Ugh, Tik-Tok Has Done It Again — I Discovered A Great Song Via It: ‘Wake Up,’ by ‘Cheese People’


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I have to give Tik-Tok credit – it really is a great way to discover new music. I hate that. But the latest song I’ve discovered via it is from Cheese People — “Wake Up.”

It’s very short — barely over a minute long. But it’s probably the best song I’ve heard all year so far. It’s just the type of post-post-post punk song we need at the moment. In its few minutes, it even has time to throw in a very The Prodigy-influenced wall of noise.

Anyway, in an ideal world, the Tik-Tok whipperstappers would know good music when they heard it and we would find ourselves with a New Sound, which I call Rona Rock.

But…ugh, I just doubt that’s ever going to happen. Or, if it does, it will happen out of the blue when we least expect it. For the time being, we’re stuck with shitty music being pop.

Of Character Development


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’ve decided to re-read a few books that I read some time ago. Two of these books are about how to understand and develop your characters better. Given the nature of this first novel, I feel I need to bone up again on character. I need to understand how to make these characters not just characters but actual people you believe in, and as necessary, root for.

I still have a few days to do this shit ton of reading.

I’ve also begun to do something akin — again — to character studies so I understand who I’m writing. I’ve done this before repeatedly in the past when working on this project, only to totally ignore everything I’d written. But this time, hopefully, will be different.

I really want to have a handle on these characters when I finally sit down AGAIN to write the first draft. And that’s just the first novel! But I love, love being creatively overwhelmed. That’s my jam. I love having way too much on my plate as opposed to not enough so I start to feel bad about my life.

The strong character development of “Mare of Easttown” is what I’m striving for. I really loved how well thought out and developed the characters in that show were. So, I’m going to do some intense writing and reading before I finally try to write this first draft again.

But I’m really pleased with how things are going, over all. I like how if I grow tired of banging my head against one book, I can simply move to another one and tinker on it’s plot and characters. I get to stay in-universe while I do all that work, too.

Though, I will admit that every once in a while I get frustrated enough to at least entertain the idea of writing a short story. But, I dunno. I would still like to fail in a massive, catastrophic way by writing four novels that no one wants to read than write a little short story and get shot down by some MFA intern at The New Yorker.

Kristi Noem & Hope Hicks: Corey Lewandowski ‘Bang Bang Sisters?’


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

You just can’t make this shit up. I have no idea if Kristi Noem is really having an affair with…ugh…Corey Lewandowski…but I do have some strong opinions about Noem’s potential “bang bang sister,” Hope Hicks.

That girl needs to go to therapy.

Hick’s dating life is a who’s-who of fucking abusive cocksuckers. It’s bad that it would almost be a relief to know that she was at least banging Trump when she wasn’t ironing his pants with him still in them.

Because, let’s be honest — at a minimum, Hick was Trump’s “work wife.” They were dating on an emotional level, if nothing else. I say this because, lulz, Trump is such a fucking piece of shit that it would be out character for him NOT to bang Hope Hicks.

But back to Noem.

I suspect this is all going to be a lulz, if it’s true. If people like Trump can do whatever the fuck they want with their naughty bits, to whomever they want, then, well, why pick on her?

She’s a big old hypocrite, but, then so is the entire Republican Party at this point.

The MAGA New Right’s Anti-Vax Freak Out Over Stephen Colbert on Twitter Was Curious


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m beginning to grow suspicious about why, out of the blue, the MAGA New Right pitched a fucking fit over a pretty mundane Late Show song-and-dance routine about getting vaccinate.

I’m not saying there was some sort of conspiracy, but the earnestness of the MAGA New Right people in their belief that it was all humorless “propaganda” is very odd. Colbert — and others — have been making fun of the vaccine hesitant for some time now. Why freak the fuck now….because of that specific gag?

It’s all very odd.

It makes me wonder if it’s something of a setup. They must know that Colbert will make fun of their freak out on his show. (Or, at least will / should.) Maybe they think they can draw attention to how unfair picking on the unvaccinated is or some sort of similar bullshit?

But, no matter what, the difference in views on the gag definitely lays bare the cold hard fact that American civil society is beginning to fray at the edges to an alarming rate. This is another datapoint that suggest we’re going to be faced with a historic, existential choice no later than January 2025.

