Month: September 2021

‘Red Flag’ — #lyrics to a #pop #rock song


I’m in the mood to have the crack-pipe hit of creativity that comes from writing pop song lyrics that will never be preformed. It helps I’m feeling kind of lit at the moment. Cheers!

Red Flag
lyrics by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
please give credit if you produce or perform

they say I’m covered in flags
they’re all red they deem
but there’s one they whine one
one they harp on
and that’s

day drinking (it’s a red flag)
day drinking (it’s a red flag)
don’t wanna datecha
just wanna hatecha
for your
red flag
red flag
red flag

who am I to say
if they’re right or wrong
as long as I get laid
then it’s all a lulz
cause I know in my heart
I’m the kinda person
who won’t fretcha
even when I’m

day drinking (it’s a red flag)
day drinking (it’s a red flag)
don’t wanna datecha
just wanna hatecha
for your
red flag
red flag
red flag

(bridge)
one day when I’m sober
my flag will be green
people will deem
me suitable to roll with
but until then I’m doomed
just to wave my
red flag
red flag
red flag

day drinking (it’s a red flag)
day drinking (it’s a red flag)
don’t wanna datecha
just wanna hatecha
for your
red flag
red flag
red flag

A Tay-Tay Rant


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I only write this because I’m listening to Tay-Tay this afternoon and I’m growing very fucking frustrated. Tay-Tay is pop music’s Trump when it comes to sucking up to the base. Her lyrics, however well written, are like Fat Monica saying “your softness” when trying to talk dirty.

Don’t hurt’em Tay-Tay.

I know I’m never going to get a Tay-Tay cover of WAP, but she’s a grown woman. She’s had sex, right? Why not, I don’t know, have a one night stand with Miley Cyrus to get some inspiration. Something, anything, to spice up her music.

She’s going to be the Bob Hope of pop music the way things are going. She’s just…warm milk on a creative level. She’s comfort food for women who are going to grow up to have a lot of cats, drink a lot of wine and think COVID19 can be cure with essential oils.

It’s all very frustrating.

But, I’m well aware that I’m not her audience at this point. And, yet, the case could be made that with Olivia Rodrigo coming on strong from behind being, like a normal human being — even at 18 — that there may come a point when Tay-Tay beings to feel a bit more frisky than she does at the moment.

Then she’ll be too old and no one will care.

And, yet, she’s very successful and will probably have a 30 year career. I’m — at the moment — just an anonymous loser in the middle of nowhere.

Lulz.

Writing 4 Novels At Once Means A Huge Universe to Game Out


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

So. I have four novels to develop and flesh out. Things are going pretty well, all things considered. One thing I’ve noticed, however, is how desperate I can grow to find things, people and ideas to populate the massive universe I’ve created.

In this first novel of the four that I’m working on at the moment, I have to sort of sheepishly say that the novel’s protagonist — in my mind at least — looks a lot like Alexa Chung. (This is where I wonder if an FBI agent in D.C. is going to swoop in and print this post out for my file or something. Ugh! I’m harmless, stop bother me.)

Alexa Chung is how I imagine the heroine of the first novel in my four novel series…sorta.

This did not happen on purpose, but I think some of it comes more from my personal proclivity towards brunettes than any lingering celebrity crush on Ms. Chung. Or, if you really wanted to get specific about what’s going on — in my mind, the protagonist of this first novel kind of is a mixture of Phoebe Waller-Bridge and Kate Winslet in Mare of Easttown. Sorta. In a fuzzy, general way.

My heroine actually looks like Phoebe Waller-Bridge if she was styled like The Mare of Easttown.

And, yet, I continue to be pretty surprised how deep I have to scrape within my personal history to flesh out this universe. It’s a lot of fun, I have admit, however. It’s fun to figure out different ways to use things I know to be true in a totally different context.

I will note how dramatically different this first novel has become from what it was when I pretty abruptly decided to write four novels, not just two. The story has gotten, far, far better than I could possibly imagine.

The Celebrity Social Media Consumption Conundrum


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Let me begin by saying as I grow older — and get ever closer to finishing four novels — the less I care about celebrities. I’m a celebrity in my own mind, if you will — the main character in my own life journey — and the idea of caring if a celebrity notices me or not is beginning to leave me cold.

I just don’t care.

Something about caring if someone who is famous gives you some attention is just so…ugh. I’ve been “famous” (in the Seoul expat community) and I know it can fucking suck. There’s a reason why famous people can lose their minds — being famous is pretty destabilizing to your sense of self.

I know it was, for me, at least.

The magazine that made me famous in Seoul a long, long time ago.

I figure there are two types of celebrity social media use. There are the people too busy doing “dope shit” to care about social media and there are the ones who are so insecure, so thinned skinned that they’re obsessed with what people say about them online.

One reason why I even mention this, is sometimes….I wonder. I wonder if all my ranting about on social media ever catches a name brand person’s attention. I find it amusing that that is, in fact, possible. I have, in the past, had a knack for meeting famous people.

