Month: July 2022

‘Manifesting Destiny’

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Occasionally, I’ll feel a sense of dread, or just the feeling that Something Big is about to happen. Sometimes, it’s nothing. Other times, I fucking break my ankle.

I generally think gambling is the devil’s business, but I’m so desperately poor and it fits into my general belief that I’m special and destined for some sort of quirky greatness (wink) that I do, on occasion play the lottery.

I probably spend way too much brain power thinking what I would do with a sudden, significant windfall. The last time I checked, Mega Millions was up to $600 million. That may have changed recently, but I’m too lazy to double check.

Anyway, in my effort to manifest me winning the lottery, here is what I would do with all that sweet, sweet cash if I somehow miraculously won it.

  1. Move To A Big City
    The first thing I would do is become one of those smug bi-costal people who humble brag about taking the Red Eye for this or that reason. With a few hundred million dollars to play with, I would buy two places to live — one in NYC and one in LA.
  2. Start A Publication
    With all that money, I would hit the ground running. I would, I don’t know, buy The Village Voice brand or something. Or think up a new name. But whatever it was called, I would throw some money into starting a publication in the tradition of Spy and Gawker. Building this new media empire would consume my life, just like ROKon Magazine in Seoul did.
  3. Hire Research Assistants For The Novels
    I would continue to develop and write six novels, but I would hire a few research assistants to lighten the load and make the end product much, much better.
  4. Be A Bon Vivant
    Rather than be one of those lottery winners that flamed out, I would be like Mark Cuban who, if we’re honest, pretty much just won the lottery when he sold Broadcast.com to Yahoo for $1 billion back in the day. I would become an insufferable media personality that was always shooting my mouth off and doing weird, interesting things for the same of doing weird, interesting things.
  5. Start A Dive Bar
    I would find a small venue somewhere cool in NYC and start a dive bar like Nori in Seoul where I used to DJ. I would be the DJ on the weekends and it would be really cool. Sort of a Studio 54 meets CBGBs vibe.
  6. Become A Fashion Photographer
    I would throw money into buying all the equipment I need and then figure out how to become a fashion photographer. I have the talent, I just am very, very, very poor and if that changed in a big way then I would make myself known in the fashion industry.

    None of this, of course, is ever going to happen. It’s just a daydream. I suppose if I sold my novel and it was A HUGE SUCCESS then some of the above might, eventually happen. But I wouldn’t count on it.

    For the time being, at least, I’m reasonably content living in oblivion.

My Hot Take On Don Winslow

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I really admire author Don Winslow for a number of reasons. As I understand it, he was older when he started getting novels published and that’s something I hope to do, as well. And he and I have a similar belief that the so-called “Resistance” isn’t doing nearly enough to address the rise of fascism in the United States.

But something I do think about is it possible that he’s a little TOO negative. And, let me be clear, I’m the person that Mueller, She Wrote called a “terribly negative person” and blocked.

I guess what specifically I’m thinking about is how he attacks some of the more notable names in the #NeverTrump roster. I totally agree with him that we need to keep an eye on them going forward, but I also think we’re so absolutely desperate as we approach the very turbulent 2023 – 2025 timeframe that we should think about giving them a pass.

Or not. It’s something to think about.

The ‘Canceling’ Of Dave Chappelle

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

One of the most misguided things to happen in pop culture of late is the “canceling” of Dave Chappelle. He’s a gifted storyteller as well as comic and the Left is doing itself no favors by “canceling” him.

Dave Chappelle

All they will do is to make him angry and, in a surreal way, a new favorite of people he definitely doesn’t like — the MAGA New Right. The interesting thing is Chappelle’s “crime” is he refuses to back down and refuses to abide by the Leftist media narrative when it comes to, specifically, trans issues. The whole trans debate is very complicated and requires a nuance that the fucking cocksuckers of the MAGA New Right simply do not have in them.

Their political response to what’s going on between Chappelle and the trans community is nothing more than a grunt — “Chappelle good, trans people bad.” They know nothing more about what’s going on — anything else about Chappelle’s oeuvre than this particular situation.

