Month: July 2021

Here’s My Contribution To The ‘Cat Person’ Discourse


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Before we begin, let me be clear — I started reading the short story “Cat Person” but it hit too close to home on a personal level so I stopped. (Even though it’s a very short story.) Also, I’m just too lazy to do even the most basic of Google search for some details on this subject — think of this as just my impressions on things.

The thing about the short story “Cat Person” is it struck the zeitgeist at just the right moment. It was, as I recall, the height of the #MeToo “moment” and the story resonated with a lot of women who were enraged by men and thought they were all, collectively, a piece of shit.

Anyway, we now learn that a lot of the short story’s characterizations were lifted straight from real life. I’m writing a series of novels at the moment and so I have a lot to say about such things. I have stripped mined my personal life — and the lives of a number of other people — for plot points and characterizations. But all but one of instance of this is so out of context and garbled that it’s not a one-to-one type situation. A lot people I have met over the years would know that this or that quirk or trait of a character was based on them, but it’s not like the entire character is them.

But for one character.

One character is pretty much literally based on the late Annie Shapiro. Ms. Shapiro greatly changed my life while we were both in Seoul. The story of what happened between us is so interesting that over the years, I’ve repeatedly attempted to tell it both literally and in fiction. The literal version of I’m deeply embarrassed about — I had no right do that — and the various fictional versions were either failed or just bad.

But the series of books I’m working on now are much, much, much better than anything else I’ve worked on. And, as I mentioned, a very important character in the series is based on Ms. Shapiro. She’s dead, so I figured I’m not hurting anyone by doing this and also she was one of the most unique individuals I’ve ever met so I’m trying to honor her memory, not hurt it.

Anyway, I’m a pretty unique person, so I know that it’s very possible that someone could base a character on ME and the characterization is unlikely to be very kind. I could totally see someone using me as the basis of a villain in a fictional story, given what Ms. Shapiro and I went through in Seoul with ROKon Magazine. I was drinking a lot back then and also the stress of running the magazine really, really got to me. I was not in a good place. Ms. Shapiro and I hurt each other a lot in various ways and I was angry at her for a long time.

But her death devastated me. RIP, kid.

Now that I know the background of “Cat Person” I pause to reflect on my responsibilities as a writer. Is anyone going to get mad if I base a character of a dead person? And what about all the other people I’ve borrowed aspects of their personality and physical features from? I should be ok, I think, given how garbled it all is.

It is interesting, however, how loaded the “Cat Person” short story has become. It’s become something of a totem for men and women and how they view relationships in different ways. I can only hope for that much cultural relevancy with the series I’m working on.

Let’s Unpack J.D. Vance’s Fears of ‘Cancel Culture’


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Oh boy. There’s a lot to unpack with this Axios profile of J.D. Vance’s Senate campaign in Ohio. Here’s the part that sticks out for me:

Vance told me in a phone interview from Cincinnati that so-called cancel culture was a big part of conservatives’ conversations as he worked Fourth of July parades over the holiday weekend.

“People are terrified that if they speak their minds about what’s going on in the country, they’re going to lose their job,” he said. “‘If I say that I voted for Trump on Facebook, somebody’s going to try to get me fired.”

This abstract fear is something I hear a lot from my conservative relatives. Because MAGA has no policies that are popular outside their own bullshit echo chamber, they latch on to the vague unease that a lot of people feel about “cancel culture” (whatever the fuck that is.)

To me, the crazy thing about all of this everyone benefits by having a liberal democracy that has an ebb and flow to it. But that’s now how MAGA cocksuckers see things — they want to take power and never let go because they fear the browning of America, or women with economic and sexual agency, the list goes on.

So that abstract conservative fear that their life will be ruined for just being conservative is what MAGA has hung its entire political future on. MAGA talking points have now completely consumed the conservative to the point that my conservative-but-not-MAGA relatives pretty much echo all the major MAGA complaints without even realizing it.

