Tag: Sydney Sweeney

Is My Scifi Dramedy WIP Novel’s Comp…Euphoria?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Well, if nothing else, I suppose this novel might catch the eye of Sydney Sweeney if it actually gets published. There is a lot of spicy content in this novel, but I’d like to think that it’s done in such a matter-of-fact, droll fashion that it won’t turn off too many people.

I hope.

At the same time, there’s a chance that despite the spicy content, some starlet like Sydney Sweeney may be willing to be an android stripper in a Hollywood movie inspired by my novel.

But, I don’t know. It’s one of those things that could go either way. It could be that this novel is just too spicy to even past muster to get published since most literary agents — at least in my imagination — are liberal white women who might blanch at all the spicy content.

Or, at least, that a man is writing it.

That’s why I see this novel as a exploratory novel. I’m going to test the waters of how, exactly, I will go through the querying process. Then the NEXT novel, maybe, the one that has less obvious sex in it, might be the one I get published. But I’m kind of running out of time.

If I don’t hurry up and get something, anything done, I’m going to be in my 60s before I might be able to hold a novel in my hands that actually was found on bookshelves. And all of this is happening in the context of the fucking Singularity rushing towards us.

Ugh.

The MAGA Right’s Fixation On Sydney Sweeney

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Not since the worst of the 2016 campaign slugfest silly season have I seen the MAGA Right go nuts. These days, two things have them completely consumed — Sydney Sweeney’s ass and the Cracker Barrel rebrand.

Let’s talk about Sweeney. Unlike Taylor Swift who was aghast that the Nazi MAGA Right tried to claim her as their “own,” Sweeney seems ok with that to a degree. She stays silent, at least.

A lot of why the MAGA Right loves her so much is they’re fucking Nazis and they like that she’s blonde. It also helps that she is all T&A as well. But the case could be made that it’s more about her being blonde than anything else.

MAGA Nazis sure do hate black and brown people. Someone on Twitter said that there were two reasons for MAGA: rich people did not want to pay taxes and conservative men couldn’t get laid.

I would suggest a third issue — racism and bigotry, pure and simple.

And that all comes about because of race insecurity. (Conservative) white people are freaking out that the USA will be minority majority soon and they would rather burn the country — and our democracy — to the ground than accept it. They really, really want a white Christian ethnostate.

I just have no solution to this problem, folks. These are macro issues we’re dealing with and there’s just no easy solution. Either we slide into autocracy or we have a revolution / civil war.

The Curious Case Of Sydney Sweeney

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The fact that Sydney Sweeney is so popular at the moment definitely gives one pause for thought. We have to think about the meta of it all. I seem to recall the idea that in good economic times — or at least a good stock market, more “full figured” women are popular in mass media.

Sydney Sweeney

The thing about Sweeney is she is MAGA coded, as much as she tries not to be. So, in a sense, she may be one of the few young “four quadrant” Hollywood stars out there. She can “play” like a Blue center-Left cultural figure, but all the MAGA knuckle draggers know her background and know she’s actually one of them.

Or something. Something like that. What the fuck do I know.

If It Wasn’t Taking Me So Long To Simply Finish The Novel, I Might Daydream About Sydney Sweeney Playing A Character In The Movie Adaptation

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’ve talk about this before, but as I write this novel, there is a character that I keep imagining Sydney Sweeney playing in any hypothetical movie adaptation. It is comical for me to any propose such a thing at this point in the process — I haven’t even finished the fucking novel yet.

But I’m a fan of Ms. Sweeney and daydreaming about such things give me a brazen excuse to show you a picture of her.

Sydney Sweeney

She’s a real babe — as you can tell — and she’s exactly the phenotype that I have rolling around in my head as I write a secondary character in this novel. The character is kind of a wild child who serves as both a little bit of comic relief and a “truth teller” who helps move the plot along.

But, as I said, I’m being silly to even worry about such things at the moment. I just think Ms. Sweeney is hot and I wrote this post as an excuse to show a picture of her.

As I’ve Said Before, If This Novel Is A Success, Hollywood Actresses Are Going To Dig It

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Hollywood actresses are a curious bunch. While there’s no easy equation that explains all of their psychology, in general — especially as they get older — such actresses love to run around emotionally and psychologically naked using their roles.

You do you, baby.

This causes “good girls” like Natalie Portman to play a stripper in Closer. This leads some actresses who are probably bi-sexual to play many, many lesbian roles where they get to pretend to fuck another woman under the guise of “acting!”

In short, a lot of Hollywood actresses are freaks — in a good way. More power to them.

My heroine looks a lot like a younger version of Nicole Scherzinger.

Anyway, I only bring this up because my novel has a number of character in it that I could see actresses loving. My heroine is a really complex woman who would allow them to bounce back and forth between being a professional journalists / publisher and being the owner of a strip club / occasional stripper.