When negative polarization grows so white hot and absolute that we can’t even agree about what’s funny — we got a problem.

‘New Beginnings’


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

So. I’m reading and re-reading a number of books so when I throw myself back into actually “just writing” the first book in the four book series I’m working on, I won’t feel like I’m spinning my wheels.

More heroine for this first book looks like this:

Mixed with this:

Things, in some ways, are going so well that there’s a huge amount of momentum for me to just “keep writing.” The only thing I’m worried about at this point is in my quest to write a first draft I can believe in, I’ll continue to have the whole thing collapse on a regular basis and four years from now I’ll be in exactly the same place I am now.

Which would suck.

And, as such, here I am reading as much as I can before I start writing again. One thing I’m really focusing on is character development. I say that because the first book in the series is a lot more like Mare of Easttown, in its own way, than, say, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. But one has to note how, well, boring that book is for the first 135 odd pages. It’s just dull as dirt. I’ve often speculated it’s so bad because that’s the part of the novel that Stieg Larsson wrote and rewrote and then something happened and he realized how to fish the rest of the series.

At least, that’s what makes me feel better to believe.

I just refuse to keep spinning my wheels because I started writing again and I wasn’t prepared. I want to know exactly who my characters are, what they believe and, most importantly, what their motivations are. Given that I’m just writing the first drafts of these novels and that sounds rather dumb.

But, as I said, it’s very difficult for me to “just write” crap because for me to write something, anything of fiction, I have to believe in it. The upside o fall of this is my storytelling ability has improved significantly since I started this breached birth creative project.

Thinking About The Influence of ‘Mare of Eattown’ on The First Novel In The 4 Novel Series I’m Writing


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

While it’s definitely not a one-to-one, the heroine of the first novel in my series leading up to my “Female James Bond” getting her “00,” if you will, is greatly influenced by Kate Winslet’s character in “Mare of Easttown.”

The two characters are dramatically different in some respects, but Mare is the vibe I’m looking for. Or, maybe if Mare was younger, a lot less bitter, brunette and a lot more fit. But the vibes of the two women are very similar.

Mare of Easttown greatly influences my goals and vision for the heroine of the first novel in the female James Bond “exgenesis ” series I’m working on.

I like how writing four novels at once allows me to see the macro arch of the series in my mind. It’s a lot easier to plant things here and there in the novel as needed to give it a cohesive unity.

At the moment, Alexa Chung (sorta) is what imagine the character looking like, for no other reason than she’s Amerasian in ethnic background. But I think Phoebe Waller-Bridge could probably play the character if somehow, I manage to not only get the novels published, don’t die of a heart attack like Stieg Larsson and they’re miraculously enough popular enough that Hollywood grows interested.

But I’m still in the very delusional stage of all of this. I have to allow myself to be delusional because that’s the only way any of this will get done. I will note, again, that it’s interesting that other people read the Millennium series and saw a totally different set of books than I did.

It’s pretty wild how different my take on Stieg Larsson’s stuff is relative to at least one book I’ve read. The first book, especially, is far more character driven than this one book I’ve been reading that wants to be a successor to Larsson.

I’ve given myself a few days for something of a reset on all of this. I really need to do some reading, especially about character building. Seeing Mare of Easttown was a swift kick in the creative ass — I saw it and realized I needed to up my game.

Looking Forward To Seeing James Bond In ‘No Time To Die’ To Get Some Inspiration


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m notorious for walking out of movies before they’re over. I usually do this because, as someone writing four novels, I know bad storytelling when I see it and I get fed up. I’m hoping I will make it all the way through the next James Bond movie, which as best I can tell from early reviews is pretty good.

What I find interesting is how conflicted the British seem about the character of James Bond, with the hot takes flying fast and furious. One person called him a “rapist,” while another called for him to be killed off altogether. Americans, meanwhile, I stoked to see a new James Bond movie.

I have to say — Daniel Craig is my favorite James Bond to date. It’s too band he’s leaving the franchise. I think he’s leaving because the character of Bond and his own character are probably so dramatically different that it’s difficult for him to personify the character much longer. Craig seems, at least to me, to have a very Jason Momoa personality. He’s a pretty laid back, normal guy who women love and men respect.

Another reason why I’m really looking forward to seeing No Time To Die is inspiration. I’ve developed my own personal take on the ever-elusive concept of the “female James Bond” (mixed with a lot of Lisbeth Salander influenced elements) and I want to study what makes James Bond so popular. I’d also like to see what makes him so appealing to mass audiences.