One thing that I struggle with is — how real is, in practical terms, “cancel culture.” I have one conservative relative who can tick off half a dozen concrete examples of conservatives being canceled, and, yet, I also think his abstract fears of cancel culture are extremely recursive. In my center-Left experience, there are very few examples of honest-to-God average conservatives who have had their lives ruined “just for being conservative.”

The problem, of course, the divide between MAGA and everyone else has grown so enormous that we can’t even agree on what is acceptable public behavior. I mean, is it ok for a police official to donate $20 to the defense fund of a 17-year-old serial murder because they supported his political agenda? (The crybaby defense that it was “leaked” doesn’t hold much water since Republicans seem to get off on using leaked e-mails for political gain.)

The real problem is a massive difference in perception. Or, put another way, the media narrative of Trumplandia is so dramatically different from the media narrative of everyone else that it’s like talking to someone from a political Upside Down. Or, even more specifically, negative polarization is now so absolute that MAGA’s political foundations are now 100% recursive and abstract.

I Struggle With The End Of The Victoria’s Secret Show


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

When it comes to the demise of the annual Victoria’s Secret show I’m reminded of Oliva Wilde’s movie Booksmart. I fucking hated, hated HATED that fucking movie, but I also knew I wasn’t the audience. The audience was a GenZ bi-curious girl living in a purple suburb.

So, obviously not me.

And, in all honesty, it’s not like I actually sat down and watched the Victoria’s Secret show on TV. I was aware of it each year, saw clips on YouTube and that was it. But something about it becoming culturally untenable rubs me the wrong way.

I totally get that wealthy liberal women in metropolitan areas are now so woke that they now either spend money on a Peloton or, in general, just want lingerie that is more representative of how most women really look. Ok, I can accept that.

And, yet, it makes me sad that “lingerie needs to be more representative” is mutually exclusive with the glamor and allure of Victoria’s Secret. Why can’t all the various body types — including the traditionally hot ones — be celebrated? Why, by definition, is a stunning woman in lingerie a bad thing?

Anyway, no one listens to me. But the people who want to “slay the patriarchy” are doing themselves no favors by “canceling” something as popular and easily-to-understand as the Victoria’s Secret show. While it might allow “woke” people to feel smug that another oppressive aspect of the patriarchy has been felled there are a lot of men — and women — who are like me.

What Is The MAGA Endgame?


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

A lot of macro political trends are careening towards coming to a head around January 2025 when Congress is set to certify the vote of the next presidential election. That I have to worry this much about what happen at that point is pretty deep because it indicates that we’ve reached the point where each Federal election is existential.

Our future.

If Republicans gain power again, that’s all she wrote — we’re well on our way to becoming an autocratic managed democracy like Russia.

But I struggle to understand what, in concrete terms, MAGA wants. Whenever I talk to my conservative relatives, they give me a lot of abstract fears and that’s it. They want to end Cancel Culture. They want a secure border. They don’t want children to experience the horrors of Critical Race Theory. But what does any of that actually mean?

Republicans are such fucking fascists now that we have to stop hoping this or that thing is going to save us. No one is going to save us. We have to save ourselves. Republicans, on an existential, institutional basis no longer believe in democracy and want the very thing I fear — autocracy.

They want minority political rule and an end to the natural ebb and flow of a liberal democracy. They want a one party state where THEY are “just left alone” but dem dar libtards are sent to Trump branded ICE re-education camps or push out a window.

I also still struggle to understand what, exactly, is fucking with our politics. Is it just race? Is that it? Or is it also the sense among bed rock conservatives that since about 2012 America’s society has been changing at an alarming rate and their poor little conservative brains can’t process it? Whatever it is, the disconnect between the center-Left echo chamber and the center-Right echo chamber is pushing us to the brink.

The United States is now two nations — Red, rural America and Blue urban America — who hate and misunderstand each other. The Republican Party is now an anti-democratic fascists party that will stop at nothing to transform the country into a white Christian ethno state.

