While it feels like I keep spinning my wheels with this third draft of the novel, something really intriguing is beginning to take shape. I *think* I may have come up with an interesting way to cause a lot of drama — my heroine has two men in her life.
I imagine my heroine looking like a younger version of Nicole Scherzinger.
Each one represents a different thing in her mind and heart. One represents the past, while the other represents the future. One represents the stripping part of her life, while the other represents the journalistic part of her life.
Or something. Something like that. It’s not a perfect fit, but just thinking in those terms is making my insight into the character a lot easier.
I’ve also of late been doing a lot of “outside the box” thinking about which POVs I use, which should come handy later on. I’m really giving people a sense of character when it comes to the unlikely “investigative team” by heroine ultimately assembles to solve the mystery she’s confronted with.
The key thing is I’m kind of in put-up-or-shut-up mode at the moment. I’m not getting any younger — Stieg Larsson dropped dead at my age — and I really, really need to push myself harder. I have to get into the second act as quickly as possible while still maintaining high quality copy.
And that doesn’t even begin to address how I want to dip into screenwriting now as well. But, lulz, I’m being delusional like always, I guess.
I’m a storytelling snob. So much so, that it’s now nearly impossible for me to consume anyone else’s story. But, at last, I believe I may — may — have at last stumble upon a beginning to my novel that actually pleases even me.
Now, remember, I’m not nearly as dark as my hero Stieg Larsson. And it can be a real struggle for me to play it straight — I like to plop in some humor every now and again. I just can’t help myself.
Anyway. It is at least possible that things will zoom along at a pretty fast clip now. I’ve had to grit my teeth and break or bend some of the dumb arbitrary rules I’ve been using to write this novel simply so I can actually finish something, anything.
I am embarrassed by how long it’s taken me to get to this point. I now hope to finish the third draft in the February – March timeframe. Then I will have to figure out how to pay a manuscript consultant to help me take the thing to the next level.
The case could be made that my heroine looks kind of like Pom Klementieff.
What’s more all of this will be happening in the context of the United States careening towards autocracy or civil war / revolution starting in late 2024, early 2025 — just as I plan on querying the novel!
But I have hope. I hope that if I can sell this first novel, I will somehow be given the opportunity to not only write the other five planned novels, but also a few scifi novels I want to write. And maybe, if I’m EXTREMELY LUCKY, a few screenplays too.
So. I have a little bit of a problem on my hands at the moment.I’m very leery about having any “spicy” maternal too soon in the third draft of my first novel. But that, unto itself, has caused me to struggle with how to drag things out with interesting scenes.
I have a few ideas, but it’s really difficult at the moment to think of how I can convey what I want to convey without things getting spicy. You see, my heroine is very much a “Barry”-like character in that she had two widely different elements to her life.
On one hand, she owns an alt-weekly and on the other…she owns a strip club.
Because I’m doing all of this in a vacuum, I have no idea if the audience will really like this dramatic dichotomy or if it will only cause them — especially women — to throw the book across the room.
But that’s where I am at the moment. The second draft only alludes to this unique situation, while the third draft really gets into the implications of such a surreal bifurcation of a woman’s life. And, yet, of course, the issue of why even have this as an element of the novel in the first place is another thing that the fucking woke cancel culture mob critics will bring up.
Well, to that, all I can say is, if you think like that — fuck off.
Anyway, I’ve decided to punt the sexxy scenes down the road as far as possible because I want to establish in the audience’s mind that this is a serious journalist we’re talking about. And, besides, if I rushed into things on the sexxy front, the first thing that the “woke cancel culture mob” would bitch and moan about is I was sexualizing my heroine from the get-go.
Ugh, sometimes you just can’t win.
But I’m very pleased with the state of the third draft. I just have to do a lot — A LOT — of brooding about how to make the “filler” scenes interesting enough that people will keep reading, not realizing that I’m biding my time to give them the mental images of T&A they want so bad.
Of course, given the nature of marketing, if I do actually manage to sell this novel, it’s not like people aren’t going to already know what’s going on as they start to read the novel.
There was a version of the first scene of the third draft of the novel where the novel passed the fucking Bechdel Test. I unfortunately(?) had to re-write it to add some tension the scene.