Admittedly, Chappelle is probably a bit more traditionalist than a lot of other comics. But he’s nowhere near conservative enough to make him the golden child, the exemplar that the MAGA New Right would have you believe. But it is interesting that, weirdly enough, Chappelle is actually facing some consequences for his bucking the trans media narrative. Not here to judge this situation, just telling you what’s going on.

Chappelle is getting shows canceled here and there because of what is perceived as his anti-trans stance. Usually, people who are allegedly “canceled” are actually not canceled and if they are cancelled, they legitimately did something bad enough to deserve it.

So, Chappelle’s canceling is unusual because it actually fits the definition of the shorthand of what it means to be “cancelled.”

What’s so weird is where did the idea of being “canceled” come from in the first place. I have, in the past, suggested that the canceling movement comes from a combination of a generational shift in pop culture expectations being amplified by something akin to a “soft Singularity.”

Anyway, leave Chappelle alone. Please?

‘The Running Lib:’ The Link Between The Rise of American Fascism & Republicans’ Obsession With AR-15s

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

It definitely seems as though Republicans have one core belief and that is: owning libs. The idea of “owning the libs” is so fundamental, so existential to what they believe that in their campaign ads they simply can not have enough AR-15s. They don’t stop at holding one.

Coming soon to a Republican campaign ad near you.

No, they need at least two. And if they’re forced to hold only one AR-15, then it has to be pointed at something, as if they’re going to murder in cold political blood the next libtard that cross their path. It makes you wonder what’s next. Are Republicans going to abduct members of The Atlantic staff and film snuff films where they chase them through the streets of New York City with an AR-15?

Definitely seems possible, the way things are going.

But there is a broader connection between Republicans obsession with AR-15 and the rise of fascism in the United States. Even though Trump pretty much is totally above the law and fuck you lib, the idea that Leftists are burning cities down, and, as such, God fearing Republicans need to have a few AR-15s at the ready are very much intertwined.

The thing I fear your typical Twitter liberal doesn’t grasp is how popular autocratic, theocratic fascism is in the United States. If you add in conservative Traditionalists who aren’t MAGA but hate libs because they think they’re all “groomers” the total percent of the electorate in favor of a white Christian ethnostate is probably at least 48%.

So, I don’t know what to tell you. It definitely feels like we’re going to slip peacefully into fascist autocracy. Republicans are just too organized and passionate. Good luck. Get out of the country if you can.

‘A Modest Proposal’

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Just from talking to my Traditionalist relatives, I can tell you that they’re too busy owning the libs over cow farts to do anything about humanity’s impending doom from global climate change. It’s not that they not believe the weather is weird or that it’s changing, it’s just they refuse to do anything about it. They usually couch their answers in terms how the weather is always changing and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.

American Traditionalists would literally rather bequeath a planet too hot to live on that risk missing an opportunity to own the libs. The more I think about it, the more it seems like the only way we save humanity is for America to have that “National Divorce” that MAGA New Right people seem to masturbate to all the time.

But it should be Blues, not Reds who serve the papers.

Even if such a National Divorce caused the use of WMD and the USA bombing itself into oblivion and WW3 happened because of it, maybe when came out the other side humanity would all be on the same page about what to do about global climate change.

Because as of right now, a united America is so unable to address the existential danger of global climate change that it’s better that we slide into civil war and hope for the best. If we don’t do anything, the climate is only going to get worse and worse to the point that earth is uninhabitable.

But at least every last lib will be owned, like with a boot on their face for eternity.

Debating MAGA Is A Waste Of Time

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

MAGA’s political thinking has reached a point where it is so recursive that it’s very pointless to talk to them if you don’t agree with them. I suppose the same could be said for me as anti-MAGA as well, but usually if I feel the person who disagrees with me is acting in good faith I’ll at least give them a chance before walking away.

One talking point I’ve gotten recently from MAGA is the idea that it’s the Left that is “burning down cities because they don’t get what they want.” Of course, one could point out that the most egregious example of people turning to violence because they didn’t get what they wanted came from MAGA when they stormed the Capitol.