Have I got a role for you!

Meanwhile, I have the “comic relief” character who is wide open sexually and keeps causing trouble for the more “serious” characters by how unwilling she is to abide by the traditional gender power dynamic.

But I am really getting ahead of myself. Way, way ahead of myself. I have to finish the fucking novel first. I’m really, really pleased with how things are going, but I still have to stop fucking DRIFTING towards my goal and actually buckle down and get some work done sooner rather than later.

Sydney Sweeney, Call Your Agent (Eventually?)

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Now, let me be clear — everything continues to be in flux with the novel I’m working on. But, at the moment, it seems as though it’s possible I’ve stabilized the first few chapters of the third draft of the novel. And among the characters I’ve come up with is a young woman who I think I’m going to model physically after Sydney Sweeney.

I am well aware that even when you finish a screenplay you’re not suppose to have any specific actor in mind when you create a story. But, lulz, I’m just mentally masturbating at this point.

But the character I’ve come up with is pretty interesting. And I could see the character — who is quite colorful — might be a fan favorite, if the novel ever gets sold and has, like, uhhh….fans?

Anyway, the issue of this novel being a bit too “sex positive” continues to linger in my mind. But I’ve decided the direction of this novel and there’s a sex worker angle to it that I had no idea it would have up until recently. But part of the point of having so much spicy content is it helps encourage me to finish the damn novel.

Why Sydney Sweeney’s Career May End If The US Defaults

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

While I’m definitely a fan of blonde bombshell Sydney Sweeney, I’m growing a bit alarmed that if the US defaults because of dickhead Republicans that her current white-hot career may crash and burn as a direct result.

I say this because Sweeney’s phenotype is very much a representation of America being pretty prosperous, all things considered. She’s got Marilyn Monroe curves and if we suddenly get thrown into a severe economic crisis because the US defaults on its bills…oh boy.

It could be that virtually overnight, American audiences will turn to women who are more…Twiggy than Sweeney in their phenotype. But let me be clear — I’m usually wrong and this could be another instance of just that: me being wrong.

But I would suggest that if the United States does default that it’s just another road towards some sort of clusterfuck in late 2024, early 2025. I don’t know what that Fourth Turning clusterfuck might be, but it’s going to be big. If the US defaults, then the it’s possible it won’t be a National Divorce we have to worry about but something closer to a Revolution. And it won’t be from the Right, but from the Left.

Remember, Reds are politically ascendant. They have absolutely no reason to start a civil war or a revolution. Meanwhile, there are plenty of patriotic, America-loving people like me who are growing fucking fed up with the racist, misogynistic goals of MAGA.

Anyway, hopefully we won’t default and Ms. Sweeney will have a career that continues to do quite well.

My Hot Take On Sydney Sweeney As The New ‘Barbarella’ 

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

In a clear sign that the old Hollywood adage, “Nobody knows nothing” when it comes to making movies we learn today that Sydney Sweeney is going to star in a remake of the extremely campy 60s movie Barbarella.

Sydney Sweeney

And, unto itself, there’s no problem with that. I’m sure she’ll do a great job and more than a few young men’s puberty will begin when they see the opening scene of Sydney Sweeney as Barbarella slowly taking all her clothes off in zero G.

My only complaint is not that Sydney Sweeney is starring, but that the obvious choice to play a modern day Barbarella — Miley Cyrus — was not chosen instead. Cyrus looks and acts like 60s Jane Fonda and is definitely as big a wild child as Fonda was in the 1960s.

Or, put another way, Sydney Sweeney just doesn’t jump to mind as someone to play Barbarella the way that Cyrus does.

Anyway. No one listens to me, anyway.

My Hot Take On The Sydney Sweeney MAGA Kerfuffle

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

As someone who has a lot of Traditionalists in my family, I feel Sydney Sweeney’s pain when it comes to having family members whose politics you disagree with. While no one in my family wears red MAGA caps, the situation is similar.

And, yet there is also the Germany expression about how if you have 12 people at a table — 11 Nazis and 1 non-Nazi — you have 12 Nazis at the table. Seeing all those MAGA people in Sweeney’s family and the public’s reaction to it definitely gives us a reminder of how polarized America is at the moment.

But I do think we should give her a pass. She can’t be held responsible for the political views of her relatives. That’s just life. We all have to deal with how we can be different than people we’re related to. That’s a universal problem and we just have to accept that it’s possible that while she loves her relatives, she can also totally disagree with their politics.

This particular controversy is definitely an indication of how America is, in general, spiraling towards a very dark future. If politics starts to tear families apart, we definitely are entering a new antebellum era. But, for the most part, I would just say, “Sydney Sweeney alone.”