And so, again, it seems as though at some point between now and January 2025 we’re going to face the existential choice of autocracy or civil war. If we choose autocracy, what will happen is people like me will scream at the top of our lungs that we’re no longer a democracy, while Republicans will snicker that we’re “a constitutional republic.”

The conservatives in my family will either freak out whenever I mention that we’re now an autocracy or they’ll simply shrug and say so what, what does that even mean. They will say this, of course, until ICE comes after ME and then they will want me to shut up.

Which I will not do.

So, lulz, who knows.

How Tik-Tok Might End Facebook


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

A few years ago, I was really into a video service called Blab. It had a lot of technical problems and obviously was simply a vanity project for the guy who was funding it. It featured four live video boxes for a video conference experience and, most of all, it featured discovery. In hindsight, it’s discovery feature was both a boon and an existential bane.

The reason is — there came a point when the very thing that attracted me to it, the ability the randomly meet new people, was also it’s biggest flaw. The reason: trolls were using the discovery feature to randomly destroy things and make life hell for other users.

And, yet, looking back, it is becoming more and more apparent that the Blab project was far more prescient than one might otherwise imagine. With the rise of Tik-Tok among GenZ, it’s very easy to imagine a situation where Tik-Tok could crush Facebook if it added some sort of four-box social aspect to it, maybe even with discovery.

But Tik-Tok would have to be very, very careful about how they implemented this. It’s possible to do, but they would have to roll out the ability for four people to talk to each other live on video via a video conference very slowly and deliberately.

If you threw it some sort of discovery, there are a number of different ways Tik-Tok could destroy Facebook. One, people could make a lot of new friends via the discovery feature as random people appeared in one of the four video screens. You could have ad hoc dating services added. The list goes on.

And, yet, at the moment, this only works in the abstract. As my personal experience with Blab proves, people are assholes and in practice rolling out any Blab-like features would likely only destroy Tik-Tok.

It’s fun to think about, however.

‘Canceled’ — #Lyrics To A Pop Song


This is another ridiculous attempt at lyrics. But I’m just relaxing before I throw myself back into the novel tomorrow. It’s fun to try to tell a story with as few as words as possible using the conventions of a pop song.
Canceled
lyrics by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
please give credit if you produce or perform

where to begin
when did you make my heart swim
I know how it ended though
it was when you canceled our love
one night on the phone

don’t you sweat
I’ll never forget the way I felt
when you canceled the series
in my mind of you and me so sublime
it’s the culture I’m afraid
for people me to get
canceled
canceled
canceled

but you’ll renew our vows
I know that for sure
it might be queer for me to say aloud
yet that’s just the way I am
you’re going to be mine again
no doubt about it
I will no longer be
canceled
canceled
canceled

(bridge)
renew our love is all I ask
bring it back from the past
it will be a gas
I have hope still
that we’ll enjoy its thrill

I just don’t want to be
canceled
canceled
canceled

‘Read Your Mind’ — Lyrics To A Pop Song


The idea of me successfully writing lyrics to a pop song is totally absurd at the moment– to do it right would require me learning how to play (at least) guitar and also a lot of hard work studying the marketplace and how to set words to music. But, lulz, I just want to vent some creative energy writing lyrics that will never, ever be turned into a song.
Read Your Mind
lyrics by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
Please give credit if you produce or perform

don’t know if you’ll hear
but here I am about to cry
waiting for your sigh from afar
I always used to say
I could read your mind

maybe you can read mind
maybe you can read mind
maybe you can read mind

you came and went like a ship
we crashed into each other
and that was it
that was it
now I’m alone like before
wish you could hear me roar

maybe you can read my mind
maybe you can read my mind
maybe you can read my mind

(bridge)
if you were talking still
you could lay your head
on my chest
we could talk about anything
I guess

Or maybe you could read my mind
maybe you could read my mind
maybe you could read my mind

Is Tik-Tok Reading Our Minds?


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m going to keep writing these posts until someone, somewhere takes notice and decides to look into it for me — I’m so frustrated at this point I’ll even take a malignant ding-dong like Tucker Carlson doing it for me.

