Month: November 2023

Pondering Mystery Thriller Novels to ‘Comp’ To My Book As Part of The Querying Process

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Because I don’t really even read any modern books in my genre, I think I’m going to turn to AI to find out what current books I should read that I can “comp” to a book that is a homage to Stieg Larsson’s stuff.

My novel is so…different…that I struggle to think that I will be able to find a novel that is clearly something I can “comp.” But I’m going to have to figure out something. That’s what they pay me the big bucks for.

I’m going to have to take this whole process a lot more seriously. Anything to do with querying means I can just daydream and be delusional anymore. I really, really, really don’t want to self publish. That’s just not my scene. I would have to be really fucking desperate — at least at this point — to self publish.

I would rather go down in a blaze of glory a monumental failure than limit myself by self-publishing. That’s just my vision at the moment. I have nothing against people who self publishing, but I just don’t wanna do that.

My heroine, in my mind, looks something like this woman above.
I started reading a novel that was clearly meant to be something along the lines of a homage to Stieg Larsson’s stuff but something about it left me cold. It seemed to hone in on what the author thought made Lisbeth Salander so popular — her vigilante streak.

To me, that’s just a part of her personality. She was far more complex than that. I hope to force myself to actually read that damn book simply so I won’t feel so self-conscious about not reading fiction. But only time will tell.

‘I Canceled You Before It Was Cool’

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I am not perfect. I’m a pretty flawed person. I sometimes get drunk and rant on this blog and social media. But I mean well. In fact, the worst thing anyone ever said about me is I’m “a delusional jerk with a good heart.”

Anyway.

The point is — while I really love the premise of this novel, which a third party will inevitably boil down to “sexworker solves a murder mystery,” because I’m a smelly CIS white male who is telling the story….oh boy. If I was a transgendered undocumented Lantix woman then the “woke cancel culture mob” would probably be quite content with the story.

But, no, I’m a member of the patriarchy and, as such, I must be punished for “objectifying” and “exploiting” women by writing such a story, no matter how much I try to be compassionate and empathetic in its telling.

And, yet, I’ve got a great story on my hands — or at least in my mind — and I want to tell it. So, even though there is a good chance I’ll be “canceled” even if I do manage to sell this novel, it is better to have loved and lost than never loved at all.

Pondering The Potential Reception Of This Novel By Literary Agents

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Now that I’ve just about locked down the first two chapters of the third draft of this novel, I find myself pondering What Next. I still have a few more months of writing to finish the third draft, but I definitely am beginning to think about the querying process.

My big concern is, of course, that because I’m doing this in a vacuum that the somewhat provocative premise of the novel will make literary agents — who I imagine as being mostly liberal white women — either laugh or get angry. I have no idea if the “sex worker who solves a murder mystery” will be cool with literary agents or not because of that.

But “Barry” was popular, so, lulz, it’s at least *possible* that my similar type story might have broad appeal. And, yet, sexwork is so loaded in the minds of most people while being a hired assassin is a lulz that it’s possible it will just be too loaded for anyone to take seriously.

Yet the point is that I want a heroine is really, really interesting. Someone unexpected who you will want to hang out with for the time it takes to read ~140,000 words. I believe I have come up with just the type of evocative story that people will really find worth their time.

I hope.

The holiday season is now here, so that is an added complication. My fear is that because of the holiday season and other “known unknowns” that I’ll really be pushing it to wrap this novel up no later than April 2024. Then I will have to save up the money to get a professional manuscript consultant to read over the third draft.

THEN I have to start to query just as the “Perfect Storm” of The Fourth Turning and the AI generated Petite Singularity happens in late 2024, early 2025. But, if nothing else, I definitely am happy with this story. There are probably going to be a lot — A LOT — of structural changes to the third act in the transition from second to third draft.

But I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.