In the 50s, I would have been a pretty aggressive signature seeker, probably.

Anyway, having said all that, it sure would help my serotonin levels if a celebrity would give me a shout out. My life is pretty dull at the moment.

The Massive Missed Creative Opportunity That Is Tay-Tay


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Oh, Tay-Tay. Everyone once in a while, I’ll get into a Taylor Swift kick and listen to a few of her songs on repeat. She’s a great performer and artist and, in general, I really like her more pop stuff.

Why fix what’s not broken?

And then….I accidently listen to one of her “fan service” songs and I violently roll my eyes. OH, COME ON, Tay, Tay, you can do better than that. It’s so annoying that Ms. Swift has decided to never challenge herself, never take a risk, never work outside her (very popular and profitable) comfort zone.

It all feels like a huge missed opportunity.

Imagine if Tay-Tay decided to work with a hip-hop or rock producer and came out with her take on Nelly Furtado’s “Loose” album. Or even maybe do very Garbage-influenced album? Both of those would be really cool and potentially significantly broaden her already huge popularity. I would even settle for her to work with Chvrches in some way. Something, anything so she did something a bit more interesting that fan service for nearly-middle aged women who think “getting drunk” is a big deal.

But, I’m not her audience. She’s doing really well doing what she’s doing and there’s no need for her to change.

I do wonder, however, what happens when she wakes up one morning 10 years from now and realizes she’s about to have her “last fuckable evening” in the eyes of Hollywood producers. Will she freak out and record a sexxy rock album out of desperation, or will she just roll over and go back to sleep?

I think we all know the answer to that one.

So, as such, Tay-Tay will remain someone who is hugely popular on a both a creative and artistic level…and yet leaves us feeling as though we’re missing out on what could have been.

They Shoot Writers, Don’t They?


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’ve been hard at work on this novel project for about three years now. Probably the biggest surprise I’ve discovered through it all is how much I need to have absolute control over everything before I even start writing.

How anyone writes a novel “seat of their pants” is beyond me.

I want to know the entire story so well that when I actually sit down to write, all I have to do is, well, write. I follow my scene summary in front of me and just write out the scene. The problem to date, has been, repeatedly, that as my storytelling ability has improved, everything collapses and feel compelled to start all over again.

But I just can’t keep doing that forever. I’ve finally come to the point where I’m going to finish the four outlines as need be, maybe write a summary for each scene in the outline (and a scene summary) and just write.

It doesn’t matter how bad the first draft turns out being,I just have to finish a first draft sooner rather than later. If I don’t finish something sooner rather than later, it’s going to be four years from now and I still won’t have anything finished.

As such, I hope to just start writing on the first draft of the first novel in the four book series very, very soon. I still want to brood on some elements of it — and do a lot more reading — but I’m only going to give myself a few days.

And once I start writing, I hope I can stay focused on what I’m doing. I know that 1) this ideal situation I’m in can’t last forever and 2) I’m going to start my second creative track of (fashion) photography in the next few months.

So, I’m going to “just write” something, anything using the outline I’ve come up with, ASAP. I’m very pleased with everything on a creative level, but I’m very much in a put-up or shut-up situation.

I’ve been way too conspicuous with all this talk about development and I feel so sheepish about it. I should have kept what I was doing to myself, but I can’t help myself — I’m 100% extroverted and I have no friends.

So, you get all this talk about how I’m spinning my wheels with hope that maybe it will stop.

It’s going stop this time, right? I’m actually going to finish a first draft? Right?

The Curious Case Of JLaw


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

For some reason, I find myself getting pushed videos on Tik-Tok that seem to think that America’s Sweetheart Jennifer Lawrence is either A Girl Boss or some sort of evil, power hungry woman who, in the past, was willing to bang anyone necessary to get what she wanted.

This is one of those times when I roll my eyes and think, “Why is everything so dumb?”

One of the things frequently brought up about JLaw is it’s rumored that she fooled around with Harvey Weinstein in some capacity. I dunno. Given what a complete fucking asshole he is, he would be just the type of guy who bang someone as smoking hot as JLaw then blab about it.

I find this whole thing dumb because the people talking about all of this seem oblivious to how Hollywood really works. You have a bunch of damaged hot people with huge amounts of money and ambition in one community who are paid to be fake. What else do you expect is going to happen?

I really like JLaw, or at least want to like JLaw, and given all she’s gone through, she is a very empathetic figure. If she feels as though, in the past, there was a very specific way to get what she wanted, then, lulz. Remember, even Grace Kelly was a freak back in the 1950s. (That one still rattles my cage.)

Anyway, I hope married life suits you well, JLaw. You’ll make a great mom.

‘When is The Second Civil War Starting?’


This is another in my series of answering the searches about a civil war or revolution that bring people to this site. This one was from — you guessed it — Alabama.

Short answer: probably around January 2025, if it happens.

Long Answer: very good question.

