Month: November 2023

Thinking Outside The Box

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Things are going really well with this third draft of the novel, but for one thing. I continue to think of different ways to make the story “better” which slows me down. I still want to wrap up the first three chapters by Dec. 1st, but the holiday season is here and that means mass chaos in my personal life.

The president of Hollywood is breathing down my neck to finish this novel before I croak.
But I am feeling for more focused on energized of late. I can feel the tick-tock of age in the back of my mind and I have to hurry the fuck up. I’m officially behind Stieg Larsson, who was published at 50.

I have another problem — even if I stick the landing with the novel, I could languish for years in the querying process. A lot will depend on luck. I suppose if ding-dong Trump gets a second chance at being an American Autocrat, that some of the anti-extremism themes found in this projected six novel series might resonate.

But the issue is — I have to get this fucking thing done sooner rather than later.

Time To Put The ‘President Hillary Would Have Saved Us’ Counterfactual to Bed

by Ender

Way, way, WAY too many well meaning liberals have learned the wrong lesson from the lasting political power of malignant ding-dong Trump. They continue to cling on the delusional belief that if only Hillary Clinton had won in 2016 all of our problems would have been solved.

They. Are. So. Fucking. Delusional.

I say this because Trump is a symptom, not a cause. If Trump had lost in 2016 two things might have happened instead — he would have gotten worse and become president in 2020, or someone like him would have become POTUS in 2020 or 2024. There are severe macro issues bending American politics in weird ways and all the people who jerk off to the latest breathless Mueller, She Wrote tweet need to grow the fuck up.

In my mind, Mueller, She Wrote symbolizes everything wrong with modern liberalism. No one is going to save us, babe. We have to save ourselves. I wear your block on Twitter as a badge of honor.

The thing that liberals seem to think is if only Hillary Clinton had won, we would be awash in liberal-progressive judges. Ha! Bullshit. All that would have happened is there would be three or more vacancies on the SCOTUS — and many more throughout the judiciary — until Trump, or someone like him, was elected in 2020 or 2024.

If you think that’s “hysterical doom shit,” then fuck you. You’re an oblivious idiot who thinks that if only you tweet harder that somehow, magically the rise of fascism will be stopped without you having risk your life and scared honor in the real fucking world.

The Sprint Begins

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m just about to lock down the first two chapters of the third draft of my first novel. It’s some of the best writing I’ve ever done. I’m really, really pleased. I just have to keep the quality of work up.

I’m never going to be Gillian Flynn, but I am at least getting closer to Stieg Larsson quality writing (I know I read his stuff translated). The key thing that changed in the last month or so is I’ve finally — finally — figured out the relationship between different people as the story opens.

As such, now I can zoom through the much of the novel. I still have a lot of issues with some structure ahead of me — especially in the third act –but, in general, I know this story so well that things writing *should* move at a pretty nice clip.

But there are some known unknowns. One is the holiday season is now here and that is going to scramble things on an emotional basis. Meanwhile, I’ve been in a very — VERY — idyllic situation when it comes to writing for a long time and that is bound to change — one way or another — sooner rather than later. I just have to accept that.

What’s more EVEN IF I stick the landing of this novel, the looming Fourth Turning and Petite Singularity starting in late 2024, early 2025 is something I’ve quite worried about. And that’s over and above what a stressful pain in the ass the querying process is on whole.

Anyway. Wish me luck.

The Fear Is, Of Course, That Tyrant Trump Will Be More Pol Pot Than Hitler

by Ender

While neither Hitler nor Pol Pot were great guys, I think we’re missing the point to suggest that Tyrant Trump will be an American Hitler. I say this because while Tyrant Trump definitely shares a lot of traits with Hitler, there is one key element to MAGA that makes me think Pol Pot is a more accurate comparison: MAGA is a movement not of expansion, but of retrenchment.

What’s more, emptying the cities and having American Killing fields is definitely something I could imagine Trump — or his equally deranged fascist successor — doing. MAGA hates the elites and the cities to the point that if things went totally off the rails then soon enough, after the ICE infrastructure has been weaponized, MAGA may skip a few steps and simply empty the cities en masse.

That is an extremely dark scenario. And I don’t *really* think any such thing will happen. But if we’re going to think about what happens if Trump goes full tyrant, maybe we think more about the social impact of Pol Pot rather than Hitler.

A Character In Macro Focus

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I know, in general terms, the arc of a six novel project. As such, I’ve been forced into a corner in a number respects when constructing the first novel. There are a number of characters that I want to introduce in the first novel so we get to see them grow and change over the course of the six novels.

One character I’ve come up with is a woman who is just out of college as we open the first novel in late 1994. In my mind, she looks a lot like this:

Sadie Sink

As the story told in the six novels progresses, she slips in and out of the lives of the main characters that populate the various novels. In the end, about 25 years alter, she’s a tough-as-nails FBI agent that gives one of the main characters in the last two novels no end of trouble.

