Month: September 2021

Anna Marie Tendler, I, Too, Know Something About Grief


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

So, way back when, I was very angry at a young woman named Annie Shapiro. This was probably mid-2007. It’s the closest I’ve ever come to going through a divorce. The expat magazine we started, ROKon, had failed and then she, in secret, brought it back.

And it was good.

It was really good.

I was working at a newspaper for children learning English called The EduTimes. I liked to tell people I had five days to do two days worth of work. So, with those three extra days, I would sit at my desk and listen to the following song on YouTube.

I’m not saying my experience with grief is special or different or that you should listen to me. But given how devastating and moving Anna Marie Tendler’s photos documenting her grief are, I thought I’d share.

But I will say, my grief about the end of my tumultuous relationship with Annie and what happened with the magazine emotionally kneecapped me for about a decade. A decade!

I’m slowly beginning to feel a lot better. I just wish Annie was still alive for us to have some sort of rapprochement. She was one of the most interesting people I’ve ever met and she changed my life.

RIP, my little wood nymph.

‘All Crushed Out:’ #Pop #Rock #Ballad #Lyrics


Jesus Christ no one cares about me at the moment. But this is a pleasant way to relax this evening — trying to convey what the pictures of Anna Marie Tendler make me feel in verse. No one cares. But the titles of her photos do lend themselves to be song titles.

All Crushed Out
lyrics by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
Please give credit if you produce or perform

my heart still beats
but my soul is crushed out
the blood still flows
just as fast
but my heart’s just not in it
everything is smashed
everything is
all crushed out
all crushed out

crushed, crushed

don’t know what happens next
I haven’t got a guess
when you were by my side
I would let out a sigh
but now just cry, cry, cry
if you ever return what will I do
everything is smashed
everything is
all crushed out
all crushed out

(bridge)
put it all back together
I pray to heaven above
maybe if I rub a lamp
everything will return
to the way it once was
but I know that’s just crap

everything is smashed
everything is
all crushed out
all crushed out
all crushed out
all crushed out

‘A Room That Once Was:’ #lyrics to a #pop #rock #ballad


I know something about the power of grief. What I don’t know is anything about how to put words to music. I know the words part, but how to fit words to music is something I’m oblivious about. I would buy a guitar and learn, but I’ve decided that photography will be my second creative “track.” Anyway, the photos of grief that Anna Marie Tendler is producing in despair over her recent divorce is something I can related to. The late Annie Shapiro went through something of a divorce because of ROKon Magazine and it took me – gulp — a lot longer than I would like to admit for me to get over it. Anyway, the title of these lyrics comes from the photo I’ve linked to.

A Room That Once Was
lyrics by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
Please give credit if you produce or perform

this is a room that was once a home
it filled our hearts with hope
we believed it was for a dream
but it was just a nightmare
it was all a lie
you looked me in the face
told me you would never leave

I believed you I did
now I’m at a loss to what happens next
I turn the light on to this room
we christened its hardwood floor
thinking we might make a baby

a room that once was a home
but is just a hole
a hole in my heart
a room that once was (a home)
a room that once was (a home)
a room that once was (a home)

(bridge)
I try to read in the room
really I do
but dread is too powerful for me to
so I don’t know what to do
maybe you can tell me
in your new enlightment
you’re going to be a father
I hear
oh dear
all I have is

a room that once was
a room that once was
a room that once was
a room that once was

‘anne boleyn:’ #Pop #Rock #Ballad #Lyrics


The pictures like the one above that Anna Marie Tendler is producing on her Instagram account are just heart wrenching. But, also, for me, at least, inspiring. I can’t sleep at the moment, so here’s another bit of would-be music inspired by one of her grief photos caused by her divorce.

