such, I’ve been forced into a corner in a number respects when constructing the first novel. There are a number of characters that I want to introduce in the first novel so we get to see them grow and change over the course of the six novels.

One character I’ve come up with is a woman who is just out of college as we open the first novel in late 1994. In my mind, she looks a lot like this:

Sadie Sink

As the story told in the six novels progresses, she slips in and out of the lives of the main characters that populate the various novels. In the end, about 25 years alter, she’s a tough-as-nails FBI agent that gives one of the main characters in the last two novels no end of trouble.

She looks looks like this:

Jessica Chastain
NEW YORK, NY – DECEMBER 04: Actress Jessica Chastain attends the “Zero Dark Thirty” New York Photo Call at Ritz Carlton Hotel on December 4, 2012 in New York City. (Photo by Cindy Ord/Getty Images)

Holy Shit Is Elizabeth Debicki A Babe

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I have an eye for beauty. And the Hollywood ingenue who has caught my attention recently is Elizabeth Debicki. She is freakish tall and yet drop dead gorgeous.

Elizabeth Debicki

It’s those legs, bruh. She — and those legs of hers — first caught my attention in Tenant. Man, oh man. Stunning. I wonder if she’s an actress who is cool with showing off her best asset on screen or if she is actually really modest and doesn’t like to show off her legs.

It’s a mystery!

Anyway. I wish her the best. I’m really short compared to her, but she’s still stunning.

It Seems Possible The Hollywood Industrial Complex Isn’t Unaware Of My Dream

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

First, let me be clear — it’s extremely flattering if *anyone* connected to Hollywood or the literary world is in any way looking at this blog. I’m so living in oblivion at the moment that just the hint of such a thing being possible is enough to make my week — month?

The President of Hollywood
I only say this because of some rather odd pings in the depths of this blog, as if a lot is going on with the blog that I’m not seeing. I mean, why would someone give a shit about a whole page of me just idly talking on video in vague terms about a novel in this series? (The earlier you go in posts, the more likely the novel I’m talking about is actually the two novels that come from one big story that makes up the last two novels in a projected six novel series.)

I’m so blasé about all of this that I don’t even care that much. I mean, it would be *nice* if they were keeping tabs on this blog because they thought the general premise of the novel was cool and accessible. I’d prefer they not be looking at this blog because they want to take the premise I’ve come up as the premise of a screenplay.

But, I know this novel is getting really good. It’s really, really different and unexpected because it treats stripping in a rather matter-of-fact kind of way. It validates sex work in a non-salacious manner. Which, I think, will really appeal to women readers.

Even if I am a smelly CIS white male.