She looks looks like this:

Jessica Chastain
NEW YORK, NY – DECEMBER 04: Actress Jessica Chastain attends the “Zero Dark Thirty” New York Photo Call at Ritz Carlton Hotel on December 4, 2012 in New York City. (Photo by Cindy Ord/Getty Images)

Holy Shit Is Elizabeth Debicki A Babe

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I have an eye for beauty. And the Hollywood ingenue who has caught my attention recently is Elizabeth Debicki. She is freakish tall and yet drop dead gorgeous.

Elizabeth Debicki

It’s those legs, bruh. She — and those legs of hers — first caught my attention in Tenant. Man, oh man. Stunning. I wonder if she’s an actress who is cool with showing off her best asset on screen or if she is actually really modest and doesn’t like to show off her legs.

It’s a mystery!

Anyway. I wish her the best. I’m really short compared to her, but she’s still stunning.

Things May Be About To Go REALLY FAST With This Third Draft Of My First Novel

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

If my hunch is right and I’m able to lock down the first three chapters of this novel by, say, the end of November…hold on to your hats, we’re about to rock n roll. I say this because once I establish the basic relationships between all the characters, then a basic element of the story will be sorted out.

And if you factor in that I know most of the second act like the back of my hand at this point, then I can probably rewrite it quite quickly. The third act, though, oh boy. That’s the act that is going to be tough. If anything causes a delay in my mental timetable about when this novel will be “finished” and the post-production process begins, it’s figuring out a totally new third act.

That could soak up a significant amount of time.

But I am still, however, on track to start querying by no later than maybe September. That’s the dream. That’s the goal. Then a whole new era of this novel will begin. I’m well aware that everything sucks and I may be “on sub” for years…but, fuck it.

Let’s rock.

It Seems Possible The Hollywood Industrial Complex Isn’t Unaware Of My Dream

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

First, let me be clear — it’s extremely flattering if *anyone* connected to Hollywood or the literary world is in any way looking at this blog. I’m so living in oblivion at the moment that just the hint of such a thing being possible is enough to make my week — month?

The President of Hollywood
I only say this because of some rather odd pings in the depths of this blog, as if a lot is going on with the blog that I’m not seeing. I mean, why would someone give a shit about a whole page of me just idly talking on video in vague terms about a novel in this series? (The earlier you go in posts, the more likely the novel I’m talking about is actually the two novels that come from one big story that makes up the last two novels in a projected six novel series.)

I’m so blasé about all of this that I don’t even care that much. I mean, it would be *nice* if they were keeping tabs on this blog because they thought the general premise of the novel was cool and accessible. I’d prefer they not be looking at this blog because they want to take the premise I’ve come up as the premise of a screenplay.

But, I know this novel is getting really good. It’s really, really different and unexpected because it treats stripping in a rather matter-of-fact kind of way. It validates sex work in a non-salacious manner. Which, I think, will really appeal to women readers.

Even if I am a smelly CIS white male.

A Known Bug With The Third Draft Of My First Novel: Too Many Female Characters(?)

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Things are moving really, really fast now with the third draft. I hope to lock down the first three chapters by no later than the end of the month. I’m still on track to finish the third draft by about April 1st.

Looking over my copy, however, I’ve noticed something — I have an unusually high number of female characters. Now, this isn’t all bad — women read a lot of novels — but, lulz, I’m a smelly CIS white male, a member of the patriarchy, if you will, and there will be a bunch of fucking woke Xennials who make it VERY CLEAR that I have no right to write from a female point of view as a man.

Ugh. Fuck that and fuck them.

All that should matter is I tell a good story. That’s it. I feel a little bit like Freddy Mercury with Boeheim Rapsody in that if you know the macro plot for the six novels of this project, then it makes sense for all these characters to be female. There is a method to my madness.

And I think I’m probably overthinking things some. Again, as long as I tell a good story I think the unusually high number of scenes where two or more women are talking about something shouldn’t be TOO much of an issue.

I hope.

Dreading The Due Diligence Of Literary Agents In About A Year As Part Of The Querying Process

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I honestly don’t know what I’m going to do about literary agent due diligence on my sorry ass when I start to query. The thing about querying is people who don’t give a shit about you are going to become aware of your existence. And if you’re a fucking drunk kook crank like me, then, oh boy, their evaluation could be pretty brutal.

But, lulz, what am I going to do about it now?

I suppose there are a few things on the edges I could do to mitigate how bad things might be seen from the point of view of a literary agent. And, yet, fuck it, I refuse to change who I am. Let the chips fall where they may.

But I definitely need to psych myself up. It’s going to be very disheartening about a year from now to see people who are clearly literary agents poking around this blog. I understand that to someone who doesn’t have the time to have a conversation with me to find out my story that…I can come across as an eccentric.

And I will admit that I’m kind of bonkers. Maybe a lot bonkers.

But I will note that there are plenty of famous people who are just as bonkers as I am who are called “colorful” rather than nuts. Anyway. There’s nothing I can do about it now. Wish me luck.