It’s arguments like that one the part of MAGA that makes me just tune out. I give up. How do you have an honest debate with someone who either always talks in bad faith, or if they do talk in good faith, they’re so absolutely partisan than they see compromise as weakness and, as such, something that has to be exploited and attacked.

Jesus Christ, fuck that!

And this totally ignores that I keep saying that MAGA has every reason to not be violent because they’re getting everything they want via the courts and politics. I keep saying this over and over and over and over again but MAGA is so full of angry crybabies who feel aggrieved that they…just…don’t…listen…to…me. They’re so angry about how thing think anyone who isn’t MAGA is gay or a “groomer” or both that they don’t even hear it when you tell them that they just need to be patient and they’ll get everything they want.

It’s very, very frustrating.

When about half the population hates the term “liberal” so absolutely that just the use of the term, period, for any reason evokes rage you got a problem. I mean, I can’t say “liberal democracy” or “liberal world order” without a MAGA person freaking the fuck out. FUCK YOU, MAGA, YOU COLLECTIVE PIECES OF SHIT.

Anyway. We’re doomed. We either turn into an autocracy or have a civil war. There is no middle ground and neither side is listening to the other. There is no solution at this point other than to just leave the country. Or figure out what you believe in and what you’re willing to suffer for in the real world when the time comes.

Things are dark and getting darker.

Two Nations — One Red, One Blue

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

One thing that continues to really get on my nerves is how clueless the nattering nabobs of negativism on Twitter can be so clueless about the intentions of Reds. They got to great pains to point out the ostensibly “dumb” comments that Red “thought leaders” make.

First of all, all the dumb things that Red thought leaders say aren’t dumb — they’re craven. Red leaders know their audience and they know what gets them a prized Fox News primetime slot. Sometimes, to get on Fox News they simply jumble a series of MAGA catch phrases and buzz words together in something that doesn’t sound like English — at least to someone who isn’t MAGA.

As such, you have Red governors ranting about how unsecure the border is — even though their specific state is nowhere near the fucking border! But that’s not how the MAGA base sees it. They know that it’s not “the border” it’s The Border. In the mind of MAGA there is only one border — the national border. I don’t think anyone really appreciates that MAGA really wants that fucking wall built even though it’s completely bonkers to propose and that’s not even how most illegal immigrants get in the country.

I point them to a link that explains that it’s people overstaying their visas, not crossing the border that is causing the immigration crisis and because the article was in The Atlantic, they dismiss it as “bogus” and “liberal propaganda.”

The point of all of this is Blues and Reds are now so siloed in what they believe that neither side has any clue what the other side thinks and, as such, projects onto them what they believe they think. So, Reds think that all Blues are “groomers” who want to cancel anyone who doesn’t fit their media narrative. Meanwhile, Blues like me throw around the term “fascist” when it comes to Reds — something that often makes Reds quite upset. (They are fascists, by the way.)

But where does all this lead us? Well, as I keep saying there’s a spectrum of what is going to happen in the United States. On one end, there’s civil war (unlikely at this point ) and on the other is autocracy.

At the moment, it definitely seems as though we’re going to stop being two nations and start becoming just one — Trumplandia. I suppose it’s possible that we’ll have a civil war but if it happens it will be because Blues leave the Union, not because Reds decide to have that revolution they apparently have a huge hard on for. Fuck you if you want a MAGA revolution, by the way. Eat shit.

But we’re going to become an autocracy because the center-Left is so divided, poorly focused and poorly lead that they just don’t have the guts necessary to leave the Union and, as such, start a civil war. So, lulz. That’s it. We’re going to turn into an autocracy (probably much like Hungary) and Reds will, at last, not have to worry about being canceled.

They may have to worry about relatives — like me! — who refuse to get with the Red program being snatched off the street by ICE and found in a ditch somewhere, but ho um. I suppose it will be worth it to them in the long run.

The Vibe Shift Status Report

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

We definitely are in a vibe shift, but what are some of the details of the shift? Well, from what I can tell, when it comes to music, people want to dance. So, a a number of major artists are coming out with releases that are in the dance pop rock – disco spectrum.