That someone in Alabama would casually ask when the Second Civil War is going to start gives you some insight into how bad things are at the moment. But as of right now, I think if we do have a Second Civil War it will happen at some point after Election Day 2024 and before Certification Day in January 2025.

An actual hot civil war in the United States would be only one end of a spectrum of potential outcomes, with the an autocracy being on the other end. And lot depends on what Donald Trump does. If he runs for president again and is the nominee, he is so fucking idiotic and incompetent that he might, just by continuing to be a political force, push the United States into civil war.

But there is always a small chance that well before 2024 – 2025, some unexpected event might start a hot civil war in the United States well before the two sides (or I) expect it. Remember, for it to be a “civil war” you would need a government and troops. If it’s just a bunch of idiots in a rural part of Oregon and that’s it, well, that’s not even a revolution.

You would need some sort of mass attack on the civil Federal authority on a state level for it to be a real “civil war.” And, as such, my best guess is, at the moment, those conditions will be met when the government is at its weakest — between Election Day 2024 and Certification Day 2025.

I will note that I think we’re in a similar situation as about 1857, only things are begin speed up and feel slower because the pace of modern life is so much faster. But, as they say, people go bankrupt gradually then all at once, so it’s possible that my fears about a civil war will be justified a lot sooner than I currently expect.

But something really out of the blue would have to happen for the country to actually have a civil war anytime soon as of late 2021. We’ll see, I guess.

Apostate Republicans Will Lead The Blue States To Victory In The Second American Civil War


by Ender

It’s becoming more and more clear to me that the modern day War Democrats of The Lincoln Project et al will be the leadership of the Blue States if we have a Second American Civil War.

While there are plenty of great center-Left leaders who would rise to the occasion if the shit hit the fan, it’s a tough-as-nails broad like Liz Cheney who will get the fucking job done. I don’t know how it would work, but if we reach a point where the United States is actively attacking itself in a civil war, then principled leadership will rise to the top.

As such, I suspect that ultimately, it won’t be AOC who leads Blue States, but someone like Cheney. There will be endless howls at first from Leftists at such a “betrayal” but when Cheney proves she’s an American Iron Lady they will shut up. I love you, AOC, babe, but you’re still too young, too unfocused and too unserious to get us through a fucking civil war.

U.S. Representative Liz Cheney (R-WY) delivers an opening statement during the opening hearing of the U.S. House (Select) Committee investigating the January 6 attack on the U.S. Capitol, on July 27, 2021 at the U.S. Capitol in Washington, DC. During its first hearing the committee, currently made up of seven Democrats and two Republicans, will hear testimony from law enforcement officers about their experiences while defending the Capitol from the pro-Trump mob on January 6. (Photo by Jim Bourg-Pool/Getty Images)

Cheney, meanwhile, is locked and loaded to destroy the MAGA New Right with everything she’s got.

And it won’t just be Cheney. If things grow existential, most of the Blue State leadership will probably eventually be NeverTrumpers. It will be extremely ironic and probably cause some surreal post-war events as everything snaps back into place, but in the moment of crisis, it will get the job done.

But I’m still being very speculative. It could be that we don’t have a civil war and we simply slip peacefully into autocracy. People like Cheney are either arrested, pushed out a window or exiled and that will be that.

It really could go either way at the moment.

The Electoral College Is Obscuring The Severity Of Our Current Crisis


by Ender

It’s difficult to make a one-to-one comparison between the modern United States and early 30s Germany for one crucial reason: Germany was a parliamentary system, while the United States has an presidential system based on balance of powers and an Electoral College.

A more honest depiction of the American political system on the ground would show the American Fascist Party being the biggest party, only countered — at the moment — by a large center-Left coalition. If we had a parliamentary system like German, we would all be freaking the fuck out a lot more because it would be a lot more obvious how dire our situation is.

The Democratic Party is really a center-Left coalition of anti-fascist parties, socialists, moderates, Labor, etc. That’s why it’s so difficult to get the party to do anything — it’s not even really a party, but a jumble of different smaller parties fused together because of how we election our presidents.

Or, put another way — the Electoral College, on a systemic level, is luling us into a false sense of security. It’s difficult for us to comprehend that one of the two major political parties in the United States no longer believes in democracy and are hell bent on establishing an autocratic White Christian ethno state. They will stop at nothing to do this, to the point that they would rather wreck the world economy than have any form of bipartisanship.

Politics is now dead in the United States. In a post-political environment, you’re pretty much just waiting for some sort of crisis to spark some sort of violent historical event be it revolution or civil war.

Also, note that if we were a parliamentary system it would be a lot more clear how dire things are because it would be growing more and more difficult for us to form a government. What the fascists GQP New Right Republicans are doing with the debt ceiling would have an immediate effect as opposed to causing a crisis that would only be felt at the polls in about a year.

The point is — the United States is far, far more unstable than you might think. At the moment, the only thing holding the country together is, well, the political system that the Electoral College mandates. That’s why the next crisis will be severe and it will happen either in 2022 or 2024.

Things are dark.