And, yet, given how many women are in this novel it definitely seems inevitable that there will come a point when it passes the Bechdel Test. I wish I could feel some satisfaction in doing so, confident in the knowledge that I have passed an ever-so-important metric of the woke cancel culture mob.
AND YET.
I AM a smelly CIS white male and, as such, according to the woke cancel culture mob, by definition, I have no write to do anything. I can’t even give them the representation they claim to want because, lulz…I’m a white dude. That’s why I always get angry when I’m attacked online by people to the Left of me.
“I’m on your side!” I think.
I don’t know what to tell you. The two sides are receding from each other at an alarming rate. There’s just no middle ground anymore. Sometimes I am astonished by how self-defeating the woke cancel culture mob can be. While, in general, I’m pretty center-Left, too often “woke” people seem so consumed by their ideological goals that they miss sight of how they’re driving a lot of people who believe they’re “centrist” into the arms of fucking fascism.
After years of dwelling on the nature of my heroine, I feel as though I’ve finally managed to come up with a woman who is really, really unique. Because I continue to do all of this in a vacuum, I am at a loss as to what people’s reaction to her might be.
My heroine of my first novel looks like a younger version of Nicole Scherzinger
Remember, by definition, because I’m a smelly CIS white male there will be members of the woke cancel culture mob who dismiss my right to tell the story I want to tell. I’m supposed to just stick to writing from a male POV and otherwise shut up. This happens, of course, in the context of “intersectional feminists” complaining about not enough representation in fiction.
In fact, I listened to an entire Slate podcast where two women were angry about how not enough women, POC and LGBTQ+ people were in positions of power in Hollywood. That’s all well and good and I validate those concerns, but I found myself growing a little insecure — what if a CIS white male like me makes a good faith effort to tell a story about a POC woman?
Is that “representation” or is that “exploitive appropriation?”
I am really self-conscious about that potential criticism being lobbed at me. But it’s too late now. I had no idea of the cultural minefield I was wondering into when I decided I wanted my heroine to be a POC. And, what’s more, I only relatively recently realized there was some sort of woke taboo against against a man writing from a female POV.
Ugh.
But, having said all that, I do think I’ve come up with not one but TWO heroines (over the course of six novels) who are just as interesting, in their own way, as Lisbeth Salander. In the end, you just can’t please everyone, especially not members of the woke cancel culture mob who have all these weird ideological demands for any art they consume.
Oh boy. I know, in general, my heroine’s phenotype, but when it comes to her hair I’m having a real struggle. There is so much I can do with what she does with her hair that I find myself at a loss as to what I think would be the best option.
I vacillate widely from moment to the next about how she does her hair as the story opens. In this third draft, I’m really taking how I introduce my heroine a lot more seriously. I don’t want to sexualize her in any sort of gratuitous way because if I did anything like that there would be “woke” portions of the audience that would that would pitch a fucking fit.
They would say I’m just another horny CIS white male who is wants to fuck my heroine and is obsessed with boobs. As such, I am really self-conscious about how much I talk about my heroine’s appearance. And, yet, at the same time, I want to give readers a clear understanding in their mind’s eye of…her appearance.
My heroine kind of looks like this in my mind’s eye.
As a CIS white male writing from the POV of a female POC it’s kind of a no win situation. Woke people just want me to drop dead, not try to give them the representation they claim to want in their fiction. Only transgender, undocumented Mexicans can tell the type of stories I want to tell. Forgive me, I’m a bit grumpy and tipsy at the moment.
Anyway, you have to give me credit for at least understanding the sticky wicket I’m wading into. I get it. I’m a CIS white male, a member of the patriarchy and I should just shut up and let women and POC tell stories. But I’m an asshole and have a story to tell.
I’m trying to be as empathetic as possible, all things considered.
I’m extremely paranoid and self-conscious when it comes to writing the female characters in this novel I’m working on. My greatest fear is that I’ll somehow get some element of being a woman wrong and I’ll be held up by some Tik-Toker as yet another example of how men shouldn’t even write female characters at all.
My heroine looks like a younger version of Olivia Munn.
Ugh.
Just in the last few days, I’ve had two notable instances of this situation come up.