The world is ready for a female James Bond, I think, and I’d also like to think I’m the guy to introduce her. The major difference between my heroine and Lisbeth Salander is I don’t intend for her to be some sort of vilante avenging angel. She’s much closer to James Bond in her goals and motivations.

My personal attempt at a “female James Bond’ looks like Zendaya in my mind’s eye.

But I do understand why it’s so difficult to create a “female James Bond.” He’s supposed to represent what it means to be a modern male at any particular moment and, as such, that doesn’t really translate very well to a female character.

My heroine — that I’m writing four novels to give a pretty huge “becoming” backstory to — is meant to be really appealing to both men and women and be so unique and interesting that people will want to see her in book (and movie?) after book.

That’s really the dream at this moment, however. Just a dream. I also am well on my way to having a second creative “track” of (fashion) photographer soon enough and it will be interesting to see the dynamic between the two tracks.

Every moment of your life is precious. We live just a brief moment. Use all your talents while you exist.

The MAGA New Right Hot Takes On Colbert Doing A Song & Dance Gag About Getting Vaccinated Are Fucking Bonkers


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I see our current lingering COVID19 pandemic as a national health crisis and, as such, we need all the help we can get to end it. If that means a late night talk show host does a silly song and dance routine about getting vaccinated, so be it.

But, no, the MAGA New Right hot takes were flying hard and fast tonight about how “unfunny” Colbert was for promoting vaccination. It’s shit like that which really hits home that the bolts are popping off the United States at an alarming rate.

If negative polarization has reached such a white hot level that we can’t even agree on what’s funny because we see everything through the lens of politics, something is deeply wrong.

But there’s one thing we have to understand about this difference in senses of humor — it represents a very serious problem. It makes me remember when I went to the MAGA rally in D.C. after Election Day. At some point, I started to get spooked because people were looking at me funny — I think they knew I was live streaming the event and not exactly giving it a thumbs up with my commentary.

I felt…alarmed. Like, under the wrong conditions I might be physically accosted if I stuck around too long. As such, there are real world consequences to this bullshit.

If we can’t even laugh at the same things, then we really are two nations, one Red, one Blue. Now what.

‘Worry’


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

As of the moment, I believe we’re not going to get the debt ceiling crisis worked out in time and, for the first time, the US is going to default on its debt. Things could change, but the momentum at the moment is definitely towards default.

In other words, we’re fucked.

Pray.

I still doubt there’s going to be a MAGA New Right themed “revolution” anytime soon, but going through a massive global economic crisis of your own making isn’t exactly great for a nation’s stability.

Once you knock out one of the pillars of a stable government — the economy — the entire political system won’t be far behind. I say this, especially since the Republican Party is now a vigilante group that is so wrapped up in negative polarization that it would rather destroy the country than work with Democrats.

I guess what I’m saying is — whatever you would do in preperation of a worst case scenario economic crisis on a personal basis — do that. Now.

‘Come Play, Tay’ — #lyrics To A #Pop #Rock Song


It’s comical how useless writing these lyrics is. But I honestly do enjoy writing “a poem meant to be sung” really fast. It’s a pleasant little distraction. This one is about the need for Taylor Swift to be a bit more…saucy with her public persona. Enjoy.

Come Play, Tay
lyrics by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
please give credit if you produce or perform

the water’s warm
of that I have proof
don’t worry if you get wet
we’ll just laugh out loud
you’re a sweet as can be
never been kissed, it seems
you need to come play
enjoy the sun and play

come play, Tay-Tay
come play, Tay-Tay
we’re lying around
in the sun
come play, Tay-Tay
maybe give us a shout

we know you have it in you
we’ve seen the pictures
it’s all true in our hearts
it’s real it’s all real
that you’re friends
are ready to bop about
why don’t you come play, Tay?

come play, Tay-Tay
come play, Tay-Tay
we’re lying around
in the sun
come play, Tay-Tay
maybe give us a shout

(bridge)
but you know your roll
stay in your hole
you’re as successful as can be
no need to listen to a fool
like me, like me

come play, Tay-Tay
come play, Tay-Tay
we’re lying around
in the sun
come play, Tay-Tay
maybe give us a shout