anne boleyn
lyrics by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
Please give credit if you produce or perform

off with her head
they said and then she was dead
but to any woman who loves too much
and finds herself on the block
the name Anne Boleyn resonates
as the tears become a necklace

whatever you do
whatever you say
just don’t call me
Anne Boleyn
Anne Boleyn
Anne Boleyn

women know what they know
Anne Boleyn did not know her place
and she paid a heavy price
her mind was in the right place
but her man’s hands were somewhere else
other than her body late at night
someone else got that right
much to Anne Bolyen’s fright

you could say I’m the same
nothing new, is under the sun
we thought we had something forever
it was just a fever
so whatever you do
don’t call me
Anne Boleyn
Anne Boleyn
Anne Boleyn

‘Trigger Warning:’ Pop-Rock #Lyrics



I have no idea what I’m doing. But I’m the mood for the quick-hit of creativity that comes with randomly writing lyrics to songs that will never, ever be produced.

Trigger Warning
lyrics by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
Please give credit if you produce or perform

when I touch your skin late at night
I can feel the heat of your skin
how you make me leer
knowing what you’re going to do
but the next morning you’re gone
leaving me thinking you should come
come with a
trigger warning
trigger warning
trigger warning
trigger warning

I’m simple
not very complex
but you make me hot
whenever we neck
but you don’t have
to call me your pet
for me to get drenched in sweat
cause you need a trigger warning

people tell me you’re a hired gun
maybe too full of yourself
you’re obviously always loaded
but I’ll drink to that
I just wish you would stay for breakfast
so I wouldn’t wake up to a cold bed
that feels as hot as muzzled just used
’cause you need a
trigger warning
trigger warning
trigger warning
trigger warning

(bridge)
you’ve unloaded your love
into my heart
capped me one two three
but I’d pull you again
without warning
if you’d just stay when I need you
in the morning

until then I’m slapping a
trigger warning
trigger warning
trigger warning
trigger warning

on you
on you
on you

‘Storm The Capitol:’ #Lyrics To A Fiona Apple-like Pop Song


I’m just screwing around with this. I’m in a writing mood. This is inspired by Fiona Apple’s “Fetch The Bolt Cutters.’ Again, as always, I have no idea what I’m going. But it’s relaxing to vent by telling a story in as few as words as possible with the idea that someone, somewhere might actually produce these lyrics. (Not that they will.)

Storm The Capitol
lyrics by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
Please give credit if you produce or perform

whenever I’m in pain
and I want to be lame
I look to the city on the hill
and think
storm the capitol
storm the capitol
storm the capitol

I’m not going to say
that it’s my scene
to vi-o-len-tly stake my claim
but who am I to say
what I may do in a bad mood
I might just
storm the capitol
storm the capitol
storm the capitol

people say I’m insane
that I’m better off at a rave
but not neeed to shame me
I have a shamon to tell me
which way is north
even if it’s south
…or west.

(bridge)
I’ll rush down the steps
or maybe given a hand on my
once I’ve proven my point
that I’m an idiot
with no plan or shame
just a little too much will

but don’t you fret
I’ll be back one day to
storm the capitol
storm the capitol
storm the capitol

What Could I Be Getting Wrong With All My ‘Hysterical Doom Shit’ About A Second American Civil War?


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The conservatives in my family generally believe I’m being “hysterical” with all my “doom shit” about the prospect of a Second American Civil War in the near future. I think they read this blog and aren’t telling me, but, lulz.

Anyway, the argument I’ve gotten from my conservatives relatives is we have more to worry about from “woke” corporations listening to us using our phones and “canceling” us for not fitting the media narrative than my fear of autocracy or civil war. But these same relatives tell me that Trump isn’t going is going to run because he’s “just not,” so, I dunno.

So what am I missing? Am I just being “hysterical” with my “doom shit?”

There are a number of very concrete metrics that I can point to that indicate to me that I’m not being “hysterical” and we’re totally, completely fucked no later than Janaury 2025. We’re going to face the choice of autocracy or civil war at that point and I still don’t know the answer as to which one we’re going to do.