One was I have a very specific vision of what my heroine looks like and, as a part of that, I want to convey to the reader some sense of her bosom. Now, some context — Stieg Larsson spent an entire scene going into detail about Lisbeth Salander’s relationship to her breasts, so it’s not like it can’t be done. My fear is that in my quest to give the audience a clear understand on that front, that some of the squeaky wheels reading will think I’m obsessed with boobs. (But, in all honesty, who isn’t?)
I’ve managed to figure out a few ways of indicate what I want to show the audience without wallowing in gratuitous verbiage about breasts.
Meanwhile, the other issue I’ve had to address dealt with periods. I have a really interesting provocative scene that talks about that issue head on, but I’ve kind of been stressed out all day about it because I was afraid that there was some aspect of it all that I just was missing. I finally talked to a woman about the specific plot point I was concerned about and she assured me I had it right.
Anyway, I fear that, by definition, any attempt on my part to write about women will be poo-pooed by some of the more “woke” elements of the audience for no other reason than I’m a “CIS white male.” If I had some other, more exotic background they wouldn’t blink an eye.
If you want to see how fucked up American politics are, look no further than the issue of “protect trans kids.” Because of all the disinformation flying around this issue — from both sides — I’ve given some serious thought to what I think about the issue.
The key take away from this particular clusterfuck is….there really aren’t that many “trans kids” to protect. It’s not like there are thousands of children who are demanding they take the medical steps necessary to transition. There are a lot of sexually confused kids — like there have always been since the dawn of time — who don’t know what they are or what they want and they’re being used as pawns on “both sides” to make political points.
Because the Left makes a big deal about “protect trans kids,” the Right flips out that there are “trans kids” that need to be “protected” in the first place.
The whole thing is very very fucked up because, from my experience, if you don’t cling to the established center-Left narrative about “protect trans kids” even though there really aren’t that many trans kids to protect….you are in for shit ton of trouble. From both sides! Either the Left things you’re Satan, or the Right demands you becoming just as hysterical as they are about this issue — and other culture war issues — for them to accept you.
Ugh. Fuck all that.
I totally validate the alarm and anger that a lot of Trans Rights advocates have stimming from violence and all that. My only concern is maybe be a little less crazy when it comes to demanding everyone hone to the extremist dictates of the “protect trans kids” narrative.
There is so much to unpack about Blazing Saddles. And I’m lazy and don’t want to give this post the proper research, so think of this as more of a off-the-top-of-the-head vibe check than something you might find on, say Vox.
Anyway, the misguided discourse about Blazing Saddles is it “couldn’t be made today” because it uses the N-word and all that. The people who say such things usually are older, white and get “triggered” by just the mere mention of the term “woke.”
But that is A LOT going on with this movie.
The chief thing is the context in which the movie was made. The movie was intended to be a critique of white racism. And, yet, because it came out a long time ago and because of how Blue and Red no longer interact with each other unless they’re screaming at each other, Reds think that the fact that the movie “couldn’t be released today” is a sign of the decline and fall of Western civilization.
This brings up to interesting questions.
One is, would these “anti-woke” MAGA people feel the same way if, instead of being “triggered,” “cultural Leftists” embraced this hypothetical version of the movie being released today? I mean, white people — and specifically the type of people you consider MAGA — are portrayed in the movie as racist morons. The very thing that MAGA is very, very touchy about being considered today. So, the pining after this movie on the part of MAGA is a result of a lost of context — they’re taking broad, anti-racist satire at face value and liking what they see.
Which brings up the SECOND point.
Given the misguided and conflated understanding of the movie that MAGA has — that it being released was a symbol of when America was “great,” what does that mean about MAGA? Why is MAGA so eager to be able to say the N-word if they don’t think of themselves of racist? Why are MAGA people so angry and aggrieved all the time?
The answer is, of course, that MAGA is a symptom, a side effect of the loss of power by straight white Christian men. (I fucking hate MAGA, by the way.)
Anyway. You could pretty much write a 10,000 word New Yorker article about this movie and still not convince some MAGA people that they’re missing the entire point of the movie!
What I can compare it to is how women’s fashion magazines sometimes have nudity, but all some dudes see — despite the context — is “tits and ass.”
Introduction Whenever someone tries to seriously discuss the concept of “being woke” one has to make it clear that it’s a concept largely defined by people who hate it. And, they themselves, really have no idea what it means. The definition of “woke” is, thus, one of just “vibes.”