I really like Halsey’s part of the song “Stay With Me.” Sadly, the rest of the song is rather meh. A remixed version of the song that purged it of all the artists in the song and focused exclusively on Halsey’s interesting part of the song would be a hit.

It’s so bad, that every time I hear the Halsey part of “Stay With Me” I get really excited…then I hear the rest of the song and I get frustrated. It’s like when Rihanna or Skyar Grey would do guest spots in a song and you’re like, “Hey, I want to hear them sing the entire song!”

The other thing is the color pallet for clothing has gone neon for some reason. Everyone is wearing bright pink or bright green these days for some reason. It’s notable because it’s kind of happened overnight. A lot of stars just seemingly all decided to be very NEON in what they go out on the town in.

Movies have yet to be changed by the vibe shift. Though, I suppose the interest in the multiverse when it comes to storytelling might be considered a vibe shift trait. Which makes me sad — I was hoping for the gritty movies of the 1970s making a come back.

But, the vibe shift is still young, maybe that will happen.

Well, I’ve Got An Interesting Story On My Hands With This Novel, If Nothing Else

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

As I write yet another version of this novel, I find myself thinking about how it fits in the market place as well as how strong the story is. The story, at the moment at least, is interesting, easy to read page turner. But I have to admit to myself that some of the characterizations are rather weak because the characters are more “vibes” and “placeholders” than real people.

But, as I love to tell myself at these moments, “You can’t edit a blank page.”

So, I’m going to go through my latest outline and write the best draft I can. I know this story and the universe so well that things are really beginning to fall into place.

But, I have to admit, even I am growing tired of me talking about this project. I feel like shutting up — but I’m 100% extroverted and I tend to get drunk and feel like talking about the main thing going on in my life at the moment: this novel.

As such, I keep talking and writing about this six novel project because at the moment it’s pretty much the only thing going on in my life at the moment.

Will MAGA Start A Revolution?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Ok, so you’re drinking Coors Lite with your buds at the cabin, you know, the one where you SWEAR you saw Big Foot, and you come to your evening’s 2 minutes of Liberal Hate. You talk about how all liberals want to do is “groom” third graders and how Dr. Fauci OBVIOUSLY directly made money from COIVD and why isn’t he in jail yet?

Before things finish, though, you realize that there needs to be a revolution or something. So, in your anger, you search for “MAGA Revolution?” and end up here.

First of all, you’re a fucking cocksucker who was high when you “saw Big Foot.” Fuck you, you piece of shit.

Ok, but let’s get the the question at hand, “Will MAGA start a revolution?”

This is such a dumb, dumb, dumb sentiment for lots of reasons, chief among them it’s highly unlikely that MAGA will start a “revolution” than a “civil war.” But you’re obviously an idiot and “revolution” makes you feel better.

The crux of this question is the idea that, for some reason, MAGA is going to freak out and start murdering people like yours truly for political reasons, using all those AR-15s that you want to fuck so bad.

I hate to break it to you, you fucking cocksucker MAGA piece of shit, but it makes no sense at all for MAGA to start either a revolution or a civil war. Why in the world would MAGA do that? Republicans are just a few months away from winning the House and SCOTUS is handing MAGA everything it could possibly want and more on a silver plate.

I suppose there is the chance that Trump will get named Speaker in 2023 and he will demand a civil war unless both Biden and Harris are impeached by the House and convicted by the Senate. But that, while very possible, still is very silly and would be a massive self own when all Trump would have to do is be fucking patient.

The point is — the MAGA New Right has a concrete vested interest in there not being a civil war. Meanwhile, if there is going to be a civil war, it won’t be Reds who start it, but Blues. WHY IS THIS SO FUCKING HARD FOR PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND.

JESUS H. CHRIST.

This frustrates me because plenty of very well educated Twitter liberals who should know better still chase the shiny object of Reds being interested in starting a civil war.

Ugh. What’s worse, I don’t even think we’re going to have a civil war! We’re just going to slouch into autocracy.