One of the many metrics that cause me a great deal of concern these days is how the MAGA New Right simply lies if there’s anything that doesn’t fit their own media narrative. They claim it’s a false flag. Or we didn’t see what we know we saw. Or whatever fuck else they can say to make themselves feel better.

It’s growing very aggravating.

But, who knows. We may just muddle through all of this. And I’ll look like a fool. It won’t be the first time.

Holy Shit, Anna Marie Tendler, Have I Got An Album For You: Kacey Musgraves’ ‘Star-Crossed’


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Despite what the hysterical haters on Twitter might think — I’m actually a very empathetic person, maybe to a fault. Something about the art that  Anna Marie Tendler is generating from her grief over divorce to John Mulaney is tearing me up big time.

So, I kind of have all of that on the brain.

I’m a big Kacey Musgraves’ fan and there I was, listening to her latest album, “star-crossed” when it occurred to me the whole thing is about her recent divorce to Ruston Kelly. Who, I just learned, at one point in 2020 when this album was likely being produced, was hanging out with Olivia Munn! This whole thing is getting kind of surreal, the more I learn about it.

I think it’s safe to say that it’s highly unlikely that Ms. Tendler is unware of Ms. Musgraves’ latest creative effort.

Bruh, Did We Read The Same Series?


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

So, through Twitter, I got something of a tip about a thriller series much like Stieg Larsson’s Millennium Series. I was shocked once I started reading the first book in the series — the author, while obviously influenced greatly by Larsson, has a totally different interpretation of his work.

Lisbeth Salander

While I focus on the character aspects of Lisbeth Salander et al, this other author really honed in on the action-thriller part of what he wrote. He’s far more better educated than me and relative to the metrics of normal people, the type of guy who gets invited highfalutin cocktail parties. The closest I would get to such a thing with my current background, is a street urchin with my nose smudging the restaurant’s outside window.

So, I’m taken aback at what a poor artistic interpretation this other author has — in my opinion — of what made the Millennium series a success. Or maybe “poor” is too harsh. Maybe “dramatically different” is a better sentiment. To me, the story of Lisbeth Salander is of a woman who probably would have been pretty normal but for a very surreal and tragic upbringing.

At least, that’s how I see things.

But, I can dig that someone else would look at what I read and see that it’s the action-thriller aspect of the series that kept people reading. The three books in the original series are really action packed (after you get past the first 135 pages of the first book which are dull as dirt.)

Anyway. I wish my “rival” the best. I also want to crush him creatively by being far, far more successful than he is currently. I’m a loser nobody at the moment, yes, but I have a lot of drive and think Ii can pull another rabbit out of a hat before I drop dead.

Ode To Anna Marie Tendler: ‘A Constant Companion’ — #Lyrics To A Breakup Song

I know absolutely nothing about music, but I can write. Or, at least, I like to think I can. So, I saw this picture of Anna Marie Tendler and was inspired to write lyrics from it. Or, at least, a poem that’s meant to be sung to music. But I only wrote this in about five minutes, so someone who actually knows what they’re doing would have to do something with it. But it’s inspired by Damien Rice’s The Blower’s Daughter. That’s the vibe I’m looking for with it.

A Constant Companion
lyrics by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
Please give credit if you produce or perform

it was all an act
and that’s a fact
our love is gone
and will never come back
but for a while you were a
constant companion
constant companion
constant companion
constant companion
constant companion
constant companion

I used to adore you
now you’re gone with a roar
never to return as it is foretold
but what can I say that hasn’t been said
a thousand times in my head
you were

a constant companion
by my side
by my side
now the darkness has taken your place
I live in disgrace
with another
constant companion
constant companion
constant companion
constant companion
constant companion
constant companion

(bridge)
I’m alone with my fears
alone with my nightmares
I hold my hands late at night
thinking it’s you by my side
but my fingers I feel are my own

I can’t forget that you once were my
constant companion
constant companion
constant companion
constant companion
constant
companion
constant
companion