In fact, the self-appointed definers of “woke” — mostly MAGA conservatives — want there to be no clear definition so everything and nothing can be “woke” as is necessary to “own” the libs. Much like how MAGA Republicans refuse to tell us when, in fact, America was “great,” so, too, do these self-same Republicans refuse to give us any clear definition of what “to be woke” is.
As such, we’re left rummaging through the often very dumb, very vacuous arguments made by MAGA Republicans when they want to juice the base to vote. So, with that in mind, let’s address the issue at had, “What is woke?”
Terror By Vibe It seems clear to me that the entire notion of “wokness” says more about MAGA Republican conservatives than it does the word itself. Much of the hysterical rhetoric about “wokeness” on the part of Republicans is a direct, kneejerk reaction to the combination of the browning of America and the growing economic power of women.
What’s more, if you scramble all of this in the blinder of the greater Fox News and conservative podcast echo chamber, you end up in a situation where people who should know better will tell you with a straight face that “libs” “love” abortions to the point that they’re practicing infanticide. In fact, in my discussion with my conservative relatives — who I love dearly — it definitely seems as though a lot of the outrage over “wokeness” is more anger over how modern society talks about in a very public manner things they feel should be kept private and secret.
So, these people who are so upset about abortion or the gay movement probably don’t mind that either one exists, but they ARE upset at what they perceive is the very public woke agenda on these topics. This is all an extension of how conservative Republicans want to establish an autocratic white Christian ethnostate — sometimes without even realizing that that is, in fact, what they want.
In short, they find the “woke” movement…annoying.
They just know, in general, they hate people who are “woke” — even though they really don’t know what “being woke” means. They just do a vibe check on the issues important to “woke” people and get upset that anyone would think such a thing.
In short, conservative (MAGA) Republicans find woke people really, really annoying for any number of reasons. They neither understand them nor, in some cases, even want to be in the same Union with them.
‘Go Woke, Go Broke’ One thing that any discussion of “being woke” has to mention is there is, in fact, a small but vocal portion of the liberal-progressive movement that has such a narrow minded, strict orthodox about certain issues that they drive traditional conservatives into the arms of fascists.
Take, for instance, the transgender movement.
There is a lot of talk about “protecting trans kids” within “woke” liberal-progressive circles which causes MAGA Republicans to, in turn, freak out at the idea that there are even “trans kids” to be “protected” in the first place. From what I can gather, the idea of “trans kids” is extremely muddled and misleading.
While, yes, growing number of children under 18 are identifying as “trans” the number of children actually transitioning is near zero, if not, in fact, zero. But because woke people run around screaming about how need to “protect trans kids,” MAGA bigots assume such “gender affirming care” must be happen all the time, when, in fact, it’s not.
But it suits the purposes of the all those MAGA conservative podcasts with time to fill and advertisements to sell, so they talk and talk and talk and talk about something that really doesn’t even exist — children under 18 medically changing their gender.
Those libs aren’t going to own themselves, you know.
There is a lot — A LOT — of pretty basic moralism involved in all of this, as well. It’s all vibes, in other words. As Blues grow more secular and brown, Reds grow more Christian and white (and old.) This is where the Gay Scare we’re currently experiencing is coming from. There are MAGA Republicans who feel, by definition being a member of the LGBQ+ community is a “sin” and, as such, the way a long of Gen Z seem to see being gay as aspirational fills them with horror. These MAGA Republicans just want people to be filled with the Holy Spirit and stop messing around with people of the same sex.
And, this is a very important element to all of this — the reason why Republicans hate democracy is they KNOW that they’re losing a demographic battle and, as such, they would rather turn America into an autocratic white Christian ethnostate than do some soul searching and change their policies so they can win elections fair and square.
This is a point too often missed by smug Twitter liberals who seem to feel just being a keyboard warrior online is somehow going to change anything.
There Is No Endgame I’m not going to give you an pat solutions to the battle over being “woke.” There are none. All I got is the whole battle over “being woke” is a luxury of living in a peaceful, wealthy liberal democracy. When that is no longer the case — when things grow more….existential…then, lulz, the last thing we’re going to have time or energy for is fighting over the proper use of someone’s “pronouns.”
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