The Good, The Bad & The Paranoid

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

It seems as though SOMEONE has noticed all my talk comparing the novel I’m working on to Stieg Larsson’s The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. This both excites me and alarms me. Here are the reasons why:

The Good
Maybe this means some Hollywood time is honestly interested in the logline of “sexworker solves a murder mystery,” even though that is not really what the story is about.

The Bad
Maybe this means someone the rights to Millennium series is aware of how much of an homage this novel is meant to be to that property and they’re not fucking happy.

The Paranoid
Maybe this means a screenwriter and / or producer plan to swoop in, steal my idea and laugh all the way to the bank at me for being such a loudmouth fool.

Now The Hard Part

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I love to write. Writing is like shedding skin for me. I do it a lot without even thinking about it. And, for years now, I’m been VERY delusional about what’s going on with my first novel. I’ve allowed myself this luxury because I knew it was the only way I would ever actually finish anythiing.

And, yet, now that it’s clear that I’ve finally figured out the beginning of the third draft of this novel and I’m going to — hopefully — wrap it up by, say, around April 1st, I have to put on my big boy pants

I have to start thinking about querying.

The reason why this scares the shit out of me is multifold. One is, well, I’m a drunk crank who doesn’t always follow the media narrative on social media. I retweet a lot — A LOT — of pictures of hot chicks. I get drunk and rant about the importance of heteronormative monoculture. And I have been known to say I fucking hate the Bechdel Test. AND, WHAT’s MORE, my novel could easily be reduced to the logline of smelly CIS white male spends 140,000 words to depict a “sex worker solving a murder mystery.”

I retweet a lot of pictures of hot chicks on Twitter.
None of those things endear me to the liberal women who often are literary agents. But I refuse to change anything. I’m going to accept the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, come what may.

I have a lot to consider going forward. I have to think about how I’m going to pay for a manuscript consultant to look over my copy. I have to buy AND READ a series of novels that I can “comp” my novel to, even though it’s a real struggle to consume anyone else’s content — and I’m a storytelling snob.

AND, all of this is happening the context of the rise of AI, the potential for a “Fourth Turning” in late 2024, early 2025 AND the very real possibility that my entire life could be thrown up in the air because of known unknowns.

I dig shit like this.
And, yet, the whole point of starting a novel in the first place was to get outside my comfort zone and to see how far I could get in the process before it became absolutely, 100% clear that I would have to — gulp — self-publish.

But I would only consider that after a good bit of fighting to get published traditionally. And I might even be so stubborn that I simply but the finished novel aside until I can get something ELSE published traditionally and use the leverage that gives me to get my first novel published.

Building Out An American SA For Tyrant Trump In Early 2025 Would Take Time & Not Happen In A Vacuum

by Ender

As it stands, Tyrant Trump seems to think that all his problems with a restless populace will be fixed by simply invoking the Insurrection Act. In that respect, MAGA “thoughtleaders” are making some pretty silly and child-like assumptions. They made similar assumptions about SCOTUS in the lead up to the January 6th Insurrection.

The problem is — after having read about the consolidation of Nazi power in early 1933, I realize that both Project 2025 and Agenda47 have a huge, gaping hole in their conspiracy: no SA.

And, it gets even more complicated. The US of 2025 is far larger in both population and geographic size than Germany in 1933. And the US is far more decentralized. And diverse. And has a far more potent tradition of democracy than the Weimer Republic.

It seems as though MAGA believes that simply by corrupting the administration of justice and the executive they can walk all over the American population. MAGA believes Americans will allow Tyrant Trump to throttle American democracy in broad daylight. I assume they think this because Trump has gotten away with a lot already, so, lulz, of course he can go full tyrant without any consequences.

But if Trump goes full tyrant and corrupts the administration of justice to the point that he is literally snatching people off the street and throwing them in jail, then….uhhh…there is going to be a reaction on the part of the American population.

The key thing is that the Nazis had an SA to browbeat the 48% of the Germany population that didn’t support them. Even if Trump decided to organize some sort of national paramilitary group at some point in early 2025 when it becomes clear that invoking the Insurrection Act isn’t going to cut it, there would be a lag time.