So, there I was just a moment ago, using Tik-Tok when I was pushed a video about a woman who asked a Tinder match what time he was born. This stopped me cold — I’ve been thinking about that specific thing for some time now because of the novel I’m working on.

I’ve been thinking about that literal thing — the idea that if you were into astrology you would ask someone what time of day they were born.

Now, before you think that Tik-Tok is monitoring my novel writing some way and that’s how it knew that I was interested in such things — I haven’t gotten to that part of the novel yet. I’ve just been thinking about it. I’ve not written anything anywhere — or even spoken about it to anyone. The only person who knows that I’m interested in that particular part of astrology is ME.

I have no proof — none — that Tik-Tok can read our minds. But I do know the technology to do so was patented by Facebook some time ago and, apparently, Facebook is on something of a quest to figure out how to do just that.

The point is — I really need someone at Vox, or Wired or, hell, even New York Magazine to explain to me what I’m seeing on such a personal, specific basis. What other option is there? Sure, you could say Tik-Tok’s algorithms are now so advanced, so powerful, that they have me specifically figured out. But how would such an algorithm be able to seemingly root around in my mind and push me a video about a specific concept that I’ve been thinking about a lot — but haven’t done anything at all outwardly to indicate this is happening?

How? How? How?

The United States Continues To Drift Towards Autocracy (Or Civil War)


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

It’s clear to me that the United States continues its inevitable drift towards a MAGA themed autocracy. It was only because of a very specific set of historical circumstances that Trump did not win a second term. So, as I keep saying, we’re an autocracy without an autocrat.

The key thing to consider about all of this is the very Powers That Be enablers who should have known better during four years of Trump are doing exactly the same goddamn thing they did then. Rather than showing any backbone whatsoever, they fully embrace the MAGA movement which is pretty brazen fascism.

And it’s happening right out in the open. There’s virtually no push back and what pushback that exits is usually moot, or doesn’t really do anything or is simply gesture politics that doesn’t address the issue at hand: MAGA is fascism and is going to turn the United States into a fascist state the moment it can. Or, if you really want to get all nitty-gritty about it — Trump has done his job. He’s paved the way for someone younger and more focused to purge the media and weaponize the existing ICE infrastructure.

Trump, himself, is simply too lazy, stupid and weak-willed to knock the heads necessary to make transition the United States into cold blooded fascism. But about a dozen other people are more than willing to do what he can’t — or won’t — do.

Now there is a huge but in this dark, dystopian talk — an even darker, more dystopian scenario: a civil war.

So, everything is exactly the same as I described but for one thing — when we actually begin to transition into autocracy, Trump (or whomever) lets the situation get out of hand and states start to leave the Union. This would happen in the vaguely 2024-2025 timeframe.

I just don’t see anything stopping this existential choice of autocracy or civil war. But I’m often wrong and I’m apparently supposed to “calm down” because neither one of these options is going to happen. We’ll see, I guess.

Of Prequels


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I mentioned to someone who has read the first part of the (now third) novel in the series about doing a two prequels. First, she had no idea what a “prequel” was in the first place. I think I was able to get across that I’m writing two new books that happen BEFORE what I’ve given her but are still in the same fictional universe.

But she was very pleased with what she read from me the last time I sent her something. This makes me very happy — it shows that I have, in fact, gotten better. A lot better. This makes me ecstatic.

Yet, as I struggled to explain to her, she knows me and, as such, even though she’s seen a lot of improvement, she still grades me on a curve. If someone like, say, a literary agent, were to read it cold, I’m still nowhere near my copy being good enough. I have, like, three more versions to finish before I get to that point.

What’s more, now I have *four* books to go through that entire process with.

But I’m really feeling the pressure to hurry up and do just that. The pressure to produce something, anything is getting pretty intense now. And I am writing a lot at the moment. I do like the how now I have an even bigger task ahead of me. I have a huge ego and I’m very ambitious — and motivated — so I it’s just a matter of focus at this point.