Trump would need a least maybe 300,000 or more MAGA SA members to scare the shit out of people in Blue States. But doing that would, unto itself, cause a reaction on the part of the American population. And remember, all of this would happen in the context of Trump being a lazy idiot who would just thrash around in anger rather than doing any sort of Great Man shit.

I suppose Trump could weaponize the existing ICE infrastructure and turn the organization into some sort of Gestapo. But doing that would ALSO really piss a lot of Blue State people off. And also alienate a lot of Traditionalists who just want to put kids in cages, not have their Blue family members roughed up and tortured in a camp.

I still believe that some sort of General Strike combined with the use of the 14th Amendment might lure the U.S. Military into supporting some sort of toppling of Tyrant Trump. But THAT would also cause a huge problem — probably in the guise of a Secession crisis.

The whole point is — unless we magically punt our problems down the road by peacefully re-electing Biden in 2024….we’re fucked.

I’m Very Pleased With This Novel At The Moment — But I’m Also Nervous

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I have been in a very, very idyllic situation for an extended amount of time when it comes to writing a novel. And, finally, I feel as though I’ve locked in the beginning of the novel so things should move much, much faster now.

But.

The issue is that I fear Something is going to throw things up in the air. Something will happen that either causes the context of my efforts to write a novel dramatically or even significantly slow the writing down.

And, what’s more, the clock is ticking. I’m not going to live forever — I’m the exact age Stieg Larsson was when he died — AND the rise of AI and the potential Fourth Turning in late 2024, early 2025 is rather alarming.

There’s just nothing I can do. I just have to accept that I have to work harder and faster. I have to lean into my insecurities and fears to generate the creative energy necessary to get this novel done.

The MAGA Nazi January 6th Narrative Is Incomprehensible

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

It was a Nothingburger
According to MAGA, the January 6th Insurrection was a lulz. It was just a bunch of peaceful, fun loving folks who wants to take a looky-loo at the Capitol building while certification was taking place.
It was a Antifa-FBI-Deepstate False Flag
According to MAGA, the January 6th Insurrection was all just a false flag operation to make MAGA look bad. All the parts of the event that hurt MAGA politically can be ascribed to evil Deep State people shipped into D.C. on “ghost buses” full of undercover FBI agents who slipped into what was otherwise a peaceful event to specifically hurt MAGA.
It was a Patriotic Act
According to MAGA — specifically Donald Trump — the January 6th Insurrection was done by a group of patriots who simply wanted to tell the U.S. Congress that they objected to the “steal.”

Are People Doing Due Diligence On Me?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I have absolutely nothing to back this hunch up with, but some of the weird things going on in my Webstats make me….wonder. I sense that maybe someone, somewhere is doing some sort of due diligence on me and I only see bits and pieces of whatever it is they’re interested in.

I can’t figure out if it’s my political ranting or my novel writing ranting that has is the center of this eerie, mysterious attention. It may be a little bit of both? Or maybe I’m just dreaming it all up.

Anything is possible, I suppose.

Things *MAY* Be About To Move Very, Very Fast With This Third Draft Of The Novel

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

After way too long, I think that it is at last possible that I may — MAY — have figured out the basics of the beginning the third draft of the novel. If that is so, then things are on the cusp of going VERY FAST.

My heroine, in my mind, looks like a young Nicole Scherzinger.
The reason is, I have finally — finally — figured out the relationships between characters as the story opens. I also have realized some issues about how to really drive home that our heroine is a woman who inhabits two very, very different worlds.

I sometimes worry that I may have an “Annie Hall” problem in that the non-murder mystery elements of this story may become so good as to overpower the murder mystery parts. And, yet, I don’t *think* that will be a problem because I’m just screwing around with the first act and the rest of the novel remains the same — at least at this point.

But I’m getting kind of excited. I think I’m on track — barring any number of known unknowns — to wrap this third draft up no later than, maybe April 1st? Maybe? I hope that’s not being delusional.

Time will tell.